Turning Gay pt. 3

now that I had sucked my first cock, and had my cock sucked by a man, there was no doubt about my sexuality. I was bi-sexual. I had gay sex, and I liked it! The cocksucking didn't stop there. over the next 15 years, I sucked another 35 cocks, got my cock sucked by 50+ guys, and stroked countless more. and I had done that all while maintaining a completely straight appearance and lifestyle.
I started off being 98% into women, with an inconsistent urge to suck a cock every once in a while. However, recently, the gay cravings have been taking over. I found myself more frequently visiting the gay nude beach and the gloryholes. I spent more time on craigslist and adam4adam looking for a cock to suck or a guy to suck me off. I visited a gay bath house and attended a jack off club event. with all of that, my porn searches have been more and more focused on cocks and gay sex. if you look at my "favorites" on this site, there was always a mix of gay and straight stuff, but recently, the gay pics and vids have been taking over. I watch mostly gay or transsexual porn now. I am fascinated by cock. I cant get enough of it.
my most profound revelation came when I was watching straight porn. After watching a bunch of hot girls get fucked, I realized that I was focusing more on the cocks that were fucking them than their tits or pussies. I realized that I was fantasizing about the cocks that they were sucking, rather than imagining the big titted slut sucking my cock. instead of thinking, "wow her ass is perfect," while I'm stroking my cock, I'm thinking, "mmm, his cock is so hard and thick." All of the straight porn that I watch has a gay aspect to it. the guy will have a nice big cock, or there will be a huge cumshot. while watching bukkake videos, I don't fantasize about shooting a load on the girls face, I fantasize about 10 guys stroking their cocks and covering my face with their cum.
my gay fantasies have even taken over my straight sex life. as my girlfriend is sucking my cock, I find myself taking mental notes on what she's doing so that I can better please the next man I suck. when I want to cum, I imagine her lips as mine and what a cock would feel like sliding in and out of my mouth and how warm and salty the cum would feel as it shoots into the back of my mouth. it always makes me cum.
I've also been accepting my inadequacies as a man, and have realized that I am better fit to be a sissy bottom for a masculine man. my cock is only four inches long and will bring no pleasure to a guy or girl. I'm also a premature ejaculator so if someone did like small cocks, I'd be cumming soon after we got started. so while my tiny cock is useless, my mouth works just fine. I can drop down and take a real mans cock in my faggot mouth and please him that way. the excitement of sucking a cock and making a man cum in my mouth or on my face is more than enough for me to shoot a huge load while stroking my little dick.
I haven't reached that point yet, but I know where this path is taking me. sometime soon, I'm going to take the next step towards becoming fully gay and I'm going to let a man fuck me in the ass. I may take it slow and start off as a masculine bottom. but I know that I have a submissive sissy side that's aching to come out. I can see myself moaning like a girl as a man pounds my ass with his hard cock. I can also see myself dressing up as a female and totally becoming a sissy slut that lives to please men with my tight ass and eager mouth. I've been feeling more and more feminine and have been thinking about what it would be like to be fucked in the ass. I am curious about cumming from prostate stimulation. I want to tell a man, "oh yes, fill my ass with your big cock" as my tiny sissy cock drips precum. I want to moan in ecstasy as a hard cock fills my ass with cum and my little dick shoots a huge load.
stay tuned for the next evolution of my sexuality