THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET






10 Fucking Limericks

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There once was a man from Nantucket,

Whose cock was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!

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There was a young man from Belgrave,

Who found a dead whore in a cave.

It must have taken pluck,

to have a cold fuck;

But think of the money he saved!

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There once was a man from Racine

who'd invented a fucking machine.

Concave or convex,

it fit either sex,

but boy, was it a bitch to keep clean.

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There was an old man of Duluth

whose cock was shot off in his youth.

He fucked with his nose,

and his fingers and toes,

and he came through a hole in his tooth.

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Soon in Paris, on the Boulevard Salique,

Yous should purchase (complet avec talic,

Pour soixante francs cinq)

A short hose and a tank,

And they call it Le Fuckeur Hydraulique

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There once was a lady named Lucky,

Who used dynamite to give herself fucky.

They found her vagina,

in North Carolina,

And one of her tits in Kentucky

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An exotic young lady named Suki,

Once danced in a troupe of kabuki,

When asked for a fuck,

he said, "Solly, no luck...

See here: looky looky, no nuki "

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Now written especially for Chuck,

On her nipples young Anna has SUCK.

For young Chuck is as thick

As two planks or a brick;

Yes, you've guessed it; her pussy reads FUCK.
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It's not that she minds if his prong

Or his tongue on occasions go wrong,

But she's full of despair

'Cause he's SO unaware

That she's now had to label his DONG.

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I fuck her low,

I fuck her high,

I fuck her wet, I fuck her dry,

And when she's dead and long forgotten,

I will dig her up, and fuck her rotten

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While screwing his wife, Dr. Zuck

In his ears his wife's nipples he stuck.

With his thumb up her bum,

He could hear himself come,

And invented the Radio Fuck!




















Published by Terri3d
6 years ago
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58
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kily30
kily30 11 months ago
thanks too funny.
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CameronFrye
CameronFrye 1 year ago
Found a book at an estate sale a few yrs back called - The Lim3rick. A collection of 1,700 of these ditties - total of 500 pages.  What astounded me was how far back they go historically.  
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CameronFrye
CameronFrye 1 year ago
to jpdmb : There once was a man from Boston, who drove a very small Austin. He had room for his ass and a gallon of gas, but his balls fell out and he lost them.  
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lurker1943 2 years ago
Loved that
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xx1236
xx1236 2 years ago
SOME good one some i had hear before  A+
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SirSonnybandland 2 years ago
yery good to see all of these togeather!!!!!
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Stiltskins 2 years ago
it USED to be a girl from Nantucket   l o l
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Staminax10
Staminax10 2 years ago
Very funny yet so stupid half my laughter was at what I read and the other half at myself for finding it so humorous. 
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Joesch69
Joesch69 2 years ago
lmao it's so funny i love it
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Stiltskins 2 years ago
EXCELLENTE!
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xx1236
xx1236 3 years ago
Nice to hear them again
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HerrPeterHH
HerrPeterHH 4 years ago
Amüsant und gut
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blrmkr_2000
blrmkr_2000 4 years ago
Excellent!
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andyt29
andyt29 4 years ago
Nantucket gift shops sell hats and shirts with references to that
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Poet-PETER
#10: "LEEF 'N LEID IN LEMIESJ: "NE LEMIERSE LÖMMEL HEI VIEF MÓJ MÄDSCHESJ ONGER SIEN HOOD
DREI DERTEEN, ZWEE ZWÖLLEF - ZWEE JAHR SJPÄTER WAREN SIE SCHON ZWÖLLEF IN SIEN HOOF!
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Poet-PETER
#9: W GLIZNE WELKJE MESKA MECZYZN POD NAZWISKE "MALZ" - BO BYL Z 'JEZIORKIEM KAMIENNYM 
W BYTOWIE BRAL SLUB Z DWIEWIUDCE KAROLINKO MAGIERA  BLONDINECZKA NA 'DAREM MLODZIERZE' 
BOGATA BLONDINA BOSMANKA PODAROWAL MU CZWORO DZIEWICY - NA JEBANIE TUZYN ROK PÓZNIEJ
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Poet-PETER
#9: W GLIZNE WELKJE MESKA MEZ POD NAZWISKE MALZ - BO BYL Z JEZIORKU KAMIENNYM 
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Poet-PETER
#8: BIE DE BEECH BEKENT MIEN  MOEI MESTREECHS MESKE 
ZIENE ZINNELEKE GEILE GEDACHTES AN MENIER DE PREES
DER UT SAAG: "AAFBIDDE NOE! - OF GEESTE MIT DE BEIN BREIT?"
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Poet-PETER
#5: "LECK MICH AM ARSCH .. "LÄRMT DER DREISSIGE DREIZIGER 
"KÜSSE MEINE KLITZI, KLENE" SAGT SIE - "MACH MIR FERTIG MEIN SCHATZLI"
"MACH DICH VUT, DU DUMPLI!" ('CARNIVAL IN COLOGNE' :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:)

#6: "ZRÓB MI KONMI- , KOCHANIE MÓJ" - "LUTSZ MÓJ KREGOSLUB LUB KUTASIK" 
GDZIE TO MASZ TEGO? MILY MÓJ? - JA NIC NIE WIDZE KTÓRE STÓJ!" :frowning: (po POLSKU)

#7: PEDRO PANICA PER PERRO - SOY SANTA PEDRO SANCHEZ SIN DON QUIXOTE 
PEDRO PANICA ME GUSTO GUAPKA BLANCA - A GODER 'PER PERRO' - POR FAVOR! 
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Poet-PETER
NOT BAD, BUT I CAN BEAT THAT IN FIVE OTHER TONGUES IF I THINK FOR A MINUTE ...: 
I PROPOSE WHY GET OUR RHYMES FROM EURASIA FOR A CHANGE OF NAMES & CHICKS:

#1: A TERRIBLE ENFANT CALLED PETER - SPRINKLES HER DAD'S BED BY BEETLES - 
HIS DAD GETS MAD - PETE'S BUMS BEATEN BAD - AND 'PETEE' GETS OUT TO MEET 'R

#2: UN ENFANT NOMMÉ PIERRE PENILE - PRENDS SA SOEUR SANS DOULEUR 
SA MAMAN JALOUSE DE SON PARTOUSE - PRENDS SA BITE POUR BONHEUR!

#3: EINE GEILE KLEINE SEHT SEIN SCHWESTERCHEN GESCHWÄNGERT VON PAPA 
ER HOLT SICH EIN ZWEI DREI 'RUNTER - WARNT MAMA - SIE MACHT IHM MUNTER

#4: QUATTRO  QUERULENTI BELLI BIONDI BRUTALAMIENTE BESTINACJA - QUALLA PROBLEMA
QUATTRO! - QUESTA ZONA, PREGO?  - PER TUTTI ZONE AMICE MIO! :grinning:
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Terri3d
Terri3d Publisher 4 years ago
to therj : hahaha
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therj
therj 4 years ago
I want you to come to my house,  so i can lift up your blouse.  I will treat you like a slut, by fucking your butt. Then I will cum in your mouth
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therj
therj 4 years ago
There once was a man from my place, that wanted to cum on your face.  He wants to rip your panties off and shove his hard fucking cock right up your tight asshole.  Oops, messed it up lol
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cltprofguy 4 years ago
ha ha....good stuff...
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doitnow263
doitnow263 4 years ago
That is some funny stuff...thanks for the levity :smile:
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Terri3d
Terri3d Publisher 4 years ago
to YouNMe1969 : Not sexual? Funny though. I think that was Andrew Dice Clay
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NotTooLarge 4 years ago
There was a young man from Kent
whose cock was exceedingly bent.
To save all the trouble,
he'd put it in double,
but instead of cumming, he went.
Reply
YouNMe1969
Not sexual but ....
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey (yogurt)
Along came a spider
and sat down beside her
and said ....
"What ya go in the bowl Bitch?!"
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2bornot2b
2bornot2b 4 years ago
ya ever hear about the party?  it's kinda long if you want to hear it
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NicoleXTC
NicoleXTC 4 years ago
Love this!
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