Having Sex Without a Condom
Q: I know the fact that despite following the calendar for safe days, et. al, sex without a condom can be risky. Is there any safer way to have sex without one? Me & my wife don’t want any barrier between us when making love, in particular, my wife hates using a condom and likes the feel of skin inside her. And yeah, we don’t want to be on contraceptives, as we plan to have a baby after a year.
At the most, I would like to know if there’s a good reason why we should use a condom.
A: Since you want to get pregnant within a year, that also rules out putting in a nonhormonal IUD. Other barrier methods of birth control include the diaphragm, the cervical cap and the sponge (although not sure of the availability of this one). The diaphragm is a soft, latex, round dome-like device that is placed in the vagina to cover the cervix. For this device, you need to get measured/fitted by a doctor who will prescribe it for you. It is placed before intercourse and taken out within 24hours after. The cervical cap is similar. It is a small rubber cap that covers the cervix. You would need a prescription for this one too. Like the first two, the sponge also is placed near the cervix and helps block sperm. The contraceptive sponge also has spermicide in it so it will kill the sperm. Another option is a spermicide that is inserted in the vagina. They come in the form of tablets, creams, foam or vaginal suppository. Make sure to read the instructions carefully. The downside to all these methods is that they require you to be diligent. You also need to be aware that they are not as effective as the Pill. Some women also do not like inserting something into their vaginas. You should discuss all these options with your healthcare professional.
Pre-cum and Pregnancy
Q: My question is if it’s possible for me to get pregnant with pre-cum ? I am on the pill and on the day we had intercourse, I had a low chance of getting pregnant. Also last night I consumed a lot of alcohol and cigarettes. I am just very concerned as I am not able to have a child at the moment and I don’t know who to ask for help. Thank you.
A: If you are taking the birth control pill as instructed (where you never miss a pill), then the effectiveness of this form of birth control is 99%. So it is unlikely that you would become pregnant. Plus, pre-cum does not contain much sperm (usually, if it does, it is sperm that remains in the urethra from a prior ejaculation). As for the alcohol and cigarettes, this does not affect the efficacy of the pill (however it is recommended not to smoke if you are on the pill as it increases the risk of stroke). As a side note, the birth control pill may not be as effective if a person is also on antibiotics (so you would need to use condoms while on antibiotics).
Risks of Frequent Anal Sex
Q: Is there any article on this site about frequent anal sex?
My boyfriend states that having anal sex more than twice a week may risk in fecal incontinence, that conclusion came by checking different sources (I am tired of looking for a good source). I checked Wikipedia and it says “repetitive penetrative anal sex”, but that sounds vague to me. Also, I live in a country where people and doctors are incompetent and religious and hateful, I don’t want to hear opinions, I want to hear medical facts: is it true or not? In my mind, if anal sex is done safely, we both can enjoy it much more frequently.
A: You are absolutely right that if done safely, and when you are well prepared, that it can be enjoyed frequently for most people. However, one study has demonstrated that the practice of anal sex may increase the risk of developing fecal incontinence or other bowel issues. They did not examine the link between this and the frequency of anal sex however. What they did find is that it is more common in men. Here is a summary of the findings and as you can see, the difference is not huge between women who do and who don’t engage in anal intercourse. You can read the whole study here, but here’s an excerpt:
“Fecal incontinence rates were higher among women (9.9 percent) and men (11.6 percent) reporting anal intercourse than among women (7.4 percent) and men (5.3 percent) not reporting anal intercourse.”
Vagina/Anal Sex Without Condoms
Q: Is Vagina/Anal Sex without condoms safe in the real world, or do I just always wear a condom?
A: You must always use a condom to protect yourself from a sexually transmitted infection. However, if you are with only one partner and both of you have been checked for STIs, and you use another form of birth control, then you can have sex without a condom. Both vaginal and anal sex without a condom is very risky, with anal sex being even riskier as the tissues in the anus are more fragile.