The Natural Habitat of the Northwest Porn Pig

I had dinner the other night with a couple and a guy I had never met before (but he's hotter than hell and so I hope to see a lot more of him.) I've known the two married guys for several years, and although we are not close friends we try to hang out when we can, probably twice or three times a year. As you might expect, considering it was a table of four gay men, the topic of conversation got around to stroke videos and even XHamster. By way of introduction to the new guy, I was presented as -- and I quote -- "a porn connoisseur."

I thought, Jesus, its not just my best friends any more, the even larger circle of acquaintances know about my "fixation." Is that good or bad? Okay, so I used to have like 600 video tapes and DVDs that I stored in an antique steamer trunk in the old days. Sure, I porn-surf the web for a couple hours a night and occasionally (okay, more often) 4 or 5 hours a night. I know it's probably not common to masturbate at least once almost every day of your life. But I'm still a productive member of society. I stay at the top of my profession in my city, and in a competitive, stressful industry. I volunteer my time to a number of worthy charities. I spend quality time with quite a few people, tending and nurturing many friendships. And I'm politically active and involved.

Okay, maybe I'm being a little defensive. I don't mean to be, I don't feel that way. I was terribly amused by the conversation at the restaurant, and it somehow garnered me instant respect from the new guy. And, needless to say, I'm not alone. Everyone at the table started talking about their favorite porn stars and their favorite porn sites and the most recent video they'd jacked off to. I guess I'm just more open and vocal about my love of porn than most. And that's why I'm the one they all come to when they're looking for recommendations when they need some new wacking material. We all have to be identified by something, I guess. I'm just known as the guy with the weak eyes and hairy palms.