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jmcjboston
West Hollywood, United States
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Kickin' someone when they're down? 45 year old bully.

Why is it that when you finally stand at your ultimate low, the very definition of "rock bottom", and you're striving with every last breath to just push forward, upward, in a positive direction, that our fellow man tests us in the most condescending, and hateful manner that he can muster?

"I'm just trying to stand!", you exclaim, in some desperate cry for empathy over opression. Because it was out of nowhere that this individual made it a point to disrupt your natural flow, and positive vibrations. His attack is blatently an outward expression of how he feels about himself, but your not only too startled by this entirely uncalled for barrage of loathing, but you instantly know that nothing you say or do is going to cease his .

What, then, is your next move? In chess one would refer to which side of the board they were on, whether they would take the offense or stand the defense. Do you attack back? Why do I have to lower myself to that level now, when I don't want to hate, or judge, or feel any of those negative emotions? I shouldn't. But the axiom of survival is fight or flight. So run? Give up my ground, where a minute ago I was enjoying such peace and clarity. Now I'm into chaos and confusion. Yet, looking at it either way I'm entertaining the savage inside. I hit him, or choke him, and I'm no better the man. But I've never run from anything in my life. Especially when they have unwittingly backed me into a hypothetical corner.

No matter how much you strive to civilize your thoughts in those fleeting moments prior to the decision, it is ultimate. The reflex kicks in naturally against the physical being and you fight, or flee.

On one side I see myself just turning the cheek, and allowing him to wallow in his misery. Then the other, I grab him by the throat and squeeze. Knowing that the tables have turned, and I have conquered the mound over the alpha male. At what cost does each leave me? The former a lower self analysisfor the entire day and more, because those negative thoughts, or vibrations beget, or born more negative. In the latter, I manifest in self this false sense, or feeling of accomplishment which will become strikingly less attractive as the laws of Karma work their way. So what then...?

I took the best of both. I let go of his throat, and then left him to wallow in his sorrows!
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Jason Jarmacz
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