()look at that I just seen that Don Jon movie and I had to come back!

Hey u all! I haven't been on in a while becuz this site ain't iPhone friendly...
I got some pics i wanna post but can't right now.

my hormones are escalating
as i watch the imprint of ur dick
growing down ur thigh
penetrating
your denims
wishing i was in 'em

my eyes linger imagining
how would it feel to hit it
lick it
kiss it
suck it
the truth is i want to fuck it
fuck you

but our relationship is new...
right?

i exhale
two inches from ur lips
my hips
curl into ur dick
and i feel ur throbbing head
pressing against my clit

!
my tits
are tingling
co-mingling
with my libido
this is a conspiracy
im sure you know
your theory
is working

softly i exhale
not remembering if i ever inhaled
but what the hell
your smell
is making me cum
closer
to you
but i cant submit to my appetite

because our relationship is new right?

your tounge emerges
filling the gap between our lips
pulling me closer
you sit

i staddle your lap
were face to face
our rapid breaths chasing one another
while my pussy secretly keeps the pace
quietly
i want to be ur lover

you ease my dress over my hips
over my head
then toss it next to us
on your bed
your lips caress my nipples
at the same time
your head presses against my clit
and my pussy dribbles
onto ur denims
wising i was in em

i exhale
not remembering if i ever inhaled
but what the hell
im feeling you
damn
what should i do

our relationship is new
right?

i lose focus
my pussy is tight

i cant wait another minute
to hit it
lick it
kiss it
suck it

its time
aw, yeah
its time for me
for me to
fuck you
all right?
im taking your dick out of your pants
and into my hands
i want you so damn bad, man

my hips curl you into
my vagina
i exhale
aw
yes
um-hum
not remembering if i ever inhaled

your dick is the best
i say taking control
leading you way down inside my soul

i fuck you nice and slow
then ride you hard-core

squeezing teasing and pleasing
until you explode like a rocket
deep inside my pulsating pussy pocket

seems like we cum forever....

Thanks for adding me. Leave a comment when u stop by please.

and
if you have no pic i wont add


D.

im single tonite!

my hormones are escalating
as i watch the imprint of ur dick
growing down ur thigh
penetrating
your denims
wishing i was in 'em

my eyes linger imagining
how would it feel to hit it
lick it
kiss it
suck it
the truth is i want to fuck it
fuck you

but our relationship is new...
right?

i exhale
two inches from ur lips
my hips
curl into ur dick
and i feel ur throbbing head
pressing against my clit

!
my tits
are tingling
co-mingling
with my libido
this is a conspiracy
im sure you know
your theory
is working

softly i exhale
not remembering if i ever inhaled
but what the hell
your smell
is making me cum
closer
to you
but i cant submit to my appetite

because our relationship is new right?

your tounge emerges
filling the gap between our lips
pulling me closer
you sit

i staddle your lap
were face to face
our rapid breaths chasing one another
while my pussy secretly keeps the pace
quietly
i want to be ur lover

you ease my dress over my hips
over my head
then toss it next to us
on your bed
your lips caress my nipples
at the same time
your head presses against my clit
and my pussy dribbles
onto ur denims
wising i was in em

i exhale
not remembering if i ever inhaled
but what the hell
im feeling you
damn
what should i do

our relationship is new
right?

i lose focus
my pussy is tight

i cant wait another minute
to hit it
lick it
kiss it
suck it

its time
aw, yeah
its time for me
for me to
fuck you
all right?
im taking your dick out of your pants
and into my hands
i want you so damn bad, man

my hips curl you into
my vagina
i exhale
aw
yes
um-hum
not remembering if i ever inhaled

your dick is the best
i say taking control
leading you way down inside my soul

i fuck you nice and slow
then ride you hard-core

squeezing teasing and pleasing
until you explode like a rocket
deep inside my pulsating pussy pocket

seems like we cum forever....

Hello good people first off i wanna thank yall for for the love but right now i have a problem and after seein a few other pages i know im not alone with this issue, what is it?

Dick avatars if u wanna add me its cool but i dont want dicks on my page so you most likely will get rejected this also applies to those with no pics at all.

have fun....

please comment

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day
he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the
dealer. After he picks out the perfect bike, the dealer tells
him about an old biker trick that will keep the chrome on his
new bike free from rust. The dealer tells him that all he has to
do is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome
before it rains, and everything will be fine. He happily pays
for the bike and leaves.

A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in
love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over
dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed
time, he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her
parent’s house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have
a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must
do the dishes. After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence
waiting for the first person to break the silence and get stuck
doing the dishes.

After a long minutes, the young man decides to speed
things up, so he reaches over and kisses his woman in front of
her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he slips his hand
under her blouse and fondles her breasts. Still no one says a
word. Finally, he throws her on the table and has sex with her
in front of everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting
desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table.
They have even wilder sex. Still no one speaks. By now he is
thinking what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance.
His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he
gets his jacket, reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of
Vaseline. The father says, "Okay, okay, I'll do the dishes!"

Pfizer corp. announced that viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one... Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails" and "highballs." Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: mount & do


A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs.""Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians.

And they all attacked at one time. And he every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."


A masked gunman walks into a sperm bank, he points the gun at the woman behind the counter and tells her to drink the sample in front of her, the woman confused asked what? The man puts the gun to her head and says "I said drink that sample or I’ll you, so she does. Just then he takes off his mask and says "see honey its not so bad."

An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes, the old man cane slips on the floor and he falls.

As he gets up, a , sitting nearby turns to him and says, “ Sir if you put
a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."

The old man snaps back, “Well, if your daddy did the same thing ago, I would have a seat today

A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and
she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand
and asks the man, ''Sir, how old do you think I am''? The man
replies ''You're 30, right?'' She says ''No, I'm 47, but nice
try.'' The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her
lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ''How old do you
think I am?'' The man replies, You're 37, right?'' The lady
says ''No, I'm 47, but good guess.'' After lunch, she gets on
the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He
replies ''Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my
hand down her panties.'' So, quietly and quickly, she lets him
do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ''You're 47!'' The
lady, astonished, asks, ''How did you know?'' The old man
replies ''I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.''


A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the
fire truck when he notices a next door. The is
in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is
wearing a Firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The firefighter says "Hey, , whatcha doing?" The little
girl says, "I'm a firefighter and this is my Fire truck!"
The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. ", that
sure is a nice fire truck!" the firefighter says. "Thanks, mister" says the
. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the little
girl had tied the wagon to the dog's testicles. "" says the firefighter "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster." The says "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren.

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room
Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room
Marriage- When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room

Love- When intercourse is called making love
Lust- When intercourse in called screwing
Marriage- When intercourse is a little town in Pennsylvania

Love- When you argue over how many to have
Lust- When you argue over who gets the wet spot
Marriage- When you argue over whose idea it was to have

Love- When you share everything you own
Lust- When you steal everything they own
Marriage- When the bank owns everything

Love- When it doesn't matter if you don't climax
Lust- When the relationship is over if you don't climax
Marriage- When.... uh.... what's a climax

Love- When your heart flutters every time you see them
Lust- When your groin twitches every time you see them
Marriage- When your wallet empties every time you see them

Love- When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel
Lust- When all the songs on the radio determine how you do it
Marriage- When you listen to talk radio

Love- When breaking up is something you try not to think about
Lust- When staying together is something you try not to think about
Marriage- When just getting through the day is your only thought

Love- When you’re only interested in doing things with your partner
Lust- When you’re only interested in doing things TO your partner
Marriage- When you’re only interested in your golf score

Love- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk
Lust- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex
Marriage- When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement

Love- You only leave the house for coffee and doughnuts
Lust- You only leave the house for condoms and vaseline
Marriage- You only leave the house when you’re allowed

Not Really!!!!!! I had to repost this cause you guys just don't understand

Thanks for adding me. Leave a comment when u stop by please.

and
if you have no pic i wont add


D.

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office...Unless we are all cool with it.

9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition, ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT SYSTEM.

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "craazy bread."

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If asked "Would you like drinks with that?", panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.

29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

39. Play a porno real loud in the background.

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

42. Ask to see a menu.

43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
to complain about service. Later, call to say you were and didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

66. Be vague in your order.

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

74. Detect the order taker's psychic XXX it to your advantage.

75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

79. Put them on hold.

80. Teach the order taker a scret XXX the code on all subsequent orders.

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

87. Order term life insurance.

88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

90. Ask how many dolphins were to make that pizza.

91. While on the phone, fake entering . Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OWWW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is you.

96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

97. Order a steamed pizza.

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, 100. Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."

Hello friends new ones and old, thanks for adding me and sending me comments alot of you i may have chatted with personally and played wall tag but i have been so tied up lately i cant get back to you all

i apologize cuz i know you may think i been ignoring you but im not.

so here is some F.A.Q's i get:


How I been?-----------------------Fine

What I been up to?----------------workin

Still shakin ass--------------------yes

can u fuck me-----------------------???

can u have my msn?-------------------i dont use it

am i horny----------------------------always

am i touching myself------------------most likley



thats just a few....

In the Garden of Eden,
as everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
without any clothes.

In this garden,
were two little leaves,
one covered Adam's,
one covered Eve's.

As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
the wind came along,
and blew the leaves away.

At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve's treasure,
All covered with hair.

And wonder came,
Under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing,
started to rise.

They found a spot,
that suited them best,
a nice big tree,
where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider,
and wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.

The head of Adam's thing,
Peeked into the hole,
and filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.

Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve's treasure,
was all wet inside.

The joy was good,
She wouldn't let loose,
Until Adam's thing,
Was all out of juice.

Then down through the years,
People did screw,
and now it is time,
for me and you.

So pull down your pants,
and lay in the grass,
because I'm in the mood,
for a piece of that ASS!

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day,
anal sex makes your hole weak.

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but can't eat it.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.

What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Money.

What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
It's not hard.

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
She is the one who can eat the last donut!

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches.

c ya later

[header]If you notice i am looking for women [/header]
So how come i have friend requests from nothing but men?

but i may add you if you got something i want to see.

I really dont like talking to dicks so please dont put them on my page

please comment

check out saschma's profile!!!!!