Ok, Here's the First Part of My Confession

I began writing this in November, and have had reservations about posting it. Today is an anniversary of sorts for me. On this day fifteen years ago the house that my ex and I owned sold. He left me the prior May and during that time he continued to direct deposit his check into our joint account and I took care of the bills. I wasn’t working when he left and I didn’t work until after the house sold. I think he felt guilty about leaving me and just allowed me to continue to stay home and “take care of things”. They say the devil will find work for idle hands; it’s also true for mouths, pussys and asses. I have never really told the story of those first weeks and months and years after my divorce. What I did and how I acted were truly embarrassing; I acted like a girl without any scruples and did so many things that were out of character for me. It was truly an amazing time and I grew sexually and found my confidence as a women. Before then I was pretty unsure much of the time. I also learned to drink and smoke pot and take speed. My experimentation with alcohol and d**gs allowed my inhibitions to grow and the feeling of being buzzed and in a “situation” was so intoxicating in itself.
Immediately after he left I cried a few days and tried to call him many times. Then I decided that I would show him. I was listening to “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gainer when I decided to go for a complete makeover, new hairstyle, coloring, eyebrow waxing, make-up, and I bought sexy underwear, clothes and condoms. I went to a bar that night and looking to pick up a guy. I didn’t really drink at this time in my life, so this was something out of character. A guy asked to buy me and drink and I said yes. After some flirty talking and two white wines, I was buzzed enough to ask him to come back to my house. I didn’t want my neighbor to see, so I had him duck down in the back of my dorky minivan. I can’t remember anything about this guy except that he was older and we fucked twice that night. I was always very “uptight” with my ex and I was always very prudish with him because I didn’t want him to think I was a slutty girl. I know that is crazy, but because I didn’t care about what this guy thought, it was going to be a one night stand and I was so relaxed. I just let go of my inhibitions and did things with him I never did for my ex. I let him go down on me, I let him fuck me doggy style, I rode him, and I went down on him. Then I did something uncharacteristic for me, I swallowed his load, two times. I actually told this guy that I wanted to swallow his cum. I never really drank, but I did this night and I was a tipsy girl. Being tipsy lowered my inhibitions and I liked that feeling.
I enjoyed my night so much that I decided to go a different bar the next night and picked up another guy. I went shopping for a new outfit and new underwear and new sexy shoes. I met a guy about my age and we chatted/flirted for a while, then I invited him to my house. When we pulled in my garage I told him my parents were home and that we needed to do it in the garage. I really wanted to use my ex’s tools and stuff. He had one of those things that mechanicals lay on and we fucked in several positions on that and then I swallowed his cum too. I took him back to the bar and then as I was driving home I had an urge. An urge for more and so I want to another bar. I met another guy and asked him home with me. I had now fucked in my garage and living room, so this time we fucked in my kitchen. I had whipped cream in the frig and I pulled that out for some fun and then swallowed his load too. Night three I went shopping again for new clothes, underwear and shoes, thanks ex! Another bar and another new man for me. We fucked in my loft. I took him back and needed a second again. Another bar and another man, the guest room this time. Nothing says I hate you more than fucking two strangers in one night. Night four was different. I met a man again, he was older too and I took him to my house like the first night. He was the kind of guy that I needed. He was confident in the bed and he took control of me. He wanted to know about my situation and my sexual experiences. He had some pot with him and we got high. I had only done that once before and I was so relaxed. We showered that night and we shaved my pussy. He called off work the next day and had sex all day. We fucked so many times and I kept swallowing his load after load. We “dated” for about two months and he introduced me to sex toys and pornography. He taught me to strip for a man, to masturbate for a man, and how to tell a man what I wanted. His confidence and control over me allowed me to do something I knew thought I would do, I allowed him to take pictures of me naked and then having sex with him. After seeing several sexy shots of me I agreed to let him video tape us. I lost my anal cherry to him on video. He tied me to his bed and filmed me in ecstasy as he teased and fucked me for over an hour. He filmed me riding a giant dildo as he fucked my ass. He filmed me masturbating so many times. Every night I would go to his house experience more of my sexuality and over that time he filmed hours and hours of me.
He gave me so much confidence about my sexuality that after I stopped seeing him I found it so easy to pick up a new man. In fact, I only stopped seeing him because he found out that I started picking up other men at bars about a month or so after we began seeing each other. I wasn’t bored with him, but I wanted the excitement of the “new” too. Just over two months from my ex leaving me and I was a new girl. I was no longer afraid of trying to meet a guy, in fact I knew I could get a guy any time I wanted, not being overconfident, but that I could find a guy in a bar that would be interested in going to have sex with me. It took him a few weeks to discover my sleeping around, so during that time I was fucking him and another guy almost every day. I had become a cum junkie and was swallowing load after load. He told me, “I have all those videos of you. It’ll be interesting to see what I do with them.” I didn’t care, my parents were both dead and my sister lived in Nevada. I kind of hoped my ex might somehow see them. I just moved on.
After he dumped me I went on a road trip of sorts. I spent ten days driving to, and around Texas meeting men. I stayed in some little motels each night, the kind that you park close to the door of your room. I stopped two nights on the way down and two on the way back. Each of those nights I met a man at a local bar and I met two men four of the nights in Texas and one on the other two. f******n strange men in ten days! I came back home and continued to meet men at local bars. It was amazing meeting men this way. At this point I began a sexual diary and I would get the guy’s phone numbers. On particular slutty nights I would make a booty call or two.
As the summer turned to fall and the days became shorter I found the longer nighttime hours particularly good for my undercover sex life. By October it had been five months since my ex left and I had met fifty-four men. For a girl who had barely touched five cocks in 30 years it was a wild time. By this time I had found a couple guys who would supply me pot for sexual favors. I found being a little drunk and a little high let me let go just a little more and I was willing to try things that the sober me might have found taboo. I had visited a nearby adult bookstore with a guy in September. I went back late one night by myself a few days later. I went back several times and became more and more secure in buying things there. I started with a movie or two, then some toys, some sexy clothes, then movies with other themes. I was looking in the magazine section one day when I stumbled across a swingers magazine. It had personal ads in it from local people, men, women, couples, groups. I bought it and that night I looked for men in my area code and began calling. I left a couple of messages and then I hit paydirt, a guy answered. I was nervous, but explained where I found his number. He was cool about it and we talked a while. It was 3:00 am when I headed out to his place. My first time having sex with a guy I had no idea who he was, and I was almost shaking with excitement. I got to his house and went up to the door, nervously. He answered and I went in. He turned out to be a great guy in his fifties, never married. He was another man that knew how to take control and I loved it. We fucked twice that night and I swallowed his load each time. The next day I called the number to place my own ad in the magazine. I got a little high before I called and I winged it. It went something like this, “Petite 30 year old blonde, perky tits, shaved pussy, tight body. I am often mistaken for being in my early 20s. Recently separated and recently finding my sexuality, looking for men, women, couples, groups for anything, everything. I want to explore the depths of my sexuality.” And I included my cell number. The guy asked if it wanted to add a picture and I said yes. He told me I could drop it off at his office and he would waive my account set up charges if I was willing to show him how “willing” I really was. I didn’t care about the cost, but performing sexual favors to get the ad in was deviant enough for me. I grabbed the sexiest picture I could find and headed over. The office was in a nondescript office building in a crappy neighborhood. He asked me to dress up as a schoolgirl, so I did. I went there and got a little high in the parking lot. I went in and he told me to prove I wasn’t lying in my ad. So I stripped for him, I masturbated for him; I went down on him, sucking his cock and balls. He asked me to lick his asshole and I did. Then he said something I never expected, “he told me to put on a strap on that he had on his desk and fuck him in the ass with it.” Petite little Karen ass fucking a big guy with a strap on, unheard of! As I fucked him in the ass he jerked off into a glass and then he began to pour it into his mouth. Then he turned around and began to kiss me and he let his cum flow from his mouth to mine. Then he told me to drink it and I did. Then he opened a bottle of wine and we both had a glass. We talked for a long time and the more I drank to more I told him about my new life and soon he was hard again and I was sucking his cock. I swallowed his load and then we drank some more wine and talked more and then he was hard again and I was sucking his cock again. I ended up staying there four hours that afternoon. When I got home I called the guy from the night before and went over to his place that night for more. The next day I continued to call men’s ads, over the next seven days I had met seven new men. Meeting men this was so different because there was no ambiguity to it, they knew what I wanted and I knew that they were perverted. The calls were interesting because when I called and told the guy where I got his number it would completely change the conversational tone of the guy from who is this girl calling me to “hey babe…”. The calls were always completely sexual, no surprise there. I started fucking two different men each night for while I visited my new best friend in his office each afternoon, since he never fucked me it allowed for me to have two men at night while I got my fill of his love juice. I swear that swallowing cum made me hornier, swallowing it made me want it more. For the next month or so I stayed with the men I knew, but then the issue with my ad came out and my cell phone started to ring every couple of days or so with a horny man on the other end of the line. It was funny because I would get many late night calls from drunk, horny men and I loved servicing their late night needs.
The first month of my ad I met twelve new men. When I was calling men I would start with my area code so that kept things close, but I was getting calls from men that were a little further out. I had driven to Indiana, Michigan, and Wisconsin for sex. I was enjoying the variety of my sex life so much. I was now shopping at several adult bookstores in the Chicagoland area and I found a couple more local swinger magazines and picked them up. I put ads into them as well, but this time for my picture I went way more professional. Since my first reluctance to have sex on video, now I was being filmed pretty regularly. I had met a guy who was a photographer and I went for a makeover before the pictures and brought over several sexy outfits. He took so many sexy shots of me. I sent two of the best and sexiest in the magazines for my ads. One was a quarterly magazine and the other was a monthly. I paid for a year in each one.
November brought ten new men into my sex life and December brought f******n more. I was fucking at least two men each day and swallowed their cum. Being such a petite girl I never had a normal menstrual cycle and I could goes months without one and when I did have it, it was very minor. This allowed me to fuck day in and day out.
Meeting men this way allowed for me to meet men who might be a little on the more adventurous side sexually, some might say they were perverted. One guy I met offered me a challenge, he showed me a gloryhole video and then he offered to pay me $250 to go to an adult bookstore in the city and go into a video booth with a gloryhole and suck cocks there. I was so into doing things that pushed the envelope. I would have done it for free, but getting paid to do it was even sluttier. I was in. We drove there together and we got high in the car, it was late, about 2:00 am. He gave me enough money for tokens for two hours of videos and I went in. His was the first cock to “pop” in, but it wasn’t the last. Three more visitors came that night too. In between visitors I drank wine, masturbated and got high. On the way back he was so talkative. He was saying things like, “You must really hate your ex-husband.” He wanted me to go back again another day and this time fuck the cocks too. He offered me $500, but I asked him for $1000. He said yes, so we went back two nights later. I brought condoms and I fucked him and two other cocks reverse standing in the booth. He wasn’t rich guy, so every month or two he’d call after he saved up enough money to pay me to go into the booth. I always went with him, but I went there alone a couple of times too! Over the timeframe of my house selling I went with him nine times!!! I opened a checking account in my name and deposited that money there for my future.
I met another guy who drove a van who always wanted me to suck him off as he drove around. I also wore many costumes, school girl, nurse, little red riding hood, and by now I had acquired a few wigs too. Sex in public was another favorite. I loved the thought that someone might happen by and see me while I was fucking. One guy I met worked as a janitor in a high school. It would be several years before I started teaching again, but if I ever was caught I wouldn’t be teaching now. He’d have me play student and he’d hate fuck me with such passion. We used many pieces of gym equipment!! I met a guy who liked to cum on food and watch me eat it. I had to get pretty fucked up when I went to see him, but I could never tell him no and I ended up there twenty three times that first year eating everything from strawberries to pizza covered in cum. I met guy who only would let me jerk him off and he would have specific costumes or wigs that he would want me to wear each time. I met a guy who would fuck me in a storm trooper costume from Star Wars while I wore a Princess Leia costume.
Then one day in November to my surprise I got a call from a woman. I never thought I was interested in sex with a woman, but we talked for about an hour and before I knew it she was ringing my doorbell. Things started slowly and sensually, lots of kissing and petting. We were drinking wine and I was already a little high and things continued to progress, clothes slowly were coming off. We were kissing all over each other and when she went down on me I came so fast. I returned the favor and licked her clit until she same. I came three more times that first night, we had sex for almost an hour, grinding our pussies together gave the most amazing orgasms. She worked nights and we spent many afternoons in fulfilling each other’s sexual needs. We talked a lot and soon we were sharing sexual stories and soon after we were sharing men. My little black book was quite large and I started setting up late night dates for the two of us after she got off work. What I didn’t tell her was that I was fucking a guy beforehand and sometime after too. After a few weeks of our fun I found out she had a boyfriend who was out of town and was now home and like that she was gone from my life.
By January I was sick of the winter around Chicago. I bought a magazine with more personal ads from around the country and began calling men around the Orlando area. I met three good candidates and reserved a flight, a hotel and a car. I spent a week down there having some amazing sex. Five of the days I fucked all three of them and the other two I fucked two of them.
On the one year anniversary of my ex leaving I blazed a new trail. I have often said that my first time with more than one man wasn’t until years later, but that’s a lie, well a partial lie. It was the first time I ever picked up more than one man in a bar. My first real time was night the one year anniversary of my ex leaving. I had plenty of men’s numbers and let face it, they knew me one way. So I just started calling me and asking if they would be interested in fucked me with another guy. It didn’t take as long as I thought and once I made a few calls asking was easy too. I bought a new sexy outfit and shoes for my first time. I bought a black pvc corset, black pvc panties, black pvc thigh high boots, and I wore my wedding dress over it all. I got a little drunk and a little high before the deed. Our date was at 11:00 and I was so excited. I asked them to meet me at a nearby parking lot and I went over and picked them up a snuck them in my house. I stripped out of my wedding dress and then dove right in, on the bed I shared with my ex. I was sucking them both off at once; I was a little drunk and a little high. Someone started to fuck me from behind and I sucked the other. I had been good with condoms since my first misadventure way back, but the changing of positions caused issues with this and soon I was riding bareback. These were the first uncondomed cocks I had since my ex-husband. I liked what I felt and almost wanted a creampie, but I held out I wanted to swallow two warm loads instead. I asked them for what I had been dreaming about, one in my ass and one in my pussy. I often hear than women feel bad about themselves afterward, that the guys think less of them. I didn’t care; I thanked them and took them back to their cars. I went home and I masturbated, a lot. I also got a booty call at 2:00 am and I went out and had another man! My house didn’t sell for six months and I set up a MFM gave me confidence to do it again. Eleven more times to be exact. Eleven MFM fucks! Ten were in my house and one was in the back of my dorky minivan!!
It was an interesting time in my life. I continued on in much the same manner until the house sold. My divorce to my ex wasn’t finalized until the house sold, so in effect each time I was with a man it was infidelity and I fucked each man with a burning revenge in my heart. I experimented with my sexuality and discovered things I liked. I learned to meet men, suck cock, to swallow cum, discovered anal, began masturbating regularly, I fucked white men, black men, Asian men, Hispanic men, and became particularly intrigued by Eastern European men and their usually large cocks. I got my bellybutton pierced, then got my first tattoo. I tried bondage several times with several men. I let a man clamp my nipples and drip wax on me. I was tied in many ways and whipped and fucked so well. I had sex in public bathrooms, cars, in the woods, in parks, on a golf course, and in the back of my minivan. I sucked and fucked strange cocks at a gloryhole and I had sex with more than one man at a time. The amazing thing was I did it all under the auspices that I was a good girl. I snuck around at all hours of the night, hiding in the shadows of my naughty self.
What I did was essentially wrong. I fucked over 200 strangers in an eighteen month period. During that roughly 550 day period I was fucked over 600 times and I swallowed almost every load of cum. My husband paid for it all, the clothes, the lingerie, the manicures, the pedicures, the waxings, the piercings, the tattoo, the flights, hotels and cars. In all, it was over $30K and he never said a word. I don’t even think he knew. I got half of everything and put it bank account. I could have bought a house, but I knew an apartment would be better…..
That is the next part of the story.