The Difficult and Painful Road To Self Acceptance
I grew up always having one of the tiniest cocks in any group of guys I was in. As a result I suffered a lot of ridicule, humiliation, and name calling; which of course did wonders to my self confidence, self esteem, and feelings of self worth. I actually began to wonder if I was truly a male or just a poor imitation of one. If it hadn't been for baseball, where I was one of the best players, I probably would have become even more depressed. It was on the ball field where I felt equal to or even better than other guys. I actually felt good and positive about myself! Still I was painfully shy around girls, and had trouble asking them out. I always feared that if I got close to one, I wondered what they would think and say about "My little guy" Would they laugh, call me names, and even worse tell everyone how truly small I was - side note my flaccid cock measured a little under .25", and my erection was a little over 3" with a very thin girth. Even with my fears I managed to have 2 steady girlfriends in high school.
But for me the tide really began to turn when I met the girl who was to be my first wife. She totally accepted me small cock and all! Our sex life was fantastic, and with her help, support, and positive reinforcement I began to gain self confidence, self esteem, and positive feelings of self worth outside of baseball. She always made me feel like I was a total male in all aspects. She was always positive and telling about my abilities as a good lover and good sexual partner! She even remained positive while helping me overcome my initial premature ejaculation problem that plagued our early sex life. We continually talked and experimented regarding ways to improve our sex life - this continued into our marriage. It was here that I learned the value of foreplay, and began to develop the talent of reading the subtle signs a woman's body transmits and started to learn the glorious art of cunnilingus and how to use my hands, fingers, and other body parts to please my Lady! Everything was going great, our family was growing , a son and daughter. This all changed with the sudden death of our 6 month old daughter from SIDS, The grief began to pull us apart instead of further solidifying our relationship and bond, Eventually after 7 1/2 years we divorced.
A couple of years latter I rebounded into my second marriage; with this one I wasn't as lucky. Before we got married my future wife said that the size of my cock was no problem; in fact she said she actually preferred small ones. This attitude did a total 180 almost immediately after we were married. She started calling me a loser and pathetic, and a total waste as a man, if I could actually be called one, and lover My only positive qualities were that I made good money with great health insurance, and that as a sexual partner my only redeeming quality was my ability to go down on her and satisfy her. This soon become our only sexual activity; I would go down on her and make her climax until she had had enough. Then she might or might not masturbate me to my own climax. Before we were married she had taken pictures of me nude including many closeups of my flaccid and erect cock and balls saying that they were for her pleasure. Shortly after we were married I found out that in fact she was giving these photos to friends. from several different sources. First her 17 year old daughter told me that her mother had given her and her friends nude photos of me and my cock. Than a few of the mothers of boys on the traveling all star baseball team I was coaching approached me to tell me that they had received revealing photos of me in the mail, and they could tell by the hand writing that I had not sent them. When I confronted my wife about the photos she first denied any knowledge as to how they got out. When I showed her one of the envelopes and told her that I recognized her hand writing; she laughed and confessed that she had sent them and was also giving them to all her friends and even some teens that she knew through her daughter and oldest son. Her next gambit to further humiliate me was to orchestrate scenarios where I would be caught naked by her friends. She would time these "parties" to coincide with times when she knew I would be in the shower. For example after a game or practice; she would make sure I had no access to my clothes and only a towel to cover myself. Several times she invited her daughter and her friends and other teens she knew; even some of her friends would bring their teen daughters and their friends to these "parties." I found out latter that some of the teens were as young as 12. These things began to chip away at my self confidence, self esteem, and self worth, but before they could totally destroyed any gains I had made and after 5 of her "parties" I moved in with a buddy until I bought my own house. At the same time I also filed for a divorce, and after almost 4 years the divorce was final! You're probably wondering why I stuck around so long and suffered the abuse; well it was because of our son born a month after we were married. She had told me she was on the pill, but I latter found out from her daughter that she couldn't take the pill for medical reasons. But we were already married when I found this out, and her pregnancy was one of the main reasons I married her. After almost 4 years the divorce was final. I guess this just goes to show what a total fool I was!
Slowly after the divorce I began to date again, and as soon as it became evident that I was running into the major groups of woman (simplified for my purposes). As soon as the relationship seemed to have reached the point of eminent intimacy, but before we actually became intimate; I would tell the woman and usually show her my small cock. This revealed the first type of the woman - one who would end our relationship right then. Others would allow the relationship to become intimate. Here again the women would split into the other other two groups. The first of these two groups would after we became intimate would start to make fun of me and try to humiliate me. Maybe not at first, but it would eventually start. As soon as the SPH started I would actually get dressed and leave if I was at their house or ask them to leave if they were at my house. But I'd always explain why I was doing this. Than there was the third group of woman who made no comment and let the relationship continue and possibly grow. While I didn't find a long term partner many of these woman became at least short term girl friends.
The positive reinforcement I received from these relationship slowly began to repair my psyche. I can't really say when my final epiphany occurred; because it happened slowly over a period of time. But as I grew older and hopefully wiser the proverbial light bulb went off over my rock head. I finally realized that I'm a MAN with a tiny micro-cock, but the size of my cock doesn't DEFINE me as a MAN; nor does it in anyway AFFECT my MASCULINITY or STATUS as a MAN! I now understood that there was nothing I could do to make myself larger; that it was just the way I am for whatever reason. I had arrived at a major Crossroads in my life! 1) I could take one road and continue to wallow in self pity and hide behind my size continuing to shy away from anything more than a platonic relationship with a woman. Thus allowing my size to CONTROL MY LIFE! Or 2) I could take the other road accept the fact that I was small and TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE. I choose to take and follow the second road! Almost as soon as I made my choice I could feel my self confidence, self esteem, and self worth began to grow more and more positive; until I reached a point of actual pride and self acceptance! With this new found pride I felt a feeling of self empowerment, I no longer tried to hide "My little guy". With these new feelings I realized that if anyone has a Problem with the size of my cock that it is their Problem, and I totally Refuse to ACCEPT any Ownership of their Problem. Now if someone were to say to me : "Boy your cock is really tiny! ....." (fill in the rest). I'll answer : " Yeah, he may be tiny, but you better believe that HE'S DAMN MIGHTY!"
This has been my long arduous journey to "SELF ACCEPTANCE". It has been fraught with stops and starts, advances and retreats, and feelings of being defeated and feelings of hope! But I'm glad I took it; because I really believe that it has made me a better and stronger MAN! Guys, just remember that you aren't the only male with a tiny cock, and that we tiny guys must stick together! I hope my confession has in some little way has given you hope and the realization that there is a road to "SELF ACCEPTANCE" and that it is totally your choice! As Mark Twain once said : "A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval!" Good luck my friend.
Peace, tinycock47 "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I need to be." - Douglas Adams
But for me the tide really began to turn when I met the girl who was to be my first wife. She totally accepted me small cock and all! Our sex life was fantastic, and with her help, support, and positive reinforcement I began to gain self confidence, self esteem, and positive feelings of self worth outside of baseball. She always made me feel like I was a total male in all aspects. She was always positive and telling about my abilities as a good lover and good sexual partner! She even remained positive while helping me overcome my initial premature ejaculation problem that plagued our early sex life. We continually talked and experimented regarding ways to improve our sex life - this continued into our marriage. It was here that I learned the value of foreplay, and began to develop the talent of reading the subtle signs a woman's body transmits and started to learn the glorious art of cunnilingus and how to use my hands, fingers, and other body parts to please my Lady! Everything was going great, our family was growing , a son and daughter. This all changed with the sudden death of our 6 month old daughter from SIDS, The grief began to pull us apart instead of further solidifying our relationship and bond, Eventually after 7 1/2 years we divorced.
A couple of years latter I rebounded into my second marriage; with this one I wasn't as lucky. Before we got married my future wife said that the size of my cock was no problem; in fact she said she actually preferred small ones. This attitude did a total 180 almost immediately after we were married. She started calling me a loser and pathetic, and a total waste as a man, if I could actually be called one, and lover My only positive qualities were that I made good money with great health insurance, and that as a sexual partner my only redeeming quality was my ability to go down on her and satisfy her. This soon become our only sexual activity; I would go down on her and make her climax until she had had enough. Then she might or might not masturbate me to my own climax. Before we were married she had taken pictures of me nude including many closeups of my flaccid and erect cock and balls saying that they were for her pleasure. Shortly after we were married I found out that in fact she was giving these photos to friends. from several different sources. First her 17 year old daughter told me that her mother had given her and her friends nude photos of me and my cock. Than a few of the mothers of boys on the traveling all star baseball team I was coaching approached me to tell me that they had received revealing photos of me in the mail, and they could tell by the hand writing that I had not sent them. When I confronted my wife about the photos she first denied any knowledge as to how they got out. When I showed her one of the envelopes and told her that I recognized her hand writing; she laughed and confessed that she had sent them and was also giving them to all her friends and even some teens that she knew through her daughter and oldest son. Her next gambit to further humiliate me was to orchestrate scenarios where I would be caught naked by her friends. She would time these "parties" to coincide with times when she knew I would be in the shower. For example after a game or practice; she would make sure I had no access to my clothes and only a towel to cover myself. Several times she invited her daughter and her friends and other teens she knew; even some of her friends would bring their teen daughters and their friends to these "parties." I found out latter that some of the teens were as young as 12. These things began to chip away at my self confidence, self esteem, and self worth, but before they could totally destroyed any gains I had made and after 5 of her "parties" I moved in with a buddy until I bought my own house. At the same time I also filed for a divorce, and after almost 4 years the divorce was final! You're probably wondering why I stuck around so long and suffered the abuse; well it was because of our son born a month after we were married. She had told me she was on the pill, but I latter found out from her daughter that she couldn't take the pill for medical reasons. But we were already married when I found this out, and her pregnancy was one of the main reasons I married her. After almost 4 years the divorce was final. I guess this just goes to show what a total fool I was!
Slowly after the divorce I began to date again, and as soon as it became evident that I was running into the major groups of woman (simplified for my purposes). As soon as the relationship seemed to have reached the point of eminent intimacy, but before we actually became intimate; I would tell the woman and usually show her my small cock. This revealed the first type of the woman - one who would end our relationship right then. Others would allow the relationship to become intimate. Here again the women would split into the other other two groups. The first of these two groups would after we became intimate would start to make fun of me and try to humiliate me. Maybe not at first, but it would eventually start. As soon as the SPH started I would actually get dressed and leave if I was at their house or ask them to leave if they were at my house. But I'd always explain why I was doing this. Than there was the third group of woman who made no comment and let the relationship continue and possibly grow. While I didn't find a long term partner many of these woman became at least short term girl friends.
The positive reinforcement I received from these relationship slowly began to repair my psyche. I can't really say when my final epiphany occurred; because it happened slowly over a period of time. But as I grew older and hopefully wiser the proverbial light bulb went off over my rock head. I finally realized that I'm a MAN with a tiny micro-cock, but the size of my cock doesn't DEFINE me as a MAN; nor does it in anyway AFFECT my MASCULINITY or STATUS as a MAN! I now understood that there was nothing I could do to make myself larger; that it was just the way I am for whatever reason. I had arrived at a major Crossroads in my life! 1) I could take one road and continue to wallow in self pity and hide behind my size continuing to shy away from anything more than a platonic relationship with a woman. Thus allowing my size to CONTROL MY LIFE! Or 2) I could take the other road accept the fact that I was small and TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE. I choose to take and follow the second road! Almost as soon as I made my choice I could feel my self confidence, self esteem, and self worth began to grow more and more positive; until I reached a point of actual pride and self acceptance! With this new found pride I felt a feeling of self empowerment, I no longer tried to hide "My little guy". With these new feelings I realized that if anyone has a Problem with the size of my cock that it is their Problem, and I totally Refuse to ACCEPT any Ownership of their Problem. Now if someone were to say to me : "Boy your cock is really tiny! ....." (fill in the rest). I'll answer : " Yeah, he may be tiny, but you better believe that HE'S DAMN MIGHTY!"
This has been my long arduous journey to "SELF ACCEPTANCE". It has been fraught with stops and starts, advances and retreats, and feelings of being defeated and feelings of hope! But I'm glad I took it; because I really believe that it has made me a better and stronger MAN! Guys, just remember that you aren't the only male with a tiny cock, and that we tiny guys must stick together! I hope my confession has in some little way has given you hope and the realization that there is a road to "SELF ACCEPTANCE" and that it is totally your choice! As Mark Twain once said : "A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval!" Good luck my friend.
Peace, tinycock47 "I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I need to be." - Douglas Adams
11 年 前
It's good to hear that it is possible to find positive reenforcement out there, as that is something I am trying to do more, but not without my good share of fears of rejection and possible humiliation.