While you don’t want a lover to run hot and cold with your emotions, you might want your lover to run some hot and cold sensations across your skin! Temperature play is a sexy addition to your erotic toolkit.
Temperature play is a technique often used in intimate foreplay that uses heat or cold to stimulate the body. The neuroreceptors under the skin are activated and provoke a sensual reaction. Using heat and/or cold gives the body a rush of sensations that, during foreplay, is translated into arousal. Temperature play is especially fun when hot and cold are combined together with patterns for the receiver and the giver of this sensation play.
The juxtaposition of temperature is a fun way to explore a partner’s body and bring on new reactions. It’s also a great way to extend sex foreplay and even edge a partner into arousal that does not have to end in sex.
Examples of Temperature Play
- Use an ice cube to trace your partner’s body and see what level of arousal it brings over different areas of the body.
- Put a cold drink of ice water in your mouth and let it drip out onto your partner’s body.
- Use a low-temperature soy massage candle to oil the skin and prep for a sensual massage.
- Use a higher temperature body-safe candle to drip a design all over your lover’s body while they are in a light restraint. Find out which areas are more sensitive than others.
- Seduce your partner with a self-wax show—show them exactly where you want to be touched based on where you let the wax drip.
- Drip wax on the bottom of a lover’s feet, an area that is often missed in intimate play but that can have a very arousing response to heat.
- A Royal Fetish Favorite: Use both hot wax and an ice cube to deliver mixed sensations, sending your partner’s senses on overdrive trying to decide which is which and what they love the most.
Temperature play is fun when done properly and consensually, because it’s a way to enhance intimacy by way of trust, patience, and observation of your partner’s body. And knowing ways to turn on your body without directly touching genitals and or other erogenous zones can feel like a superpower.
How to Introduce Temperature Play
Temperature play requires a great deal of verbal and nonverbal communication and there is never a time when communication is not a win for interpersonal relationships. Anytime we are open to being vulnerable with our partners and adding new intimate experiences, we increase the likelihood of improving our sex life.
Every partner needs to know what activities you’re planning so that they can mentally and physically prepare and also give their full informed consent. You can describe to a partner what it is you are planning by sharing this article and circling the things you think are “hot” and getting feedback!
Another way to suggest temperature play to a partner: Next time you’re swapping porn, share a clip from an XXX scene that includes temperature play and see if they are interested! Our favorites from the Royal Fetish Films library include “Own Me” with Jet Setting Jasmine and Sara Lace and “Seen, Not Heard: Breast Milk & Cum Shot” with King Noire, Jet Setting Jasmine and Liv Revamped. Start a conversation about what aspects of the temperature play depicted they might be interested in and what they might like to explore with you.
Temperature Play Safety
Start low and slow when it comes to temperatures – this is a whole new skill set and a new set of sensations and experiences for you and your partner. The journey is the fun part and keeping skin intact and free of burns is the best way to ensure pleasure.
Consider hiring a professional to teach you how to play with elements such as fire play, fire cupping or other body heat bondage activities which are a bit more advanced than the examples shared above.
Remember you and your partner can stop at any time by sharing a safe word or movement to let the other person know you no longer want to engage.
Take time after your temperature play session to talk with each other and give feedback on what you both enjoyed or did not find fun. Incorporate this feedback into the next time you are given the opportunity to play.
And don’t forget aftercare! Whether it’s a hug or a snuggle or being left alone, hydrate and end your scene with aftercare.