Things Brats May Say and/or Do

1. During wax play: Sing 'Happy Birthday To Me' and blow out the candle.

2. In the middle of an intense cropping, close your eyes and start to snore.

3. During a scene, do a Howard Cosell impression and provide a play-by-play account of what is being done to you.

4. If your dom/me tells you to 'Look me in the eyes', do it cross-eyed.

5. If your dom/me decides to do a verbal humiliation scene with you in public, stick your fingers in your ears and say 'Neener, neener, neener, I can't hear you!'.

6. Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning of a scene. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then call out your safe word.

7. If you're trussed up and ordered to count, inform your top you can't do it unless you can use your fingers and toes.

8. Hold up a scorecard after each blow delivered.

9. Tell your dom/me a better way to do whatever it is being done to you at that moment.

10. After a particularly hard blow, pretend to pass out. When your dom/me checks to see if you're OK, jump up and yell 'Gotcha!'

11. Go in the toy bag and superglue the nipple clamps shut.

12. Attach clappers to all the outlets in the dungeon just before a paddling (clap on... clap off...)

13. "Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.

14. Flipping your dominant off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have ways of knowing these things.

15. Kicking that toy you hate, far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wrist cuffs to your ankle cuffs and make you crawl for it... repeatedly.

16. Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire, fire!" during Master's lecture on fire play safety is considered rude.

17. Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing Grand Imperial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.

18. Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices his Japanese rope work on you will try his patience, quickly.

19. Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while your dominant is discussing your punishment is not wise.

20. Pretending Master's collection of butt plugs are toys and singing the "Weebles wobble, but they won't fall down" song is not a good idea.

21. Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.

22. "I know you are but what am I?" Is not the appropriate response when called a raunchy little whore during humiliation play.

23. "Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me", is an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.

24. When Master pulls out his bullwhip and says he wants to play, he doesn't mean hide-and-seek...he will find you eventually.

25. "Oh, and you think I am?" is an unacceptable response to hearing your dominant say he is not pleased.

26. During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over, moaning "Yes, Master" when ordered to fetch something.

27. Adding "Sir" or "Master" to "Fuck that plan!" will not save you.

28. Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better" under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.

29. Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Owner up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay BIG.

30. Asking "Is that as HARD as you can hit??" is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention workers.

31. When asked to explain your behavior, you say, “I am not a brat, I'm not I'm not I'm not!”

32. In the middle of an intense cropping, close your eyes and start to whinny like a horse.

33. You compliment your Dom/me on their mother's training techniques in the middle of a spanking.

34. If your dom/me tells you to 'Look me in the eyes', look at them and, in your best impression say, "FINISH HER!"

35. While during wax play: REPEATEDLY blow out the candle.

36. Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices his Japanese rope work on you will try his patience, quickly. And you are now a puppy and must ‘go’ on the paper.

37. Your Dom/me threatens to wallop your ass really hard because of your smart ass comments; you blurt out with no hesitation whatsoever... "Oooooh, I quiver with FEAR". Hard wallop commences.

38. You inch-worm away while tied shoulder-to-ankle, sing a made-up tune about inch worms, will not save one’s ass in the end.

39. Your Dom/me surprises you with the largest butt plug you’ve ever seen. You surprise them when you snap on a pair of gloves.

40. When your Dom/me asks you to wear something revealing, you respond, “"I did. This Star Fleet Uniform reveals a lot about my personality."

41. When your Dom/me is demonstrating the art of caning, you sing, “hit me with your best shot!” And, They Do!

42. You ask your Dom/me “is your hand sore, is that why you aren't hitting very hard today?'’Even expressed in a sympathetic tone, it doesn't go down well.

43. You call your Dom “Mr. Gray!” And live to regret that decision.

44. Your Dom/me tells you during a scene to give them ten compliments. You run out of ideas, and start saying things like, "Well you showered today, so you smell better than usual" and "Well your breath smells good...for once". Of which each comment resulted in a smack, of course.

45. Saying "beige" during a heavy scene, does not get you the wanted results.

46. Your Dom/me loves to say "Tell Me Something" that they haven't heard before or else you'll get it...however, you can only say, "I love you, so-so-so-so-so-so... much!”, so many times.

47. When your Dom/me says don't make them come over there to spank your ass, you respond ‘Ha Ha, I don’t believe you,’ and they accept the challenge.

48. You might be ‘Bratty’, when your Dom/me asks for you to get them a glass of milk, and on your return, you hand them your sippy cup.