I hate intercourse

Cross-posted from Vickie P.'s Blog

Note: You should probably read this piece's sister essay, "I hate foreplay," before reading this one.

I hate intercourse.

Don't get me wrong. I love screwing. I love having part of my man inside me -- his beautiful penis in my pussy. I love the way he moves, making me feel good, making himself feel good. I love to touch my clit as he fills me, making myself feel even better. I love when he explodes, leaving his juice in my pussy.

What I dislike is the assumption that all heterosexual activity will result in penis-vaginal intercourse. The idea that if you haven't had intercourse, you haven't had sex. (This dutiful doing-it-because-you're-supposed-to is what I call intercourse. When you're doing it because you want to, that I call screwing.)

So, I've let The Boyfriend know that when we get into bed:

* Screwing is not guaranteed.
* His orgasm is not guaranteed (but mine is).


The first rule ensures that we keep in mind that sex encompasses acts other than intercourse, and we only screw when we both really want to. Now, since The Boyfriend wants to screw every time we get in bed, that means, by necessity, that I have veto power.

The second rule comes about because of the facts of life:

* Time for sexual activity is finite.
* Most women don't have an orgasm from intercourse (or screwing) alone.


Sooner or later, we all have to get out of bed to go to work, care for family members, do chores, etc. So, in my limited time for sex, I can:

A. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then screw The Boyfriend (or give him a blowjob or a handjob), so he gets to come, or
B. Have x orgasms from sexual activities that make me come, then deny The Boyfriend an orgasm and have y more orgasms in that time myself.


Now, most of the time, I'm a considerate and caring lover and go for option A. But sometimes, I get greedy and go for option B. I get to masturbate, receive cunnilingus, screw him if I want, have as many orgasms as I want, but he doesn't get to come if I don't let him. I have to admit it's a turn-on when I have been satisfied with multiple orgasms and I see his erect penis twitching and aching to come.

If I deny him an orgasm, he's on his honor not to give himself one for at least 24 hours thereafter. If I catch him breaking this rule, I may have to apply a male chastity device to his penis

I don't believe in retributive justice for a whole gender, but I would point out that, for centuries, when a man and woman got in bed, the man was assured of having an orgasm, but the woman wasn't. In our relationship, anyway, that paradigm is reversed.

You may call me a femdom (or worse). You may call what we do a female-led relationship, or orgasm control, or orgasm denial, but it works for us.
Published by vickiep
6 years ago
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83
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 month ago
to edintx99 : Thanks for the advice. I have a long-term boyfriend, and we’re doing fine. 
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edintx99
edintx99 1 month ago
It's good you know what you want. But with so many rules, you need a boy toy and not a boy friend. Best wishes. 
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buford01 4 months ago
Your body and mind so it is your rules. I admit that I am too much of a slut for both of us or the more of us to not have as many orgasms as we all can every time.
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 5 months ago
to jamci : I certainly agree that mutual satisfaction is the most important thing. Luckily my bf is ok with my rules. He is satisfied even if he doesn’t get to have an orgasm or intercourse every time. 
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jamci 5 months ago
I think I agree with you. Although probably not completely. But I respect what you say or rather write. The most important thing is that both are satisfied and fully satisfied being together.
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 10 months ago
to panzade : Thanks! 
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panzade
panzade 10 months ago
Common sense post… I have to agree
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FlintSteele
We start most sex with oral sex. My partner comes so hard when she sits on my face. The longer it takes, the more anticipation it builds in me. I don't always get to cum, but I have never been actively denied, maybe thats something to explore
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jojosmallone
jojosmallone 1 year ago
to vickiep : i love to be watched giving oral but haven't been in a long time.
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 year ago
to jojosmallone : Ok, that’s cool. I hope interested women sometimes get to watch. 
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 year ago
to jojosmallone : That works, too.
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jojosmallone
jojosmallone 1 year ago
to vickiep : but i have always love to eat pussy even thougfh now i mostly just suck dicks. I guess sort of a natural progression from being a submissive cuckold and clean up boi to being a dick sucking sissy
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jojosmallone
jojosmallone 1 year ago
to vickiep : i don't see myself as a good man but do see my self as a good obedient submissive sissy
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 year ago
to jojosmallone : That’s hot. You’re a good man.
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jojosmallone
jojosmallone 1 year ago
intercourse was always secondary with me and the women i had sex with. Giving them oral and pleasing them with my mouth, lips, tongue and fingers (and even dildos)  was much more fun and some of the best sex i ever had.
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Lovethegirls69
Lovethegirls69 1 year ago
to vickiep : Thats what i keep thinking, but not yet:smile:
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 year ago
to Lovethegirls69 : Omg, that’s hot. Some woman would be lucky to have you. 
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Lovethegirls69
Lovethegirls69 1 year ago
I absolutely love to pleasure a woman and make her cum as many times as possible. That in itself turns me on. I can always cum later.
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 year ago
to Naughtynev69 : Glad you like it. 
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Naughtynev69
Naughtynev69 1 year ago
Yummy
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 1 year ago
to dreddlock : Good man. 
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dreddlock 1 year ago
I agree with you.  I want to fuck 2/3 times a day too.  but I also would rather have my partner cum than me.  it turns me on so much to give pleasure to someone especially someone I love.  to make someone I am intimate with, cum, is what is all about.  
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 2 years ago
to hankypankie : I know what I need. 
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hankypankie
hankypankie 2 years ago
Wake up to yourself you need a red hot up your cunt 
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 3 years ago
I know you’re empowered woman. I’m glad you agree. 
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 3 years ago
You are a sexy couple. Love you. 
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nightwatchranger
nightwatchranger 4 years ago
That's what we're here for!
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Scotsman4bbw
Scotsman4bbw 4 years ago
to vickiep : Indeed they do, any man that has a playbook and thinks its a one size fits all is deluding himself. The reward is great though.
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vickiep
vickiep Publisher 4 years ago
to Scotsman4bbw : Good man. Women's orgasms are mysteries that repay much study.
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Scotsman4bbw
Scotsman4bbw 4 years ago
As much as I do like to cum, I don't have to always cum to enjoy myself. In the past I've put myself in situations, where I was quite happy just to take care of the needs of a partner at the time. No intercourse, just there to her off. Not going to lie its not something I could live with all the time, but sometimes if I've been single for a while I do just miss a woman's orgasm. I love the exploration, finding out what makes her tick, showing her that I have been paying attention to the subtle clues exhibited by her body. Its a thrill finding the keys to unlock, and a huge satisfying experience for me when she has had an orgasm. 
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