My story a real story

my story
i was a young boy who wanted to be a girl wearing secretly girls clothes and dreaming of all the same things girls did. However i got catched and the result was immediately a catholic boarding school where i was made to be a man( a good looking sportive male all the girls wanted) . Ever since i struggled relationship after relationship .It never really worked Having sex with a woman felt always like being forced to do only one thing. Get her pregnant but i never felt any orgasm when my sperm arrived. It just came but no feeling . Every woman always told me that's my orgasm but why i never feel it? But i felt other things like my nipples hurting that i just had the need to touch and especially being touched . I get wet between my legs . But then every person i have been with never wanted to touch me or get more intimate(i felt like being forced to do my mans job even if i hated it) After getting married twice and having different girlfriends it never lasted and every time a woman would be infertile i would be completely disinterested( i guess it was a part of my programming when i was in boarding school)I never really wanted to be a boyfriend .I wanted to be a girlfriend and be with the other girls doing girls things. As older i get i feel more and more the desire to be a WOMAN. I got so jealous of anything female like clothing,hair,makeup and the worst was not being able to carry a c***d inside of me.I would have given anything for that. i still fight my demons and am scared but the desire to be a woman is just growing and growing. i am a professional artist and also work in landscaping and construction creating beautiful things for others. I wished i could be free of all this brainwashing programming they did to me when i was a boy and they found out i was transgender . To be honest i am scared of man and i love woman and everything that's female( i dream of a penis but not mine(i hate mine i would have loved to have a vagina instead) and i really need a real friend and someone who really shows me what good sex feels like.
Published by rhercule
2 years ago
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18
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DeeAngels
DeeAngels 3 months ago
JackFap420 has the very best advice, go and get therapy and You will create the Life That You Want to Have , All the best to you!!!
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Jackfap420 5 months ago
to rhercule : Just a advice, seek therapy and support groups, that's what really help, people who been studying our minds for a really long time and doing it for a living! Our friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/family can help only until certain point, the real help you'll get from a professional and if you can't reach personally try to do it online, and be brave! Don't fool yourself trying to live a life that doesn't make you happy! You are important and you deserve happiness!
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NimbleSpring8
NimbleSpring8 6 months ago
Very sorry to hear that.
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rhercule
rhercule Publisher 6 months ago
it is all i want . i am taking hormones for a while,which are very hard to get by the way(not very predictable because availability is  always changing), and got some breast  but it would be so much easier having someone supportive around. there is a lot of emotions hidden  inside.
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knk24u
knk24u 6 months ago
You need to get on HRT hun.  Throw away everything masculine and get on living as a woman.  It takes a long time to change and lots of patience (money certainly helps).  Just accept that you are who you are and get on with it.  I'm in my late 60's and quite passable now.  Electrolysis helps, and the hormone treatment is amazing.
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enomis84
enomis84 1 year ago
Me too...
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gaha25
gaha25 1 year ago
I really know the feeling it is smilar to mine  
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letusbe123
letusbe123 1 year ago
Gosh, I thought I was the only one who felt this way!
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knk24u
knk24u 1 year ago
OH my GOD !  We are so alike it's not even funny..... "I wanted to be a girlfriend and be with the other girls doing girls things. As older i get i feel more and more the desire to be a WOMAN. I got so jealous of anything female like clothing,hair,makeup and the worst was not being able to carry a c***d inside of me.I would have given anything for that. i still fight my demons and am scared but the desire to be a woman is just growing and growing."
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GAYLOPETTE
GAYLOPETTE 1 year ago
je partage ta détresse, nous on est des filles salopes avec une chatte anale grande ouverte pour prendre des bites crémeuses
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Lighthaify
Lighthaify 2 years ago
tu es FORMIDABLE,aie le courage et vis ta vie et prend et gére tes responsabités en tant que femme,,belle femme
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Yorkshirebrummy
Yorkshirebrummy 2 years ago
No one should have to suffer like this, I hope one day we can live in a world where we can all be whatever we want to be.
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shelli_k18
shelli_k18 2 years ago
share many of those feelings, still hide as male,
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litandel
litandel 2 years ago
how about it?
did you dacite to have that pussy ,finally 
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badboyt99
badboyt99 2 years ago
I wish I could make you feel like a real woman  x
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Citizenmars
Citizenmars 2 years ago
I hope one day you find what you’re looking for. Not just the sex part but living every minute as your female self. Being who you are on the inside and not just in the bedroom. It truly is hard being a woman everyday but if it is who you are I wish you all the best of luck. Kisses sweetie
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kehler185 2 years ago
Stephi, you are such a beautiful woman and I will help you feel and be the woman you have always wanted to be. I will make love to you as the woman you are!
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jeanot84
I think a lot of men share the same story as you. Kisses 
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