Condoms Breaking
Q: The condoms keep breaking when I have sex, but I am using them correctly. Can you help?
A: That is surprising; if used correctly, it shouldn’t break. However, examine how you are storing your condoms. If you keep them in a hot place, like your wallet in your back pocket, or your glove compartment in a hot car, this can affect the condom. Also, check the expiration date. When you open the condom, could you be ripping it with your teeth or nails? You may need to consider putting lubricant (never oil based) on the condom (maybe your partner is dry?). Also, make sure never to reuse a condom and always leave enough room at the tip by pinching about an inch while putting it on.
Vaginal Orgasm
Q: I want to give my wife one of those “feel it in your legs” type orgasms you hear about, possibly not tied into clitoral stimulation but penetration. I thought I had given one to a couple of past girlfriends, but I can’t seem to make it happen with her. Does it have to do with size comparison (vagina to penis size) or girth specifically? Or do some women not have the capability, period? Is it not possible without clitoris action? Tips and insight would be great!
A: What’s important is that you pleasure your partner the way she enjoys it. It is true that the vast majority of women do not orgasm from intercourse alone—that they do indeed need clitoral stimulation. It’s just the way we are built. However, there are things you could do. Find positions where your pelvis rubs against hers to increase the pressure to her clitoris. Or a position that gives you access to her clitoris with your hand. Good sex is not about the destination but the journey. If you are putting pressure on your wife inadvertently by being disappointed that she is not getting there in the way you want her to, this may impede her ability to enjoy the sexual experience thoroughly. Remember that for women, orgasms are not necessary for sexual satisfaction. Also, many things can get in the way of a partner letting go completely (mainly her state of mind, fatigue, stress, etc.).