Part One: when I met a guy from xhamster

my most recent experience with a guy was over a year ago and it was with someone I met through xham. I'm not going to share his personal info in this post because I haven't asked for his permission. he and I "friended" each other on here and discovered that we don't live too far from one another we messaged occasionally and from my profile he knew that I was bi and submissive and I told him that I had sucked dick before and even though it had been a few years I told him that I would love to relive the experience. as is often the case we messaged back and forth and eventually we agreed to meet up. we met at business that was closed and that I had the key to.

I for one was a nervous wreck. it had been a few years since I'd been with a guy and I was actually hoping a little bit that he would no-show so that I would have an out. turns out he wanted a blow job as much as I wanted to give one and we talked for quite awhile about everything except for the the reason we met. we were in an office in the business and at one point he sat down in a chair behind a desk. I remained standing and looking out a window as we continued talking. I was so nervous. Part of me was terrified of someone coming to the business even though it was closed and I really didn't have to worry. Another part of me was nervous because i was afraid to start things. the submissive in me need to be told what to do and I just kept making small talk while hoping that he demand that I blow him.

he seemed to be just as nervous as me because even though he knew I was hoping to blow him and he'd been blown by a guy before he wasn't moving things along any faster than me. eventually I took a deep breath and walked around the desk towards him and said something like "if we're going to do this then we need to get started". I figured that since he wasn't going to tell me what to do I'd take the lead and hope that he'd enjoy having a greedy cocksucker willing to pleasure him.

imagine my surprise when after telling him we should start he swiveled the chair around toward me and he was sitting there naked from the waist down with a hard cock standing straight up staring at me. i was speechless and he must have seen my shocked look because he said something like "I went ahead and took my pants off so I'd be ready when you were". I don't remember if I said anything or not. I do remember that as I approached him I stared at his rock hard cock and got on my knees.

I don't know about anyone else but for me it is such a turn on to be kneeling when I suck a cock. it's like I'm showing my willingness to please and my devotion to the guy's cock. when I'm on my knees with a hard dick in front of me I am proving to the guy that I am there to be used for his pleasure. it similar to when I eat out a woman. for me it is a way to show my devotion and willingness to please and be used. when I'm eating a woman if she is on her back and when I'm not fingering her I love to reach up and put my hands and arms underneath her upper body. It's like i'm surrendering to her and letting her restrain my hands with her body while she fucks my face.

so there I am, a married guy, fully clothed, and kneeling before a half naked man with his cock inches away from my face. i remember telling him that it looked much better in person (he had a few pics of his cock on his profile) and that it was bigger than any of the cocks i'd ever sucked before. he chuckled and said "it's not that big" and no, it wasn't huge but it was definitely above average in length and girth. probably over 7 inches long and pretty thick. i remember being glad that he was well groomed and kept himself trimmed up. He had nice big balls and the last thing I wanted was to have to deal with licking hairy balls.

I was hoping that he'd grab me by the head and push himself into my mouth or at least tell me what to do but I knew from our messages that he wasn't really into being dominant. so i took the lead and leaned in closer and wrapped my lips around the head. I remembered that it had been a long time since I'd blown a guy and I'd forgotten how spongy a cock head his compared to the shaft.

it felt so soft as i pushed my lips against it. soft and very warm. as my lips wrapped tightly around the head my tongue moved forward on it's own and for the first time in a few years I tasted a hard cock on my mouth. I remembered thinking (as I always have when I'm with a new cock) that he smelled familiar and different at the same time. there is a distinct smell that all dicks have and it seemed so familiar. I was savoring it all. the taste, smell, and the texture of his cock head when I knew that I was where I belonged. No, not that I was meant to be with only men. I was where I belonged because I was submitting to someone else and being used to give pleasure.

When we had messaged I explained to him that I wasn't looking for any reciprocation. I told him that I really did get off on giving pleasure and loved the way being used made me feel. I wanted to prove to him just how eager I was to please and I gave it my all. I remember swirling my tongue around the head for awhile savoring the taste and the feeling of being his submissive little cocksucker. I remember that before I went too far down on him I pulled my lips from his cock and then with one hand I grabbed the base of his dick and licked up and down his cock and tried to cover all of it with my tongue. The head of his dick had felt warm against my lips and tongue but his shaft felt downright hot. I remember that I'd forgotten just how warm a cock was and I loved feeling it again. I wasn't teasing his cock with just the tip of my tongue. No, I was painting his cock with my tongue using broad strokes trying to cover all of it with my spit. From the head to the base of the shaft I licked all of it my tongue could reach.

I went all out to show him that I wanted him to feel good. I was determined to prove to him and to myself that I was a good and greedy cocksucker there to be used. After licking all of his cock that I could I put the tip back between my lips and at the same time I moved my hand from the shaft to his balls. I was leaning forward with my weight on my knees and one hand while with my other hand I cupped his balls. I remember how heavy they felt in my palm. Heavy and hot. The head of his cock had felt warm against my lips and tongue but his balls were hot just like the shaft. I remember thinking that his balls felt so heavy and hot that they must be full of cum. I tried to push that thought aside and concentrated on his dick again while I lightly massaged his balls.

As my lips parted and I took him into my mouth I remember thinking that I wanted to take it all into my mouth. This was the longest and fattest cock that I'd ever sucked and I was determined to show him how much I loved what I was doing. I know that when a girl blows me I get off on knowing she is gagging on me and I like the way a girls throat feels on the head of my dick. This was the first dick that I'd sucked that was close to my own size and I was determined to make him feel like that. I remembered everything I'd read in erotic stories about deep throating and I tried to relax my throat and at the same time relax my lower jaw.

I wanted to put on a good show for him. I hoped that he would be excited not only from the fact that he had a warm mouth around his cock but also from the enthusiasm I was showing. I went down further and opened my mouth wider which made it hard to try to relax my jaw but I was determined. I felt the head of his cock touch my throat and before I could react I choked and gagged. I thought I was ready for it. I had thought about it countless times and now I finally had a man-sized cock in my mouth and I'm gagging on my first try. I was disappointed in myself. I remember glancing up at him as I moved back down and he didn't look like he minded that I'd gagged. I bobbed up and down a few times trying to get used to the sensation and to try and get his dick nice and wet. Once I had his cock thoroughly covered in my spit I pushed my mouth down further again. Keeping my jaw relaxed didn't really require much effort now that I'd been sucking him for a few minutes so I tried to concentrate on relaxing my throat. I went more slowly this time and kept reminding myself that I had to prove to him that I wanted to be a good cocksucker

I took more on the second attempt. When I felt the head touch my throat I slowed even more and willed my throat to relax. It wasn't easy but I didn't choke and gag nearly as quickly that time. I actually pushed my head down further and felt him in my throat before coming back up. Damn. I was impressed with myself. I had actually taken almost all of his cock into my face. When I looked up at him I asked if I was doing ok and he said something like "oh yes, doing fine". I was still hoping that he'd grab my head and slam himself into my throat but since that wasn't happening I decided to try to take him all into my mouth.

I went down again a few times taking as much as I had before before I tried to go further. I had fantasized for years about once again having a cock in my throat and I was determined to make it happen