FAQ: Answers to the Most Common Questions i Hear
Answers to the Most Common Questions i Receive:
Q1: Wanna Chat/Cam/Text/Phone? A: No, i do not want to text/audio/video chat with You here or on any other site, I just don’t have that kind of free time. i don’t need Your Whatsapp, Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Telegram, Yahoo, Google Hangouts, Facetime, Phone Number, Snap Chat, Text Number, Kik, etc.
Q2: Can we chat live? A: Maybe, but usually not, since i am typically here during the work day when my focus is work and i am rarely here in the evenings and on weekend when my focus is on my Husband and doing things we enjoy together. i used to roleplay on two old style talkers (as nadiaj on Shangrila, and gina on Crystal Palace), to fulfill my BDSM fantasies in a safe, virtual environment. See my blog at https://xhamster.com/posts/323997 for details if You are interested. NOTE: i no longer have time for roleplay on these talkers.
Q3: Why bother logging in to xHamster if you don’t have time to chat with me? A: Often i log in while working (from home) to clear friend requests and respond to messages and comments. Typically i am doing this between work related phone calls and emails and may have long idle times on xHam. It does not make me feel good about a potential friendship when i return to my xHam screen to find multiple messages from someone i do not know sent every few minutes over a 30 minute period such as this one (from memory, but You get the idea, needless to say we did not become friends): “Hey you!” “Wassup???” “U There?” “Did I piss U off?” “Y U ignore me?” “Respond to me bitch!” “Fuck you!”
Q4: Wanna Fuck? A: No. Actually the answer is probably “yes, i want to make love to my Husband” but the question that is really being asked is whether i want to fuck the person sending the message, so the answer is “no.”
Q5: Why do you come here? A: i come here to share and exchange ideas and fantasies with similarly minded people. i enjoy chatting via messages here (though there should be no expectation of real time conversation), reading blogs and erotic stories, viewing images and watching videos, particularly those that explore my fantasies. While i typically only come here during my work day when my Husband is at work, He knows i come here to explore fantasies and that i roleplay on ** and Shangrila. He typically can guess how much i have been online based on how horny i am when He gets home from work! NOTE: Due to the pandemic, my Husband normally works from home near me, so my time here is even more limited than before.
Q6: Your pics are boring, will you please share some that show some more skin? A: The photos i share on FetLife are the ONLY pics i share (they used to be available here too, but a few years ago defaulted to "owner only" view). i do not share additional photos, the pics i share are the ones that my Husband and i agreed many years ago i would share, and no others, to ensure nobody will know they are me (only we have seen the ones i share, not our RL relatives or friends) and to preserve the intimacy of nudes for ourselves. Even with blurring my face, if i start sharing newer pics wearing outfits that i wear currently (or even recently), the fear is someone will recognize me, or show up at our home due to GPS info encoded in the image. i am not a tech geek, so please don't tell me what i can do to eliminate the GPS info from photos taken with a smart device in an effort to get me to send You pics of my toes, my armpits, my yard, etc., it's simply safest to "just say no."
Q7: What are you into, what excites you? A: For starters, You can also view my blogs, particularly the one about my fantasies at https://xhamster.com/posts/300998
Also, You can look at my favorite videos, particularly those listed in my blog at https://xhamster.com/posts/292059 since that is a very good way to see what i find exciting. BDSM videos are my favorites (allowing me to fantasize about being in the sub's place), along with amateur videos that i can relate to showing "real" people, rather than barbie doll porn stars. i should note that some videos are saved as favorites not because they are my favorites necessarily, but because Dom/mes i serve online have instructed me to search for videos that meet their likes and fantasies, and provide them with links, to save them the effort of searching. *blush*
Q8: Can we meet up in person? A: No, i am happily married and would never do anything to jeopardize that! i have no interest, desire, want or need to meet people from xHamster for coffee, lunch, drinks, or a weekend of uninhibited BDSM. i have been 100% faithful for over 20 years of marriage and i will not do anything that could potentially change that!
Q9: You claim you are happily married, but if you were really happy, why would you come here? A: This one baffles me. So many people seem to think that the only reason to explore one’s sexual fantasies is dissatisfaction with their sexual reality. i find just the opposite is true, that satisfaction with my sexual reality leads me to explore my fantasies more, which in turn strengthens my reality. Some of the ideas i get end up incorporated into our reality, but most do not. This does not mean that my fantasies are being left unfulfilled by my Husband, the reality is most of my fantasies would be quite distasteful to me in reality, but as fantasies they are very arousing to me. We have a very fulfilling sex life, with natural ebbs and flows. After over 20 years of marriage, there are still periods when we have sex at least once a day for a stretch of time, then there are dry spells where a week or more passes without making time for physical intimacy. Note, since Master Danny started requiring me to suck my Husband's cock 3x daily W/we are more connected than ever before, and O/our previously very good sex life is absolutely fantastic!!!
Q10: Why don’t you capitalize the word “I” when referring to yourself, why do you capitalize “You” when referring to others? A: This goes back to my training online as a submissive over the last 15+ years, and Masters and Mistresses that insisted that i show deference to them, and my understanding of my place, by capitalizing all references to Them and none of the references to myself. i still do this when communicating with free persons who are not slaves, and when communicating with my Master, to show that i respect and honor Him as my Master.
Q11: Why do you refer me to your blogs for information about you, why can’t we just talk? A: We can talk, and i enjoy doing so, but with hundreds of people asking me the same questions over and over, this is the best way to answer those questions for everyone, so what little time i do have can be spent talking about things that are more interesting and unique! :-)
Q12: What hobbies and activities do you enjoy away from xHamster? A: i love spending time outside, and enjoy many outdoor activities with my Husband including cycling, hiking, snowshoeing, paddling (canoe, kayak), swimming, beach volleyball, disc golf, tennis, yard work and lounging naked in the sun in our secluded yard, or on the beaches at Haulover and Gunnison when travel permits. We also love to travel, especially to warm places in the winter!
Q13: What are you wearing? What do you do for work? A: These two go together because i work out of my home 99% of the time. Because of this, You may be disappointed to learn that during the workday i am probably wearing lounge wear or sweats in the winter, shorts and a t-shirt or tank top in the summer, a robe any time of year, or nothing at all. My job requires intense attention at times (so if You send me a message and i don’t get back to You, i am probably not ignoring You), and very little attention at other times. i am an Account Manager, basically a liaison between an outside marketing company, and our clients. i keep them happy, and my company is happy. i work with clients to design program responses, train reps, report on results and monitor performance real time to make changes as needed.
Q14: Nadia is an interesting name for an American woman, are you from Russia or Romania or another eastern European nation? A: Actually, no, my parents are Irish and Italian and i was born in the USA in 1977, about a year after the 1976 Summer Olympics. My parents heard the name Nadia Comăneci so much during the Olympics that a year later when i was born they decided to name me Nadia (they had thought i was going to be a boy and had not thought much about girl names, so it was a spur of the moment decision).
Q15: Do you and your Husband swing? Have you ever had group sex? A: We have had sex in a group environment a couple times, but never swapped partners. Once it was just in a hotel room where we were sharing a double queen room with another couple, we were both ***** and horny and we each made love to our partners in our own bed, while sneaking peeks back and forth. Another time was late at night, after a party had ended, us and another couple were playing in a rented bounce house, one thing led to another, and we ended up naked and having sex very close to each other in the bounce house, in very clear view of each other. We do not swing because we are in a loving, fulfilling and committed relationship with each other and neither of us has any desire to swing.
Q16: If I can’t see more revealing pics, will you please tell me more about your body? A: Ok, i am being generous with that question, more often than not the question is phrased differently, like “How big are those titties” or “Is your pussy smooth or what?” So, i will do my best to describe my body here, for those of You who do not like to imagine what is concealed in my pics. ;-P
i am 5’ 4” and i weigh 135 lbs, give or take 5 pounds or so. i have brown hair and eyes. my skin tans nicely but is also lightly freckled, more so in the summer, thanks to my Irish/Italian heritage. Most of my time in the sun is spent nude thanks to the seclusion afforded my Husband and me by our 40 acre property, so the tan lines visible in the images i share are no longer as defined as they used to be, however my 34D breasts (i do have a couple 36C bras that fit too) do tend to create some less tan flesh beneath them, since while doing yard work or throwing the Frisbee naked, gravity does has a significant effect on them.
my nipples are light tan and not particularly long, even when hard. my areolas are slightly oval in a north-south direction and are about the size of a half dollar and very light, just a slight shade darker than my breasts and not particularly defined. They tend to be very sensitive particularly around my period. my flesh has no tattoos and my only piercings are the single holes in each of my ears.
my sex has been kept hairless for well over a decade now. Because an online Master had instructed me to tweeze hairs individually for Him, i discovered that i liked how long the tweezed hair took to grow back and over time the hair became thinner and easier to remove. At this point it is very easy to maintain myself hairless with regular brief tweezing sessions, but when life gets too busy i will sometimes run a razor over the area in the shower while shaving my legs to maintain my smooth appearance. While the initial tweezing was to please an online Master and His preference for how my sex should look, my Husband (he also shaves from an inch or so above his cock down over his balls) and i discovered how much more we enjoyed sex (both oral and intercourse) without any hair getting in our way, so we keep ourselves smooth for our pleasure.
my sex is fortunately very quick to lubricate (but i do not squirt), saving us a fortune in lube costs every year, LOL. my clit is fairly small but very sensitive, and my lips are very tight to my body, even when swollen. My vagina is fairly shallow, so even my Husband’s six inches can cause me discomfort if He thrusts too hard and deep in certain positions, pressing against my cervix. If He were any larger He would not be able to sink himself fully inside me, so it works out nicely that He isn’t hung like a porn star!
Orgasm comes very easily to me when my clit is getting direct stimulation, but also through intercourse which yields a more fulfilling, layered orgasm, particularly when the intercourse is combined with some light pain, typically achieved through firmly pinching and lightly tugging and twisting my nipples or spanking my ass when He is fucking me from behind. i most frequently orgasm from intercourse when i am being fucked from behind (doggie style is my favorite position for this reason) or when i am on top but the occasional orgasm results when i am being fucked missionary as well. i have never had anal sex, there is really no interest for me or hubby, but i have inserted items in my ass for online Dom/mes as instructed (vibe, finger, empty beer bottle, veggies). i was 16 the first time i sucked a cock and 17 the first time i was fucked. i have been with only 6 different men and fucked only 3 of them.
Q17 What do you want to do for me? What would you do for me? What will you do for me? A: This is a big pet peeve of mine, it feels like a passive aggressive way of getting me to role play by asking me to describe what i would do if we were to role play. i find it pointless to discuss the future in hypotheticals, since if we actually do role play in the future, we will have already determined in detail what is going to happen, therefore the excitement and mystery is removed, essentially making the role play predetermined and boring. If You are looking for examples of what might occur during role play, see the snapshots i have included in my blog at https://xhamster.com/posts/323997 which should paint a picture for You.
Q18: Why don’t you want to be my friend / Why did you decline my friend request? A: This one is a long answer, that’s why it is last. There are so many reasons why i decline friend requests. Hopefully this will help to clarify.
i decline 99% of friend requests that come through from people i do not know without a message indicating why You would like to be friends with me (more than just "Hi" or "Wanna do me?"). It is important to note that any messages or comments should be left BEFORE You send me a friend request, or i might reject the invite before i hear from You! The most common reason that i reject an invite is quite simply that we do not know each other and therefore are not friends. We have had very little or no personal communication (private message or comment on one of my pics for example) and i do not know who You are. Another reason for declining a friend invite would be that You have too many friends (in my opinion) and look like a friend collector. Over 500 friends is a huge red flag to me (who has the time to keep up with that many people?), or more friends than the number of days you have been on xHam. It was once my personal goal to have fewer than 50 “friends” here (which i later modified to a more realistic goal of maintaining my friends number at 69, one of my favorite numbers), so i am very selective about which invites i accept.
If You really want to be my friend, a good start would be leaving comments on my images or blogs so i know why You are interested. Even if You are not commenting on what i share, i expect to see that You are commenting on something, if You have been here for 500 days and left ******* comments, my first impression will be that You are a lazy “taker” and likely won’t give much in return. A rule of thumb for me is if Your number of days here is higher than Your number of comments, then i am less likely to accept Your invitation.
i do look at profiles of people who request friendship and if i see my photo gallery or one of my blogs in Your favorites there is a much better chance that i will accept Your friendship offer. If You have no content or shared favorites that might show me we are into the same things, i will typically reject the invite. Often i receive a friend request from someone who has likely reviewed the info i share publicly, but they only share their info with friends, so i accept their invite and review what they share to see if we have interests in common, if not i immediately remove the friend connection. i will also remove friends periodically when i feel like we aren’t really communicating as regularly as friends normally due (no fault here, just neither one of us is initiating conversation), but that doesn’t mean i am not happy to stay in touch via messages here.
This brings up an interesting topic, it seems many folks on xHamster do not know that their favorites are not visible to others. To check, go to “My Links” then “Settings” to see what You are sharing with folks who look at Your profile. For example, Show My Profile, Show My Favorite Videos, Show My Favorite Photos & Galleries and Show My Favorite Posts & Stories are all set on my profile to “For All.” For images or videos You share, You would need to set the Privacy setting to “Public” for all to be able to see, or “For Friends Only” if You prefer to share the item only with Your friends.
With all this said, if i reject Your friend invite, i am not necessarily rejecting You, i am simply saying that i see no reason to be linked together as “friends” on xHamster. i may still enjoy chatting with You and keeping in touch. :-) –nadia
Q1: Wanna Chat/Cam/Text/Phone? A: No, i do not want to text/audio/video chat with You here or on any other site, I just don’t have that kind of free time. i don’t need Your Whatsapp, Skype, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Telegram, Yahoo, Google Hangouts, Facetime, Phone Number, Snap Chat, Text Number, Kik, etc.
Q2: Can we chat live? A: Maybe, but usually not, since i am typically here during the work day when my focus is work and i am rarely here in the evenings and on weekend when my focus is on my Husband and doing things we enjoy together. i used to roleplay on two old style talkers (as nadiaj on Shangrila, and gina on Crystal Palace), to fulfill my BDSM fantasies in a safe, virtual environment. See my blog at https://xhamster.com/posts/323997 for details if You are interested. NOTE: i no longer have time for roleplay on these talkers.
Q3: Why bother logging in to xHamster if you don’t have time to chat with me? A: Often i log in while working (from home) to clear friend requests and respond to messages and comments. Typically i am doing this between work related phone calls and emails and may have long idle times on xHam. It does not make me feel good about a potential friendship when i return to my xHam screen to find multiple messages from someone i do not know sent every few minutes over a 30 minute period such as this one (from memory, but You get the idea, needless to say we did not become friends): “Hey you!” “Wassup???” “U There?” “Did I piss U off?” “Y U ignore me?” “Respond to me bitch!” “Fuck you!”
Q4: Wanna Fuck? A: No. Actually the answer is probably “yes, i want to make love to my Husband” but the question that is really being asked is whether i want to fuck the person sending the message, so the answer is “no.”
Q5: Why do you come here? A: i come here to share and exchange ideas and fantasies with similarly minded people. i enjoy chatting via messages here (though there should be no expectation of real time conversation), reading blogs and erotic stories, viewing images and watching videos, particularly those that explore my fantasies. While i typically only come here during my work day when my Husband is at work, He knows i come here to explore fantasies and that i roleplay on ** and Shangrila. He typically can guess how much i have been online based on how horny i am when He gets home from work! NOTE: Due to the pandemic, my Husband normally works from home near me, so my time here is even more limited than before.
Q6: Your pics are boring, will you please share some that show some more skin? A: The photos i share on FetLife are the ONLY pics i share (they used to be available here too, but a few years ago defaulted to "owner only" view). i do not share additional photos, the pics i share are the ones that my Husband and i agreed many years ago i would share, and no others, to ensure nobody will know they are me (only we have seen the ones i share, not our RL relatives or friends) and to preserve the intimacy of nudes for ourselves. Even with blurring my face, if i start sharing newer pics wearing outfits that i wear currently (or even recently), the fear is someone will recognize me, or show up at our home due to GPS info encoded in the image. i am not a tech geek, so please don't tell me what i can do to eliminate the GPS info from photos taken with a smart device in an effort to get me to send You pics of my toes, my armpits, my yard, etc., it's simply safest to "just say no."
Q7: What are you into, what excites you? A: For starters, You can also view my blogs, particularly the one about my fantasies at https://xhamster.com/posts/300998
Also, You can look at my favorite videos, particularly those listed in my blog at https://xhamster.com/posts/292059 since that is a very good way to see what i find exciting. BDSM videos are my favorites (allowing me to fantasize about being in the sub's place), along with amateur videos that i can relate to showing "real" people, rather than barbie doll porn stars. i should note that some videos are saved as favorites not because they are my favorites necessarily, but because Dom/mes i serve online have instructed me to search for videos that meet their likes and fantasies, and provide them with links, to save them the effort of searching. *blush*
Q8: Can we meet up in person? A: No, i am happily married and would never do anything to jeopardize that! i have no interest, desire, want or need to meet people from xHamster for coffee, lunch, drinks, or a weekend of uninhibited BDSM. i have been 100% faithful for over 20 years of marriage and i will not do anything that could potentially change that!
Q9: You claim you are happily married, but if you were really happy, why would you come here? A: This one baffles me. So many people seem to think that the only reason to explore one’s sexual fantasies is dissatisfaction with their sexual reality. i find just the opposite is true, that satisfaction with my sexual reality leads me to explore my fantasies more, which in turn strengthens my reality. Some of the ideas i get end up incorporated into our reality, but most do not. This does not mean that my fantasies are being left unfulfilled by my Husband, the reality is most of my fantasies would be quite distasteful to me in reality, but as fantasies they are very arousing to me. We have a very fulfilling sex life, with natural ebbs and flows. After over 20 years of marriage, there are still periods when we have sex at least once a day for a stretch of time, then there are dry spells where a week or more passes without making time for physical intimacy. Note, since Master Danny started requiring me to suck my Husband's cock 3x daily W/we are more connected than ever before, and O/our previously very good sex life is absolutely fantastic!!!
Q10: Why don’t you capitalize the word “I” when referring to yourself, why do you capitalize “You” when referring to others? A: This goes back to my training online as a submissive over the last 15+ years, and Masters and Mistresses that insisted that i show deference to them, and my understanding of my place, by capitalizing all references to Them and none of the references to myself. i still do this when communicating with free persons who are not slaves, and when communicating with my Master, to show that i respect and honor Him as my Master.
Q11: Why do you refer me to your blogs for information about you, why can’t we just talk? A: We can talk, and i enjoy doing so, but with hundreds of people asking me the same questions over and over, this is the best way to answer those questions for everyone, so what little time i do have can be spent talking about things that are more interesting and unique! :-)
Q12: What hobbies and activities do you enjoy away from xHamster? A: i love spending time outside, and enjoy many outdoor activities with my Husband including cycling, hiking, snowshoeing, paddling (canoe, kayak), swimming, beach volleyball, disc golf, tennis, yard work and lounging naked in the sun in our secluded yard, or on the beaches at Haulover and Gunnison when travel permits. We also love to travel, especially to warm places in the winter!
Q13: What are you wearing? What do you do for work? A: These two go together because i work out of my home 99% of the time. Because of this, You may be disappointed to learn that during the workday i am probably wearing lounge wear or sweats in the winter, shorts and a t-shirt or tank top in the summer, a robe any time of year, or nothing at all. My job requires intense attention at times (so if You send me a message and i don’t get back to You, i am probably not ignoring You), and very little attention at other times. i am an Account Manager, basically a liaison between an outside marketing company, and our clients. i keep them happy, and my company is happy. i work with clients to design program responses, train reps, report on results and monitor performance real time to make changes as needed.
Q14: Nadia is an interesting name for an American woman, are you from Russia or Romania or another eastern European nation? A: Actually, no, my parents are Irish and Italian and i was born in the USA in 1977, about a year after the 1976 Summer Olympics. My parents heard the name Nadia Comăneci so much during the Olympics that a year later when i was born they decided to name me Nadia (they had thought i was going to be a boy and had not thought much about girl names, so it was a spur of the moment decision).
Q15: Do you and your Husband swing? Have you ever had group sex? A: We have had sex in a group environment a couple times, but never swapped partners. Once it was just in a hotel room where we were sharing a double queen room with another couple, we were both ***** and horny and we each made love to our partners in our own bed, while sneaking peeks back and forth. Another time was late at night, after a party had ended, us and another couple were playing in a rented bounce house, one thing led to another, and we ended up naked and having sex very close to each other in the bounce house, in very clear view of each other. We do not swing because we are in a loving, fulfilling and committed relationship with each other and neither of us has any desire to swing.
Q16: If I can’t see more revealing pics, will you please tell me more about your body? A: Ok, i am being generous with that question, more often than not the question is phrased differently, like “How big are those titties” or “Is your pussy smooth or what?” So, i will do my best to describe my body here, for those of You who do not like to imagine what is concealed in my pics. ;-P
i am 5’ 4” and i weigh 135 lbs, give or take 5 pounds or so. i have brown hair and eyes. my skin tans nicely but is also lightly freckled, more so in the summer, thanks to my Irish/Italian heritage. Most of my time in the sun is spent nude thanks to the seclusion afforded my Husband and me by our 40 acre property, so the tan lines visible in the images i share are no longer as defined as they used to be, however my 34D breasts (i do have a couple 36C bras that fit too) do tend to create some less tan flesh beneath them, since while doing yard work or throwing the Frisbee naked, gravity does has a significant effect on them.
my nipples are light tan and not particularly long, even when hard. my areolas are slightly oval in a north-south direction and are about the size of a half dollar and very light, just a slight shade darker than my breasts and not particularly defined. They tend to be very sensitive particularly around my period. my flesh has no tattoos and my only piercings are the single holes in each of my ears.
my sex has been kept hairless for well over a decade now. Because an online Master had instructed me to tweeze hairs individually for Him, i discovered that i liked how long the tweezed hair took to grow back and over time the hair became thinner and easier to remove. At this point it is very easy to maintain myself hairless with regular brief tweezing sessions, but when life gets too busy i will sometimes run a razor over the area in the shower while shaving my legs to maintain my smooth appearance. While the initial tweezing was to please an online Master and His preference for how my sex should look, my Husband (he also shaves from an inch or so above his cock down over his balls) and i discovered how much more we enjoyed sex (both oral and intercourse) without any hair getting in our way, so we keep ourselves smooth for our pleasure.
my sex is fortunately very quick to lubricate (but i do not squirt), saving us a fortune in lube costs every year, LOL. my clit is fairly small but very sensitive, and my lips are very tight to my body, even when swollen. My vagina is fairly shallow, so even my Husband’s six inches can cause me discomfort if He thrusts too hard and deep in certain positions, pressing against my cervix. If He were any larger He would not be able to sink himself fully inside me, so it works out nicely that He isn’t hung like a porn star!
Orgasm comes very easily to me when my clit is getting direct stimulation, but also through intercourse which yields a more fulfilling, layered orgasm, particularly when the intercourse is combined with some light pain, typically achieved through firmly pinching and lightly tugging and twisting my nipples or spanking my ass when He is fucking me from behind. i most frequently orgasm from intercourse when i am being fucked from behind (doggie style is my favorite position for this reason) or when i am on top but the occasional orgasm results when i am being fucked missionary as well. i have never had anal sex, there is really no interest for me or hubby, but i have inserted items in my ass for online Dom/mes as instructed (vibe, finger, empty beer bottle, veggies). i was 16 the first time i sucked a cock and 17 the first time i was fucked. i have been with only 6 different men and fucked only 3 of them.
Q17 What do you want to do for me? What would you do for me? What will you do for me? A: This is a big pet peeve of mine, it feels like a passive aggressive way of getting me to role play by asking me to describe what i would do if we were to role play. i find it pointless to discuss the future in hypotheticals, since if we actually do role play in the future, we will have already determined in detail what is going to happen, therefore the excitement and mystery is removed, essentially making the role play predetermined and boring. If You are looking for examples of what might occur during role play, see the snapshots i have included in my blog at https://xhamster.com/posts/323997 which should paint a picture for You.
Q18: Why don’t you want to be my friend / Why did you decline my friend request? A: This one is a long answer, that’s why it is last. There are so many reasons why i decline friend requests. Hopefully this will help to clarify.
i decline 99% of friend requests that come through from people i do not know without a message indicating why You would like to be friends with me (more than just "Hi" or "Wanna do me?"). It is important to note that any messages or comments should be left BEFORE You send me a friend request, or i might reject the invite before i hear from You! The most common reason that i reject an invite is quite simply that we do not know each other and therefore are not friends. We have had very little or no personal communication (private message or comment on one of my pics for example) and i do not know who You are. Another reason for declining a friend invite would be that You have too many friends (in my opinion) and look like a friend collector. Over 500 friends is a huge red flag to me (who has the time to keep up with that many people?), or more friends than the number of days you have been on xHam. It was once my personal goal to have fewer than 50 “friends” here (which i later modified to a more realistic goal of maintaining my friends number at 69, one of my favorite numbers), so i am very selective about which invites i accept.
If You really want to be my friend, a good start would be leaving comments on my images or blogs so i know why You are interested. Even if You are not commenting on what i share, i expect to see that You are commenting on something, if You have been here for 500 days and left ******* comments, my first impression will be that You are a lazy “taker” and likely won’t give much in return. A rule of thumb for me is if Your number of days here is higher than Your number of comments, then i am less likely to accept Your invitation.
i do look at profiles of people who request friendship and if i see my photo gallery or one of my blogs in Your favorites there is a much better chance that i will accept Your friendship offer. If You have no content or shared favorites that might show me we are into the same things, i will typically reject the invite. Often i receive a friend request from someone who has likely reviewed the info i share publicly, but they only share their info with friends, so i accept their invite and review what they share to see if we have interests in common, if not i immediately remove the friend connection. i will also remove friends periodically when i feel like we aren’t really communicating as regularly as friends normally due (no fault here, just neither one of us is initiating conversation), but that doesn’t mean i am not happy to stay in touch via messages here.
This brings up an interesting topic, it seems many folks on xHamster do not know that their favorites are not visible to others. To check, go to “My Links” then “Settings” to see what You are sharing with folks who look at Your profile. For example, Show My Profile, Show My Favorite Videos, Show My Favorite Photos & Galleries and Show My Favorite Posts & Stories are all set on my profile to “For All.” For images or videos You share, You would need to set the Privacy setting to “Public” for all to be able to see, or “For Friends Only” if You prefer to share the item only with Your friends.
With all this said, if i reject Your friend invite, i am not necessarily rejecting You, i am simply saying that i see no reason to be linked together as “friends” on xHamster. i may still enjoy chatting with You and keeping in touch. :-) –nadia
9 år sedan
Thanks Hun.
