Who Am I?
Who am I? How did I get into the position I’m in? I’m not being specific here, I’m talking in generalities. I suppose it is true, we are the product of everything we’ve thought and done or not done throughout out lives. Mine has not been particularly exemplary. My life seems to be full of those little and not so little things that have shaped me. So, let me be more specific….
I was particularly naive about my sexuality at a young age. It was all rather mixed up in my mind. There were so many conflicting drivers that were pushing me one way, then another.
I’m not sure what events took place when, I’m not sure the order of these events really matters. There are flashbacks that come to mind: The sexuality with my young friend who introduced me to jerking off and the feel of someone else’s cock as I made him cum; I had discovered what it was like to shoot a load of cum. I think i masturbated every night of my teen years. The linoleum on my bedroom floor was spotted with a multitude of splats where cum had flown from my almost always hard dick. There were additional cum spats on my floor that were put there by my friends when we jerked off together. At the time, there were no homosexual tendencies. It was simply a contest to see who could shoot the farthest. I was somewhere in the middle when it came to distance. The mattress near my left hand side near my hip was a mass of cum that had sunk in over the years of nightly jerkoffs. These were the days when I would jerkoff 2 or 3 times a day.
There is the image of my own father sleeping naked in his bed. He was on his side and all I could see was his ass and his huge balls tucked back between his legs. There was nothing of his dick, but it didn’t matter, I had seen his balls and his ass and I had gotten hard immediately. My shorts were quickly wet with my precum. It was only that once I had had a peek at my father’s balls.
Now, my mother was a different story. I don’t think there was an ounce of shame in her. It was not uncommon for her to calmly walk around the house in only a thin bathrobe. There was no need to use the imagination to see what was there. Her breasts, the dark areola accentuating her hard nipples; and her dark-brown bushy pubic hair were quite visible through the ultra-thin material.
It was in my mother’s dresser drawers that I discovered the delights of panties, stockings, garterbelts, bras, girdles, and various sundry nighties. These undies and my grandmother’s were my first sexual fetish. I can’t count the times I would put on their undies when they were out for the day. I can tell you that there was a lot of sperm spilled on the floor because of all those feminine things.
Me and the neighborhood boys I hung around with discovered the real difference between boys and girls through the auspices of the younger sister of one of my friends in the neighborhood. She would take us behind the garage and pull down her panties to reveal her vulva, that glorious gash between a girls legs. She would let us run our hands over her pussy, but I don’t think there was anyone of the guys I hung out with who got to fuck her. Though later on after high school, I had heard that she had been caught by her parents putting out for one of the boys. She got pregnant. I heard that she had had it terminated soon after having missed her period.
It was in the stash of 8-pagers that my father had supposedly secreted away that I found the early examples of pornography and of course the depictions of fucking, and the bondage of women done in rough drawings. These little booklets were the source of many a jerkoff session for me in my early teens and even later.
There were those little secret session where boys will get together and compare notes. There is always talk of which girl is putting out, as if we would ever approach such a girl. We were way out of her class. We were either too young or just too juvenile, or both. Mostly it was because the crowd I hung out with was not part of the crowd that had the girls in it.
Then there is the time I discovered the quickest way to make my own dick hard and get some quick relief. I found that if I grasped the frenulum of my dick (that ridge of skin that is just behind and below the head of your dick) with my thumb and my index finger I had tremendous control over my dick. I could roll the skin between my fingers, then and I could shake my dick vigorously by grasping the frenulum. It was an almost instant erection. It took only moments for my dick to become rock hard. I could then continue to shake my dick (the biggest disavantage of this is that a lot of precum flies everywhere), or stroke it until I had a nice cum load. At the time, and even now when I do it, it isn’t about lasting for a long time, it’s about bringing that load of cum up from my balls and out into the world.
When I was younger, I wasted a lot of cum on the floor or in tissues. Now, since I have developed a taste for cum, all my cum loads go from hand to mouth. Of course, any extraneous cum, whether its on panties, the floor, someones pussy, or ass I make it a point to lick it ALL up. I don’t want to waste another drop of that precious fluid.
It was in my later teens that I discovered the pleasure of being a cocksucking sissy faggot. I sucked a LOT of great cock during those years. I had the pleasure of swallowing a LOT of cum. I could never get enough. Truth be told, to this day, I can’t get enough cum. I crave it like the d**g it is…at least to me and several other cocksuckers I know.
All my life I have delved into the joys of wearing panties, lacy panties, satin panties, cotton panties, as well as any other lingerie I could get my hands on. Some of these items I swiped from various women, my wife, my mother, my grandmother, my daughter, and any number of the neighbor’s wives. That accounts for about a tenth of my stash. The remainder I have purchased on my own. This is a somewhat humiliating experience, but I force myself to get the things that feed my sexual fetishes.
You may ask what are my fetishes? The easy answer is women’s undergarments, and their sexy sleepwear. The other answer include: butt plugs, dildos, double-ended dildos, cock and ball rings, leather ball-splitters/cock rings. In the anal category I would also have to include in the butt plug arena the produce aisle in the supermarket where such things as zucchini, cucumbers, and squash can be used as in the place of some rubber/steel/glass item. The interesting part about produce is that the length and girth of the particular item varies greatly and is purchased depending on desire and the state of my asshole. My other fetishes include exhibitionism, cocksucking, getting my ass fucked, cock and ball vacuum pumping, and nipple pumping. Of course, there is the ever present internet now that we can rely on to provide some of the hottest pornography. My latest seems to be posting my own pictures of me dressed in panties, hose, bras, and nighties. There are also the clips of me that I’ve posted of me jerking off. I find it exciting just knowing that someone, even a stranger, is looking at my pics and my videos and jerking off to them. I can’t tell you the number of times I reviewed my own pictures and videos and jerked off and ate my cum. Or fucked my ass with a dildo or produce massaging my prostate creating even more precum oozing out than I usually create, and finally shoot a tremendous load of cum which I gobble up savoring every drop of my heavenly emissions.
There have been several women in my life, an ex-wife, two girl friends both of whom loved to fuck and suck, and my current wife of 39 years who, even though she has an atrophied vagina allows me to masturbate her to 6 or 7 orgasms, after which she allows me to penetrate her cunt at least for a few inches and spew my cum into her cunt which quickly overflows with my cum. Or if that is not how she feels, she will jerk me off usually into her sparse pubic hair. I love to then spread my cum all over her pubic area, here vulva, at up over her belly. It feels good to me, and she squeals with pleasure when my hot cum hits he pubic hair and my hand spreads my goo all over her. My only real disappointment is she will not allow me to lick up my cum from her body, especially her cunt. Oh well, at lest I got to defile her with my hot cum.
So, this who I was, who I am, and probably who I will be. If it involves my cock, my balls, and my cum, I’m happy happy happy.
I was particularly naive about my sexuality at a young age. It was all rather mixed up in my mind. There were so many conflicting drivers that were pushing me one way, then another.
I’m not sure what events took place when, I’m not sure the order of these events really matters. There are flashbacks that come to mind: The sexuality with my young friend who introduced me to jerking off and the feel of someone else’s cock as I made him cum; I had discovered what it was like to shoot a load of cum. I think i masturbated every night of my teen years. The linoleum on my bedroom floor was spotted with a multitude of splats where cum had flown from my almost always hard dick. There were additional cum spats on my floor that were put there by my friends when we jerked off together. At the time, there were no homosexual tendencies. It was simply a contest to see who could shoot the farthest. I was somewhere in the middle when it came to distance. The mattress near my left hand side near my hip was a mass of cum that had sunk in over the years of nightly jerkoffs. These were the days when I would jerkoff 2 or 3 times a day.
There is the image of my own father sleeping naked in his bed. He was on his side and all I could see was his ass and his huge balls tucked back between his legs. There was nothing of his dick, but it didn’t matter, I had seen his balls and his ass and I had gotten hard immediately. My shorts were quickly wet with my precum. It was only that once I had had a peek at my father’s balls.
Now, my mother was a different story. I don’t think there was an ounce of shame in her. It was not uncommon for her to calmly walk around the house in only a thin bathrobe. There was no need to use the imagination to see what was there. Her breasts, the dark areola accentuating her hard nipples; and her dark-brown bushy pubic hair were quite visible through the ultra-thin material.
It was in my mother’s dresser drawers that I discovered the delights of panties, stockings, garterbelts, bras, girdles, and various sundry nighties. These undies and my grandmother’s were my first sexual fetish. I can’t count the times I would put on their undies when they were out for the day. I can tell you that there was a lot of sperm spilled on the floor because of all those feminine things.
Me and the neighborhood boys I hung around with discovered the real difference between boys and girls through the auspices of the younger sister of one of my friends in the neighborhood. She would take us behind the garage and pull down her panties to reveal her vulva, that glorious gash between a girls legs. She would let us run our hands over her pussy, but I don’t think there was anyone of the guys I hung out with who got to fuck her. Though later on after high school, I had heard that she had been caught by her parents putting out for one of the boys. She got pregnant. I heard that she had had it terminated soon after having missed her period.
It was in the stash of 8-pagers that my father had supposedly secreted away that I found the early examples of pornography and of course the depictions of fucking, and the bondage of women done in rough drawings. These little booklets were the source of many a jerkoff session for me in my early teens and even later.
There were those little secret session where boys will get together and compare notes. There is always talk of which girl is putting out, as if we would ever approach such a girl. We were way out of her class. We were either too young or just too juvenile, or both. Mostly it was because the crowd I hung out with was not part of the crowd that had the girls in it.
Then there is the time I discovered the quickest way to make my own dick hard and get some quick relief. I found that if I grasped the frenulum of my dick (that ridge of skin that is just behind and below the head of your dick) with my thumb and my index finger I had tremendous control over my dick. I could roll the skin between my fingers, then and I could shake my dick vigorously by grasping the frenulum. It was an almost instant erection. It took only moments for my dick to become rock hard. I could then continue to shake my dick (the biggest disavantage of this is that a lot of precum flies everywhere), or stroke it until I had a nice cum load. At the time, and even now when I do it, it isn’t about lasting for a long time, it’s about bringing that load of cum up from my balls and out into the world.
When I was younger, I wasted a lot of cum on the floor or in tissues. Now, since I have developed a taste for cum, all my cum loads go from hand to mouth. Of course, any extraneous cum, whether its on panties, the floor, someones pussy, or ass I make it a point to lick it ALL up. I don’t want to waste another drop of that precious fluid.
It was in my later teens that I discovered the pleasure of being a cocksucking sissy faggot. I sucked a LOT of great cock during those years. I had the pleasure of swallowing a LOT of cum. I could never get enough. Truth be told, to this day, I can’t get enough cum. I crave it like the d**g it is…at least to me and several other cocksuckers I know.
All my life I have delved into the joys of wearing panties, lacy panties, satin panties, cotton panties, as well as any other lingerie I could get my hands on. Some of these items I swiped from various women, my wife, my mother, my grandmother, my daughter, and any number of the neighbor’s wives. That accounts for about a tenth of my stash. The remainder I have purchased on my own. This is a somewhat humiliating experience, but I force myself to get the things that feed my sexual fetishes.
You may ask what are my fetishes? The easy answer is women’s undergarments, and their sexy sleepwear. The other answer include: butt plugs, dildos, double-ended dildos, cock and ball rings, leather ball-splitters/cock rings. In the anal category I would also have to include in the butt plug arena the produce aisle in the supermarket where such things as zucchini, cucumbers, and squash can be used as in the place of some rubber/steel/glass item. The interesting part about produce is that the length and girth of the particular item varies greatly and is purchased depending on desire and the state of my asshole. My other fetishes include exhibitionism, cocksucking, getting my ass fucked, cock and ball vacuum pumping, and nipple pumping. Of course, there is the ever present internet now that we can rely on to provide some of the hottest pornography. My latest seems to be posting my own pictures of me dressed in panties, hose, bras, and nighties. There are also the clips of me that I’ve posted of me jerking off. I find it exciting just knowing that someone, even a stranger, is looking at my pics and my videos and jerking off to them. I can’t tell you the number of times I reviewed my own pictures and videos and jerked off and ate my cum. Or fucked my ass with a dildo or produce massaging my prostate creating even more precum oozing out than I usually create, and finally shoot a tremendous load of cum which I gobble up savoring every drop of my heavenly emissions.
There have been several women in my life, an ex-wife, two girl friends both of whom loved to fuck and suck, and my current wife of 39 years who, even though she has an atrophied vagina allows me to masturbate her to 6 or 7 orgasms, after which she allows me to penetrate her cunt at least for a few inches and spew my cum into her cunt which quickly overflows with my cum. Or if that is not how she feels, she will jerk me off usually into her sparse pubic hair. I love to then spread my cum all over her pubic area, here vulva, at up over her belly. It feels good to me, and she squeals with pleasure when my hot cum hits he pubic hair and my hand spreads my goo all over her. My only real disappointment is she will not allow me to lick up my cum from her body, especially her cunt. Oh well, at lest I got to defile her with my hot cum.
So, this who I was, who I am, and probably who I will be. If it involves my cock, my balls, and my cum, I’m happy happy happy.
10 years ago
