When Does It Go Too Far?
Q: Lately it seems like my sex drive is out of control. I’ve always been a pretty frequent masturbator, but recently I will go days without sex, and then go into being so horny that it’s actually like a problem. Like I can’t think of anything else and I begin to think about places I could go to pick up a stranger even though I am happily single. I have a friends with benefits arrangement with someone who lives in a different city but occasionally visits mine for business. This used to be enough, but now I don’t think it is and everything about it is very unpredictable.
I feel like I’m on the edge of beginning to engage in some pretty risky behavior. Is this what sex addiction is? Could my libido be flaring weirdly for some medical reason? I feel like I need to figure it out before I go too far.
A: What happens if you were to masturbate daily? It seems that if you don’t, then you get to a point of needing it badly and feel out of control. When you say you are worried about risky behavior, I’m not sure what you mean. Going out and engaging in casual sex with a stranger who is consenting is not exactly risky unless you forget to use protection. As for the reason for your increased libido, it’s possible that something is responsible for it such as changes in testosterone levels, certain medications, drug use (stimulants) or even mental health conditions (like bipolar/manic disorder). As for sex addiction, that is characterized by a loss of control, preoccupation with sex, an inability to stop, a negative impact on your daily life, an escalation of sexual activity to get to the same level of satisfaction, continued engagement in the sexual behaviors despite knowing they have negative consequences, interference with your responsibilities, feelings of shame and guilt afterwards, difficulty establishing meaningful relationships, and using sex as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, depression or other negative emotions. Before we can conclude that you have a problematic libido, you would need to be evaluated by a sex therapist or a sex addiction counselor.
Long-Term Effects Of Masturbation
Q: I’m a 21-year-old guy, and I jerk off a lot. Well, not an insane amount, but at least once a day. And as you can imagine, I’ve been doing this for years. I do want to have children one day in the future. Will there be any long-term consequences for my fertility based on how much I masturbate? Will it lower my sperm count?
A: What you’re describing sounds perfectly normal for a 21-year-old guy. There are no negative consequences to masturbating once a day or even more, and there is no link to long term fertility issues. Sperm production is actually an ongoing process in the testicles, producing millions of sperm each and every day. If you masturbate a lot in one day, then that day you will have less sperm. Your body will then replenish the sperm. Just a note on excessive masturbation: there is no actual number of how much is too much. We evaluate this based on whether it is causing negative consequences on your physical or mental well being or if it is interfering with your daily life, your relationships or your responsibilities.