It's a quandary...

As to why,in the past and now,that I've found it so easy to be nude,suck,fuck,jack off and watch and be watched in front of others. But now am having difficulty in making and posting vids of myself.
I've been to nude beaches,resorts and social gatherings where nudity is accepted and have been to multiple orgies and masturbation,blow job parties...and even have been photographed by myself and others and felt completely at ease and turned on. But this last fantasy of complete exhibitionism has me puzzled. NOT a great way to start on my journey of uninhibited exhibitionism.
I REALLY,REALLY need someone in my area to join me on this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!