You’ve tried temperature play basics and you and your lover are in tune with what makes the other tingle. Time to kick up the heat—or chill out—with temperature play 102!
First, A Word About Safety
Remember to always talk ahead of time to negotiate what is on the table for play, what are hard limits for each player and what enthusiastic and informed consent looks like.
Start low and slow when it comes to temperatures. Fire burns but so does cold! Keep skin intact and free of injury to promote pleasure.
Consider hiring a professional to broaden your temperature play experience and knowledge.
Remember, you and your partner can stop at any time by sharing a safe word to let the other person know you no longer want to engage.
Hydrate and end your scene with aftercare.
Stoke the Flames of Passion
One way to heighten our senses is to diminish others. By blindfolding our partner or lightly restraining them, we can increase the sensations, anticipation, and excitement in play.
Plastic wrap is another way to keep it fresh! While the heavier plastic film used for moving and packing furniture is often more useful for bondage of your partner’s limbs and/or entire body (mummification), look at what “pervertables” you already have in your home. The plastic wrap you use to cover leftover food can be used to mummify your delicious lover. Of course, ensuring they can breathe and alert you of any physical or psychological stressors, wrap your prize up while their body generates its own heat and sweat. Whether you primally tear into the packaging, slice it slowly with a knife, bite it with your teeth, or tease it with your fingers, the rush of cool air on their skin can be exhilarating.
Does the thought of bondage have your tummy in knots? If you aren’t ready to give up that much control, that’s OK! Enjoy the yummy sensations alighting your flesh and skip any power dynamics if D/s play isn’t your thing. You can wrap the plastic around limbs without binding them together, trapping the heat and using the surface of the plastic wrap for other play with items like ice cubes while the skin sweats inside.
If you prefer the ephemeral seduction of steam versus sweat, run a hot bath for your partner with their favorite scents or bath accessories. Get those muscles relaxed in advance of steamy sex!
Turn up the temperature in your bedroom with the intent of very hot and steamy sex. Think Hot Yoga but hot sex! Be sure to hydrate!
The Big Chill
Place your lover in a cold (cool) bathtub filled to a medium level. Describe how their body language is different when they are cold, drawing out the vulnerability of presenting differently than usual. Have them tell you dirty thoughts and add a bit more hot (warm) water for each naughty confession. Eventually, they will be sitting in a very comfortable temperature and ready to act out some of those thoughts. This is more on the side of BDSM play, but can certainly work with even the most novice kinkster.
Use an ice cube to trace your partner’s body and see what level of arousal it brings over different areas of the body. Enhance this play by adding a blindfold and or bondage.
Ice cubes aren’t the only chilly extras in your BDSM toolbox. That stainless steel buttplug that warms up so nicely in your hands? It conducts cold air, too, so pop that into the refrigerator for a bit before popping it in for playtime!
Put a cold drink of ice water in your mouth and let it drip out onto your partner’s body. This is a form of both temperature play and defilement that can be very sexy.
Are you feeling hot reading along or did you get a chill up your spine at some of these tips? Temperature play can be a great way to expand intimacy; just be sure to prioritize safety, respect, communication, and consent!