About the boobs
Since I get this A LOT, I thought maybe I'll write it down once and for all...
My boobs. Boooooobs. They look good. I know, right? They're not real. I mean, yes, they exist. Currently in a box under my desk. But when they're not boxed, they are on top of my skin and not under my skin. Simple: on top of skin = "not real", under skin = "real". Self grown with hormones = "real real". Self grown by not being male at birth = "real real real".
Why do they look real, and what magical item must you buy to get the same effect? What dark magic am I dealing with?
Let's get the facts out first:
1. made in China. (imagine saying China like Trump does)
2. company is called Roanyer and the owner is a cute Chinese crossdresser with a Youtube channel.
3. Cup size is E (as if that means anything really).
4. skintone is called "normal" or "natural" (I know... white equals natural... not racist at all)
5. price was around 200 euros or 220 dollars (say Dollars like Ru Paul does)
6. I got them before Corona and even if, the virus does not care much for fake boobs (it just wants to eat all your toilet paper)
The big question: why do they look so good? Answer:
-position
-light
-makeup
-camera
-clothing
-posture
-style
1. position: natural grown boobs have an intimate relationship with gravity, the force that keeps you from shooting cum into your own eyes (you don't want that, believe me). So they hang looooow on the chest. They do not float right below your collarbones. A simple rule of thumb: look where your male nipples are. The female nipples should be lower, not higher. And the bigger the boobage the lower the nipple. A bit harder to influence is width. If you stand naked in front of the mirror (the mirror, not the window you pervert) and look at the sides of your chest, breasts would stick out at the sides slightly or at least be just as wide. They should not be little ping pong balls centered in the middle. Your chest is probably significantly wider than a female chest, so good looking boobs would be even wider. Summary: low and wide. Just like your mother.
2. light: Rubber boobs and human skin (your own, not your collection in the basement) react differently to light. My boobs have a silicone gel filling that transmits light. If I shine a real bright light from the side they look hollow, waxy like a candle. Avoid that. Try
2 light sources, one from 45° angle relative to the camera and one from 45° behind you. In "clock-speach" camera is a 6 o'clock, light 1 is at 7.30, light 2 at 1.30 to 2 o'clock. Light 1 should be stronger and warm. Light 2 can be colder.
3. makeup: Human skin has blood running through it (check if uncertain), it is not evenly colored, the direction of light and the viewing angle can change how it looks. And it can change over the course of a photo session, gets redder, glossy with sweat, etc. If you go out (the outside is where people used to walk on "streets" before the virus. I hear it is a strange world filled with idiots) your skin cranks up the melanine production and gets darker. Your rubber boobs do not. Maybe they'll melt. I don't know. Just don't go out in the bright daylight with your breastplate. Sorry, went off course. Makeup. Your skin is too real, make it fake too. Cover it up with lots of stuff, foundation, powder, liquid rubber, whatever fits the color of the breastplate. You cannot make the breastplate look like skin, but you can make your skin look fake, like Kim Cardashian. Quick tip: cover up beard shadow with red, then put your skintone foundation on top of it carefully. Don't rub it in or else you'll mix both and end up looking like Miss Piggy. Unless that's what you want and your breastplate has more than 2 boobs. You pig.
4. camera: Usually I would say use a good camera, but in this case naaaah. Use your shitty webcam. It will look much better. One thing about all digital cameras you should know: they don't see the exact same wavelengths of light that we do. All cameras can see near infrared. They use a filter to block it out again, but these filters are not exact. The result is that certain colors will look different in a cam compared to a mirror. Put on your makeup through your webcam. Not literally. On a Mac use "Photobooth": it automatically mirrors the image, so you won't smear your lipstick on your ears. On a PC use OBS and mirror the image through the filters.
5. clothing: Since the dawn of mankind, humans have used clothing to cover up their ugly parts to protect them from the sun, harsh criticism and creatures with sharp teeth. As a result these parts (and their egos) are a lot less bruised and tanned. The skin on your neck and your shoulders will never have the same color. Accept that. DO NOT CHOOSE the breastplate skintone based on the color of your tummy or arms. Go for ze neck. Ittastes works much better. Cover up the shoulders, use a choker on the neck and a corset below the boobs.
6. posture: Ok this is hard. Have you ever seen a AFAB (assigned female at birth) run around hunched forward like a caveman? No. Not outside of [insert place here that everyone in your country makes fun of] you haven't. They walk upright and straight. Even the queer ones. You need to learn what a straight pose actually feels like, your body needs to remember it. Try yoga, it helped me learn how to be straight (pun intended). When you put on heels they make you taller and sometimes your instinct tells you make yourself smaller. Resist it. Stand proud and tall.
7. style: Well, I can't help you with taste and style. Try to learn from what you see. There are incredible photos on this site by talented people. Mimick what they do. The light, the pose, composition of the picture. Look outside of Reddit. Pinterest is a huge site with millions of tasteful pictures. Immerse yourself with good taste. Maybe something rubs off. If it smells and has a brownish color it is not taste, rather something you picked up on the "street". Why did you even go outside?!? Stay home and wash your dick. And your hands.
8. you didn't expect this one :) Photoshop: It is like the good friend at the party that stayed sober. The one that collects your garbage for you, removes the cum stains from your clothes, drives you home, puts you into bed and adjusts the skintone of your breastplate to your actual skin. Hm, you don't have a friend like that? Well neither do I, but I would be willing to be yours for a humble fee. Ahem. None of the pics you see in the ads are untouched, they're all corrected to a certain degree. Why shouldn't you do the same? Just don't go overboard with making your eyes bigger, that is just... wrong.
My boobs. Boooooobs. They look good. I know, right? They're not real. I mean, yes, they exist. Currently in a box under my desk. But when they're not boxed, they are on top of my skin and not under my skin. Simple: on top of skin = "not real", under skin = "real". Self grown with hormones = "real real". Self grown by not being male at birth = "real real real".
Why do they look real, and what magical item must you buy to get the same effect? What dark magic am I dealing with?
Let's get the facts out first:
1. made in China. (imagine saying China like Trump does)
2. company is called Roanyer and the owner is a cute Chinese crossdresser with a Youtube channel.
3. Cup size is E (as if that means anything really).
4. skintone is called "normal" or "natural" (I know... white equals natural... not racist at all)
5. price was around 200 euros or 220 dollars (say Dollars like Ru Paul does)
6. I got them before Corona and even if, the virus does not care much for fake boobs (it just wants to eat all your toilet paper)
The big question: why do they look so good? Answer:
-position
-light
-makeup
-camera
-clothing
-posture
-style
1. position: natural grown boobs have an intimate relationship with gravity, the force that keeps you from shooting cum into your own eyes (you don't want that, believe me). So they hang looooow on the chest. They do not float right below your collarbones. A simple rule of thumb: look where your male nipples are. The female nipples should be lower, not higher. And the bigger the boobage the lower the nipple. A bit harder to influence is width. If you stand naked in front of the mirror (the mirror, not the window you pervert) and look at the sides of your chest, breasts would stick out at the sides slightly or at least be just as wide. They should not be little ping pong balls centered in the middle. Your chest is probably significantly wider than a female chest, so good looking boobs would be even wider. Summary: low and wide. Just like your mother.
2. light: Rubber boobs and human skin (your own, not your collection in the basement) react differently to light. My boobs have a silicone gel filling that transmits light. If I shine a real bright light from the side they look hollow, waxy like a candle. Avoid that. Try
2 light sources, one from 45° angle relative to the camera and one from 45° behind you. In "clock-speach" camera is a 6 o'clock, light 1 is at 7.30, light 2 at 1.30 to 2 o'clock. Light 1 should be stronger and warm. Light 2 can be colder.
3. makeup: Human skin has blood running through it (check if uncertain), it is not evenly colored, the direction of light and the viewing angle can change how it looks. And it can change over the course of a photo session, gets redder, glossy with sweat, etc. If you go out (the outside is where people used to walk on "streets" before the virus. I hear it is a strange world filled with idiots) your skin cranks up the melanine production and gets darker. Your rubber boobs do not. Maybe they'll melt. I don't know. Just don't go out in the bright daylight with your breastplate. Sorry, went off course. Makeup. Your skin is too real, make it fake too. Cover it up with lots of stuff, foundation, powder, liquid rubber, whatever fits the color of the breastplate. You cannot make the breastplate look like skin, but you can make your skin look fake, like Kim Cardashian. Quick tip: cover up beard shadow with red, then put your skintone foundation on top of it carefully. Don't rub it in or else you'll mix both and end up looking like Miss Piggy. Unless that's what you want and your breastplate has more than 2 boobs. You pig.
4. camera: Usually I would say use a good camera, but in this case naaaah. Use your shitty webcam. It will look much better. One thing about all digital cameras you should know: they don't see the exact same wavelengths of light that we do. All cameras can see near infrared. They use a filter to block it out again, but these filters are not exact. The result is that certain colors will look different in a cam compared to a mirror. Put on your makeup through your webcam. Not literally. On a Mac use "Photobooth": it automatically mirrors the image, so you won't smear your lipstick on your ears. On a PC use OBS and mirror the image through the filters.
5. clothing: Since the dawn of mankind, humans have used clothing to cover up their ugly parts to protect them from the sun, harsh criticism and creatures with sharp teeth. As a result these parts (and their egos) are a lot less bruised and tanned. The skin on your neck and your shoulders will never have the same color. Accept that. DO NOT CHOOSE the breastplate skintone based on the color of your tummy or arms. Go for ze neck. It
6. posture: Ok this is hard. Have you ever seen a AFAB (assigned female at birth) run around hunched forward like a caveman? No. Not outside of [insert place here that everyone in your country makes fun of] you haven't. They walk upright and straight. Even the queer ones. You need to learn what a straight pose actually feels like, your body needs to remember it. Try yoga, it helped me learn how to be straight (pun intended). When you put on heels they make you taller and sometimes your instinct tells you make yourself smaller. Resist it. Stand proud and tall.
7. style: Well, I can't help you with taste and style. Try to learn from what you see. There are incredible photos on this site by talented people. Mimick what they do. The light, the pose, composition of the picture. Look outside of Reddit. Pinterest is a huge site with millions of tasteful pictures. Immerse yourself with good taste. Maybe something rubs off. If it smells and has a brownish color it is not taste, rather something you picked up on the "street". Why did you even go outside?!? Stay home and wash your dick. And your hands.
8. you didn't expect this one :) Photoshop: It is like the good friend at the party that stayed sober. The one that collects your garbage for you, removes the cum stains from your clothes, drives you home, puts you into bed and adjusts the skintone of your breastplate to your actual skin. Hm, you don't have a friend like that? Well neither do I, but I would be willing to be yours for a humble fee. Ahem. None of the pics you see in the ads are untouched, they're all corrected to a certain degree. Why shouldn't you do the same? Just don't go overboard with making your eyes bigger, that is just... wrong.
2 года назад
Stay safe, strong, beautiful, and sexy!!