Who you really are.

Inspired by a reader...

My whole life, I never would of considered myself a "sissy." I, for sure, would of never called myself one. Well, maybe, behind closed doors. As I got older, the desires and urges grew. They became stronger and my ability to fight them off and resist them lessened. Being older, it just feels so good to give into them, now.

Of course, that does not mean that it was always the case. However, there were encounters with it, in my youth. The cravings, the lust filled thoughts, the yearning. The very first time was with some sort of relative, just a few years older than me. However, at that young age, a few can mean alot. After some light touching, him on me, some of his flrty talk, he took out his cock. I tried not to stare, but something inside stirred. I knew how all the boys, especially the older ones talked about boys who liked other boys or did this kind of stuff. Besides, I didn't like boys anyways, I just liked what they usually hid in their pants. I watched it move, it was mesmerizing. He wanted to me touch it, to come over and kiss it. I wanted to so badly. I felt so light headed being so close to it. It had a magnetic pull, the desire was too much to resist. I did not want to resist. I knew I wanted to, nothing else mattered. I stumbled to him, already cock drunk, I think. I don't know why I found cock so alluring, so erotic, only that I did. The feelings and lust just always seemed to be there. As soon has my lips touched it, like was like being in a dream. A sensual, erotic dream. It wasn't about him, the place, the circumstances. It was simply about how amazing and marvelous it was to experience it. How it made me feel... just so incredible.

Feeling it on my lips, so wonderful. I had to have more. I took it into my mouth and tasted it. I could feel my eyes glaze over in pleasure. I could also feel the thrill of him getting hard. How amazing it was, the feeling, the sensation. Although it was my first time, sucking dick seemed so natural, I seemed so good at it! It was simply incredible. I can remember sucking it, almost desperately. Like a youth with the most delicious lolipop, ever. I was afraid someone might take it away. I had no way of knowing at that age, but he had no intension of stopping me. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I bobbed my mouth back and forth on his cock, until I felt a warm rush of salty fluid. I pulled my mouth from him, surprised, as it ran down my chin. Another stream of warm, white fluid spurted out and landed heavy on my face as he put his hands on the back of my head. He pulled me back towards his erupting cock. I sucked him more and learned to swallow it. I felt the most euphoric feeling wash over me. It was a sensual, sexual awakening. Feeling it on my face, tasting it, feeling it slide down my throat. It changed me. I felt so complete.

I never saw him again, but I can not count how many times I dreamed about it afterwards. How many times I masturbated to the thoughts. Cock, or cum, or both seemed to be so impossibly addictive. Yet, I tried to stay the straight course. I would learn that it would only be so long before temptation would come calling. I learned that I was almost powerless to resist it. The boss at my first job. He was heavy set, hairy, not at all attractive, but manly. Who knows how many he had seduced before. I did not care. When he made advances, I would not, could not stop him. I did not want too. That first time, after all others had left for the night, he gave me a blowjob in his office. It was the most incredible orgasm of my life. His big, warm, wet mouth. So much better, so much more thrilling than a clumsy encounter with an uneager girl. I felt so light headed, but knew I wanted something else more than my own orgasm. Knowing that he would be so turned on, knowing that he would so badly be needing release, I touched him. The look in his eyes, he could see it in mine. I slowly moved to my knees in front of him as he leaned back on his desk. As he began to undo his belt, I ran my hands up his thighs. My intention was clear, my lust was on full display. He undid his fly as I tugged down on the material, freeing his musky, hairy cock and balls. It looked so sexy to me! His scent filled the air. It seemed to make me weak. I had no idea how sexy older men could be! With his cock resting between his thigh and balls, I licked his sack. I had dreamed of it, but I did not ever think it would happen. I licked his sensitive sack, I sucked gently on his balls and tasted the salty flavor. His sexy cock shifted, I moaned. "Mmmm" sounds escaped my lips as I sucked him, as if I was starved for it.

His seemingly shocked silence began to give way. He became more verbal, under his breath at first, but then louder, bolder, more lewd. His comments, his directions, they acutally started to turn me on. The flithier and ruder they got, the harder my still spent cock became. "I had no idea what a little f*#g*t you were." The more he talked, the more I seemed to moan. "I bet you want me to fuck that tight, little sissy ass, don't you." Why did it all turn me on so much? I think it turned him on, too. He held my head (yes, I loved that, too) and began to flood my mouth with his semen. "Swallow it, you little cock sucker!" "Mmmm, yeah, suck that cock, f*#g*t!" I moaned and gulped it down. I just felt so weak, I just so wanted to be used, my head was swimming. I felt amazing and spent.

When I left, I felt intoxicated. It felt like I was floating. The taste of cum, the smell of his balls on my face. It was all so intoxicating and fantastic. The whole night, I relived it in my mind. The taste of cum in my mouth. The musky scent in my nostrils. I could not seem to keep my hands of of myself. I masturbated the entire night. Images of his manly, hairy cock in filled my thoughts. I even began to imagine turning around for him. Bending over his desk, for him. I touched my little, tight asshole and imagined it was the head of his cock. My whole body tingled. Oh, how I wished he was there with me. I came two more times that night.

I imagined it as a fantasy. My fantasies were all filled with cock, yet I still told myself it was just a phase. It was just a moment of weakness, a desire too strong and a rare opportunity to explore it. That's what I told myself, even as I showed up to work the next night, although I wasn't scheduled to. He saw me and a sly smile came over his face. As if he knew he was right about me, maybe I knew it, too. Other co workers looked confused, yet I was too horny to care. When they all left for the night, I went into his office and waited for him. I wanted to be fucked. I told myself, just this one time, just to know what it was like, then never again. I wasn't a sissy. I was just curious. When he came in, I put my hands on the desk and leaned over, just enough to let my intentions known. He knew it, but made me say it anyways. "You want to get fucked? Say it, you little f#g. Fuck, you're such a little sissy." Impossible to explain, but his words made me feel so sexy and so very horny. "What are you going to do for me?" The only word I could think of, the only word I could muster, I said, "Anything."

I fell, so wonderfully to my knees as he unzipped his pants. I could not hide my eagerness, my lust. That big, hairy, musky, delicious cock came into view. My mouth watered in anticipation, but not yet, he had other plans. He turned around. I found myself eye level with his fat, hairy ass. "Eat my ass, sissy." Fuck, his words alone could make my cock drip precum. I was overcome. Suddenly filled with new desires, new and amazing desires, I pushed my face between his cheeks. "Oh yeah, lick that hole!" Fuxk, kt was amazing to be so submissive! I even put my hands on his big cheeks, pulling them open, letting me lick him more easily and completely. He tasted so good! I had no idea! Salty and somehow sweet, it even made me moan, something he seemed to revel in. He turned around and rammed his hard cock at my mouth. I sucked him and felt him bounce against the back of my throat before he pulled my to my feet.

Pushing me over his desk, it was his turn. Ripping my pants down, he buried his rough face into my ass, tonguing me, pushing his tongue into me. His grunts, his sounds, they made me so want to be taken. Lust overcame all nerves when I felt his hands grip into my waist. The wonderful, firm head of his cock pressed against my opening. I cried out softly as he entered me, mostly to turn him on, I think. It hurt, but in the most wonderful of ways. I felt him fill me, I heard his heavy breathing, I felt his hot breath, I felt him press up against me, deep inside me.

His fingers digging into my sides, I braced myself against his thrusts, his powerful thrusts. The slapping sounds as his body slammed into mine. His grunts, our moans until he cried out and I felt his cum flow into me. His cock pulsed and throbbed and filled me with his seed. How amazingly girly it made me feel. I let myself feel it, just for the moment. I let myself feel so complete, just for the moment. When he pulled out of me, I could barely stand. As his cum ran out of my gaped hole, I turned and leaned against him, every bit the sissy he had called me.

My soft cock was covered in precum. Wonderfully, he stroked it, making his palm sticky, slick and wet. He ran his hand over my ass and down my crack. His finger found my sore, cum soaked hole and rubbed it as he stroked me, then, he finger fucked me. I was lost in it all. I was putty. I was completely, wonderfully, his.

His finger inside me, his slick hand stroking me, I leaned into him and started to kiss him. Gosh, it just felt so right, so girly, so thrilling. My lips found his musky neck, his cheek, then his mouth and I started to shake and cum. The most wonderful orgasm, ever. That same intoxicated feeling seemed to wash over me. The tingle, only this time even more so. I could barely walk, but felt so incredible. Still, I told myself that it was a one time thing. It had to be a one time thing. I had given into it and it was amazing, but now it was out of my system. Although, I am not sure that I believed it, even then. The urges, the desires, they were just temporary, just young exploration, right?

Okay, I told myself, it was amazing, it did feel so amazing. Just one more time. In his office, I sucked his cock. His big, hairy, musky smelling cock. His gorgeous, sexy, euphoric cock. Okay, I made love to it. If this was the last time, I would get it all out of my system, this time. I moaned for him, I told him I loved it. I told him I wanted his cum. Call me sissy, call me f*#g*t. His cock nice and hard and wet with saliva, I stood and turned. Standing as he leaned back against his desk. I held my cheeks apart and lowered myself down onto him. Thick dick filled my ass and I loved it. "I love your cock." "I love you fucking me." The words and emotions flowed. I grinded and bounced on his cock as he grunted and groaned. He pushed me off of him, "You little fucking slut!" Pushing things off his desk, he pushed me back onto it. I grapped the back of my knees. Yes, he was so totally right! I held my legs, making it easier for him to enter me deeply. Yes, hard dick pounded into me, making me slide back and forth. Such a total "f*#g*t, I asked him to kiss me. I put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down. Our lips met, his tongue dove in. "Yes, fuck me," I whispered. "Mmmm, I love your cock, fuck me." As his grunts quickened, I kissed his lips with a chorus of, "Yes, yes, yes!" "Cum inside me!" He pulled back and I felt that now familiar, that amazing, rush of creamy, addictive cum. I had the biggest smile. He kind of laughed, saying, "Happy now, sissy?"

Weeks went by, then months and years. I lived off of those precious few, amazing encounters. I worked, I had girlfriends, I made a life, but deep down, I knew something was missing. Something wonderful, something that seemed to make me feel complete. I craved cock. I craved the touch of another man. Still, it would be some time longer before I was able to finally give in to it completely. There were some other detours, times when I just could not resist and stay the course, however. Some other encounters, and it seemed the longer I waited between them, the more extreme they and my actions became. The more I denied my lusts, my cravings, the stronger they would be.

Oh, how I craved cock. Watching porn, dreaming about it, touching myself, only temporary fixes of a building, unquenchable lust. Cock was so incredibly alluring to me, irresistible. The needs, the wants, so powerful. Straight porn, I felt jealous of the beautiful women pleasuring and taking hot, hard cock. Taking wonderful and decadent cumshots. I just had to have another experience. I had to give in to my overpowering urges. Where, how, with who?

I had heard the rumors, but somehow had never been. It would be the start of a short lived, but amazing period of me visiting an Adult Bookstore. As it turned out, it should be no surprise, they were filled with horny guys of all ages, shapes, sizes and race. A surprising number of guys around my age, also. Seemingly in their dating, relationship prime, yet needing and wanting release. Then there were the guys like me, hungry and cock starved. The perfect place for both. I was nervous, I had no idea what to expect. I walked around the well lite book store part, becoming so horny at the video covers and magazines. I noticed that most of the action seemed to be in the darkened back of the building. I saw that most, almost all, of the guys that came in went straight back there, and so did I. So many guys, just milling about, standing off to the sides. I was so naive. Video booths played porn of all kinds, it was such a turn on! Not knowing what else to do, I sat down in one of them. Then, a soft knock on the door, I cracked it open and a stranger stepped in. He stood in front of me, I did not say a word. My eyes fell to his crotch and he unzipped himself. No words were needed, I eagerly engulfed him, breathing in his musky scent. I could feel my eyes roll back. Fuck, his cock tasted so good, felt so damn good! I grabbed his ass, so hungry for dick and pulled him closer and down my throat. Sucking cock can be so intoxicating, I felt a warm tingle all over. Fuck, it was so amazing! I stroking his saliva lubed shaft and dove my mouth unto his hanging balls, mouthing them, sucking them. So salty and musky, it filled my senses and made me feel light headed. He knew who I was, he knew what I needed. He put his hands on the back of my head and fucked my mouth until he exploded, without warning. I gagged on his cum and swallowed as I felt it run down my chin. Before he stepped back out of the booth, he said, "See you next Tuesday." I would come to know that for a lot of men, this was a regular thing. I wiped his cum from my chin, absolutely eurphoric. Another soft knock and another guy stepped in. My heart raced, this was so thrilling, this seemed a dream come true. My head was spinning, I was so lost in the moment. I reached for his fly and moaned, completely cock drunk. I sucked his soft shaft. He got so hard and came so fast! I swallowed his cum, then licked and kissed his sensitive dick as he shook and petted my head. It was so sweet! This time, when ne left, I was the one to say, "See you next Tuesday." I waited alone in the booth, trying to gather myself, maybe waiting for yet another visitor. I touched my cock through my pants, it was so wet with precum. It felt wonderful. I felt wonderful.

You know that the very next Tuesday, I made an excuse and headed straight to the ABS! This time, I even brought a small vile of lube. I thought in case someone wanted to fuck me. Maybe, I was even hoping that someone would want to fuck me. Back in the same booth, eager to have my horny, slutty mouth filled, I did not have to wait long. A different guy than last time, I could not wait! He took his beautiful, hanging dick out and I marveled at how it moved as he did, so sexy. It, he, took my breath away. I kissed it and licked along it's length. His soft groan was so encouraging. Kisses along the shaft and his big, tight balls. I heard a soft, horny, "Suck it." I did as I was told! I stuffed my mouth with him and felt him swell. His big balls, I cupped them and craddled them, gently squeezing hoping to coax his cum out. I heard him say, "Harder, sissy!" It made my precum flow! I squeezed his balls, I sucked hard on his cock's head, making lewd sucking sounds. He started to buck his hips, I stroked his shaft and tugged on his balls, then, an "Ah, fuck!" He moaned out and came a powerful, thick load. I felt it, heavy, as it slid down my throat. He left quickly as I asked, "See you next Tuesday?" Probably louder than I should have. Another guy and another wonderful cock. Then, a guy from my first visit there. The first one, the one that came so hard and so much that it gagged me. As much as I wanted that again, I wanted to feel him fill my ass even more. I sucked him, making him nice and hard, then whispered a sissy's favorite words, "Do you want to fuck me?" I stood, turned and pulled down my pants. He pressed the head of his sexy cock against my opening and pushed it inside me. I gasped, fuck, it was amazing. I had totally forgotten about the lube in my pocket, it was too late and it didn't even matter. We stood in the little booth and he fucked me. His hands sinking into my sides, he slammed his hard cock into me. My own cock flung precum as it flopped with each of his thrusts. I could barely stand, I put my hands on the booth wall and braced myself as he fucked me, hard! Such a turn on! It was just incredible to be taken again. I moaned like a slut until he gave me what I craved. He came inside me. That tingle, that dizzying, wonderful tingle came over me. As if my hole got what it so desperately needed. A man's hot cum. I think I even thanked him. Before I could pull my pants up, yet another guy came in. He had heard what had just happened. I wondered how many guys were out there. How many had heard. He asked if I wanted to fuck again. My head swimming, my ass sore, I pushed my pants back down and turned around. No need for lube as my hole was dripping cum. I could barely think straight. I felt his thrusts, all I could say was, "Yes, yes." I was so ready to cum, myself. My cock flopped and ached with anticipation. "Can I cum on your face?" I thought to myself in an instant, Oh, yes, make me your sissy! It was all he had to say to make me sit back down as he stroked himself inches away. I gasped when I felt his load land on my face. The hypnotic scent of semen filled my senses. I rubbed my own cock through my pants and came at the same time. It was a fantasy come true! Why is getting cummed on so exhilarating? Only a sissy knows.

I wished the booths were bigger. I found myself wishing that multiple guys could use me, take me, at the same time. Mmmm, one fucking me from behind, his hands gripping me, pulling me back onto his cock as he slammed forward. Another in front of me, feeding me his manhood, thrusting it down my eager throat. A line of other cocks, waiting their turn to be pleasured. Becoming a total sissy had really started to sound amazing!

The next Tuesday, no longer resisting what I loved and craved, I was back at the ABS. Horny, thrilled at the prospect of cock, I went in. However, the back section had been roped off. It had been shut down. Looking back, I guess it was a good thing. It forced me out into the open. It made me actively pursue and admit my role. I could no longer be in the shadows. It went hand in hand with admitting who I really was.

Some guys were hanging out in the dark parking lot, behind the ABS. Full of need, I had no doubt. I had needs of my own. I could feel their eyes on me. It made my cock stir and heart race. I could imagine myself the lone slut, having to take care of all these horny men. It made me so turned on. I heard a, "Hey." Maybe he had recognized me for inside, maybe he had even used my mouth before, but I did not know. I went over to him as he sat in his car. When I looked in his side window, he had the most delicious erection! He had is cock out and was stroking himself! I needed no more incentive! I practically ran around to the passenger side and got in. There is nothing more incredible than the slow lean towards a hot, hard cock. The brief moments of so much lust and anticipation. The sight of it, the knowledge that you are so helpless to your sissy, cock sucking cravings. I took his dick into my mouth, right there in the parking lot. Fully aware that I might be found out. Kind of hoping to be watched. It was an all together new kind of thrill. What if horny guys watched me sucking him off? The thought of it made my head fizz. Watch me and join in. Make me take turns sucking multiple dicks. Oh yes, fuck my ass as I suck multiple dicks! Make me take multiple cum shots! It was so unexpected, a new level to my journey. I sucked the stranger's cock, loving it, and realized that someone was watching. It made my precum flow! Then, I noticed another. I made a show of it, moaning and graoning and making sucking sounds until he exploded to the thrill of the guys watching. Of course, I swallowed his seed and made slutty, "Mmmmm," sounds as I did it.

Cock and cum drunk, I followed another guy to his car and had a few others follow, too. Probably, to enjoy the show. Hopefully, just waiting their turn. Instead of getting into a car, he turned intto an open spot, partially concealed from view. When ne started to 5ake his cock out, I so very naturally, wonderfully moved to my knees.Mmm, hard, deliciois, horny cock. It felt so good in my mouth, I must could not get enough! Another beautiful young was watching, he had taken out his erect dick and was stroking himself, right there in sight. I motioned for him to come over, this was turning into a fantasy! Being on display was more exciting than I imagined. I stroked his hard cock, as I sucked the other, and he shook in sensitive pleasure. I dovemy mouth onto him, just intime to catch his cumshot. I moaned out loudly! I swallowed it all without skipping a beat, Bqck to my wonderful other new friend, he put his hand on my head and stroked himself. I simply moaned out soft "Yes, yes," and sucked his balls. Leaaning my head back, he showered me with his load. Truly a wonderful cum slut now! I staggered to my feet, soaked in cum, intoxicated by it's power, and was about to leave when I heard the words, "Want to get fucked." My head was already spinning, yes, I wanted to, badly. Lowering your pants for hot, hard dick is such a thrill. Knowing you are going to get fucked, knowing you a f*#g*t slut. I put my hands on someone's hood and he sank his lubed, condom covered cock into me. I just moaned and let him have his way. Moving me back and forth with each thrust, I was on the edge of orgasm. If only he would kiss me, I bet I would cum. I leaned back as he continued to slam my ass. I reached back and touched his face. With each thrust, erotic, "Ah, ah, ah" sounds escaped my cum covered lips. I leaned my head back, I pulled his towards me. The horny, sexy guy kissed my neck and cheek and tasted another's cum. It sent us both over the edge. He let out an moan and shook as he filled me. I trembled, my ass full of cock and cum as I came, too. The most amazing orgasm.. truly addictive. Getting fucked to orgssm was truly incredible. From the darkened parking lot, I heard applause. I guess I had found out who I really was.