Pop culture, literature, music, and even ancient texts have long associated alcohol consumption with engaging in sexual activity. Countless songs mention the arousing effects of alcohol on men and women, but how much of it is true? And is alcohol always beneficial to your sex life or can it also be damaging? Let’s talk about it.
Yes, Alcohol Can Make You More Interested In Sex
Having a few drinks can in fact lower your inhibitions and anxieties, which may lead to being more interested in sex. This is especially true if you suffer from social anxiety and having some alcohol in your system helps you interact with people more positively in general, and stress-free. Self-medicating for anxiety in this way can be dangerous, however, and not recommended for continuous use. People who drink may feel more attractive and can actually help others look more attractive too. That may not be good at times, when waking in the morning and seeing who is in bed with you! Yikes! It can definitely impair judgment if you drink too much. In research, men have been found to be “less picky” in a partner when they have been drinking.
No, Alcohol Does Not Increase The Physiological Responses Of Arousal
But wait—you just said it increases interest in sex? Yes, it increases your psychological interest in sex, but it actually decreases your body’s ability to physiologically respond to sexual contexts. Alcohol is a depressant. Alcohol makes it harder for men to get erections; if they do get one, the erection may last longer (which may not be bad necessarily) but orgasm may be difficult and can be more difficult for women to produce natural vaginal lubricant to prepare for sex. In fact, the larger the quantity of alcohol you consume, the harder it is for your body to experience responsive desire. So no, alcohol does not exactly make you horny.
It Becomes More Difficult To Orgasm
This is called orgasmic dysfunction and drinking makes it worse. Drinking can make it take much longer to orgasm, and that’s if you ever do at all. The orgasms you are able to have may be less intense and unsatisfying. It actually interferes with your ability to feel sexual stimulation. The connection from the brain to the genitals is affected which can keep you from having an orgasm. It may get you to the brink and feel close but to actually “finish” can be difficult. There are times when a small amount of alcohol has been linked to women increasing their testosterone and can help with the arousal process but not with the orgasm.
Drinking All The Time May Be Harmful To Your Sex Drive
Even though some people find it helpful to have a few drinks before sex, having a few drinks every night for several nights in a row can cause long-term damage to your libido. So if your sex drive is something you worry about, maybe skip the nightcap every now and then or reduce your alcohol intake altogether.
The Issue Of Consent
The most alarming concern regarding alcohol and sex is that it can inhibit your ability to give true, clear, enthusiastic consent. Determining the difference between someone having a fun buzz and being completely incapacitated is really important if you are trying to decide if you have their consent or not. When in doubt, it’s best to not assume you have their consent. It’s not only consent, but many women will wake up the next morning and realize they did something they didn’t want to do and regret their decisions. They may find that they didn’t have protected sex and come down with an STI, or possibly even get pregnant. Consent and ability to be in the right headspace should be one of the most important things since you can’t go back in time wishing you didn’t do something you had done.
Ways To Practice Safe Drinking To Enjoy Sex
- Pace yourself. Maybe rotate between alcohol and non-alcoholic beverages.
- Know in your mind that you are not going to allow yourself to be pressured at any time and say that in your head through the evening. You also don’t want to put pressure on anyone to do anything they are not comfortable with.
- Drink a lot of water so you fill up easier, faster and feel more full so you don’t have as much room to drink another drink.
- Set boundaries and limits ahead of time with how much you are going to drink.
- Always let a trusted friend know where you are and who you are with so if there are any concerns, your friend can be there.
Just always be aware and cautious when out drinking as one or two drinks may be just what you need to enjoy the evening, take the edge off and be playful, sexual, and lessen the inhibitions. But as you can see, too much alcohol can change the whole situation. Be responsible and enjoy your night!
If you want to discuss any issues you have with drinking or alcohol abuse, please find a local therapist that can help. If you are wanting to discuss more how to be more confident in bed and with a partner and not need any alcohol to release your inhibitions, contact Dr. Stacy at [email protected] or visit her website at drstacyfriedman.com for a complimentary 15-minute consultation to see if the services are right for you.