The Desire

If necessity is mother of invention, desires could very well deliver discovery. I was a quintessential teenager when I had first realization of what meant be a woman. I still remember those early days of innocence. But even in those innocent years something lurked inside me, somewhat devious in its machinations, hideous in its execution. When I look back it baffles me to think was it really me doing those things.

Never a diva, I was a slender slightly fairer only other “mallu” girl in the school, who did well enough in studies to be in good graces of the teachers. However, many in my school wouldn’t even remember me now had it not been for the videos. With them popping up now and then like mushrooms, meant high school reunions an absolutely no go for me.



Everyone wants to be desired, more so in those teenage years when you are trying so hard to create an identity for oneself, I was no different. But no one ever brought me flowers or even letter. I was in that group of non-existent groups of girls in every school which boys, make pithy jokes about and other girls consider disgrace to socialize. The only time some guy would walk up to me when they needed notes and once done conveniently forgotten.

The premise of going to an internet café was to study and I did learn few life lessons there. Discovered porn and realized, how biology textbooks had taken all the fun out of sex. Seeing those strong men and women locked in passion was only thing that got me though nights of dreaming desiring plotting my own tales of sexual fantasies.
I also realized world was a lonely place. Social norms caged people and online chatrooms were conduits to freedom. In that shady realm I made acquaintance with cooldude69 who wasn’t born in 1969 or neither was 69 years old, and when he explained what 69 meant it literally had flames shooting inside me. I made a mental note to do it when I have sex after marriage.

Latter cooldude69 explained I need not wait till marriage to experience a 69.
We began exchanging photos and boy I was floored by his looks. I was so naïve I didn’t realize the picture he sent was not his but some model until I met him for real. But my biggest take away for once a guy complimented that I was sexy. I honestly believed I found my soul mate and that we would live happily after. Our chats were growing mush after a time both economics and biology pushed us to meet.

The meeting was a shocker because cooldude69 had lied through his teeth about everything. He was older late 20s, named Ahmed was a labour contractor and wasn’t exactly an NRI as he touted. Clearly, he was a different person than what he claimed online.
Given that we had decided to meet at a town nearby instead where we lived meant I had to wait for some time for the return bus. He suggested despite his lies, I still have date with him for old time sakes. Coercion was his hall mark and found it hard to say no, in fact such was his spell I would hardly say no to anything that evening.
Post tea and snacks he offered to drop me till the bus stop on his bike , while driving his bike he suggested since he was going to drive to same place as I was it made more sense to come with him and save some bucks. As we reached our town, he suggested I see his place and I went.

Things turn hazy once in his room on how it all started it was joke , I smiled , he complimented he looked into my eyes and I looked into his and next moment we were kissing, first lips and then tongues. Next, he lifts me up carries me and flings me on the bed. Before I have caught my breath, he pulls off the strings of my pyjama and in no time, I am naked below my waist. Things move fast as if possessed by some primitive form of desire, I opened his shirt. We follow it with passionate kissing, his hands grabbing my tiny ass, hard enough to that my stinky hole is exposed.
In a quick slight of hands, he pokes his middle finger in my butthole while at the same time kissing. Initially I resist such probing by his fingers, but I just go with the flow and soon middle finger is amicably lodged between and from then on like a probe on mission it proceeds to explore my clit. He was considerably bigger than my frame so he could spin and play around.



In time we are completely naked and just kissing each other’s lips like two possessed b**sts. He stops and looks me in the eye and then pushes me down and I just kneel till my head is right at the level of his gorgeous erection. He dangles it just brushing tip between my nostrils and upper lips. The mild cheesy stench revolting to some may be was turning me on. He keeps dangling it rubbing it’s tip on my forehead and the unto cheeks, his pre cum sticking to my skin wherever it touched my face, as if he were marking his territory.
He finally settles it on my pink lips , he gently guides his manhood all over my lips lining my lips with his precum, finally he puts in the parting of lips and pushes gently and my mouth opens up as a reflex. He goes in, I get that salty metallic taste as I start salivating in my mouth. He retracts and then pushes again, the taste getting stronger with every push. With every push he goes slightly deeper in my mouth. He holds my head in place holding my hairs and the starts fucking my mouth.As he gets deeper, I gag and cough, so hard tears roll out of my eyes. He lets me breathe and moment and then resumes, this time makes suck his sweaty balls too.

In few minutes however we had gotten into a tandem where he could go into a fast action, I understood resisting was futile, so let do what he knew best.


After some time, he stops, lifts me up and throws me on the bed, I fall back first with legs spread. He ceases the moment and begins kissing me on mouth which seconds ago were sucking his dick. He continues downward kissing my neck, breasts, torso navel, the inner thighs and finally my mildly hared pussy. He plays with my clit and is about to probe with his fingers when I feign a protest.
He smiles not today dear, I remember. We had discussed this over chat that while I was interested in sex I in no way wanted to lose my virginity before marriage. He too seemed to understand my concern and had assured there were things that could be done keeping my virginity intact.
As the train of thoughts rant through my mind , he by a swift motion just turned my around , now back was facing him .He grabs my butt cheeks hard and parts them ,bites on them, kisses randomly all over and then starts probing my butt hole with his thumb. He then spits on my butt hole and before I could anticipate what might happen, he inserts his thumb in my butt. “Oh, dear lord maker of the universe”, it was like that very moment life force went out of my body and came back.

I recoiled trying to get away from it, but his thumb was lodged. He drove in and the pain continued. I barely had any strength to shout could only mutter a no. He removed his thumb but had still me in that position. He came down and began kissing my butt hole which after the fingering was such a welcome change. I thought the worst was over, and began grooving in it

But when i looked back and to my horror he was positioning his cock head and kept saying no nooo .. he just inserted the cock head into my butt, if the thumb was painful this seemed will split me in two halves .He remained in position trying to go deeper but my body seemed to have a greater resolve this unnatural penetration of hole that was never designed to take in anything after all. But he kept on it head in head out, his hairy thighs brushing against mine.

I had submitted to his will. After a few just when my butt had become almost numb, he eased and pulled me up, face up again with his dick. He positions the dick again on my mouth. I gasp in shock protest “wait you can’t do that it was in my ass”, he chuckled “yea your ass not mine”. And just when I opened my mouth in protest, it was all in. The poopy smelly dick was all in my mouth.


Then in a minute it was all over , he came all over my face. His cum was in my mouth on my face, on my hair on body.


He collapsed tired, I plonked. I wondered what had become of me. This was no fairy tale love yet somehow, I didn’t feel sad, there was a sense of joy and accomplishment. Someone will say violation, but I felt I just arrived at the scene.
He then cleans me up and drops me at home. We parted but we both knew this far from over.
It was just the beginning.

Over next few days, he showed things I could do with my mouth, things he could do with his. I wasn’t ready for full blown Anal, so he sourced an Anal plug.


Mind you this is early 2000s in India’s hinterlands. There was no Amazon shipping then how such a contraption was sourced baffles me till today. The only thing more baffling though the troubles I was ready to go through to get it and use it.
Well you see the Internet Café owner who was in cahoots with my lover was the endpoint of a long supply chain spanning perhaps two continents and five countries. So that was easy and neatly done. I open the package at home and faced with next problem, how do I use it. It looked like a doorknob and it was supposed to go into my butt.
My pal suggested I seek the café owner yet again, seems he was multitalented and apart from skills to manage a café which was to sit at a counter like a careless moron , he had skills to install various kinds of hardware from web cam to an anal plug.
So, when a shameless pre-adolescent girl aka me, shows up at his door, which he btw knew I would, he rolls up his sleeves and motions me to a room upstairs.
The room which was a shanty makeshift studio with some tables chair and mattress. He has an apprentice. As instructed, I bend and lift off my skirt and yank my panties down to show my butt.

He like an experienced Doctor, sanitizes the little slug and then applies lubricant to my butt hole and then pushes the slug in me and it just slips in. Lo behold the anal plug was installed. In my mind that was a medal of slutti-eré .

Of-course these services didn’t come free. So, first time charge was some lose fondling of my breasts and in due course of time culminated in full blown oral and anal sex. Thus, new acquaintances were made, and new alliance forged.

So now began my daily visits to the café morning to install and in evening to remove it. If I found it troubling, I said it to myself it was all needed to protect my virginity. All my guys agreed this was the right thing to do.
Soon I was mingling with all three, it was pure pleasure no more a business relationship. While the café owner and his apprentice collaborated, my Pal enjoyed some exclusive time before he involving his older brother as well. I was progressing in the slut ladder climbing new highs.

My ass was now used to four kinds of dicks, I had blown them so many times could identify each with their distinctive taste. In fact i acquired a taste for semen . Had my first blow bang anal gang bang .
It was all team effort after all.


Anyways I was getting more confident, more adversarial more of a brat. The guys who made jokes on me knew they better shut up.

For good or worse those days were an adventure and it felt anything, and everything is possible.
When you are that high every illogical idea seems doable and your sense of sensing trouble disappears. They say always trust your instincts, but what’s not told is trust them only when you are sober. If you are high be it on d**gs or sex driving hormones, instincts are the last thing anyone should trust.
During these days, my pal seeded an Idea that I had the looks and panache to make it big in the movie industry. He suggests I leave school and run away with him. He tells stories of his contact in Kolkata who could give me big break. He makes videos, takes photos at the pretext of sharing them with some big shot or other. Also, I had no idea how café owner too cameras at his place had to shoot our sex sessions.

One fine day my pal says that it was the D -day and we had to leave for Kolkata, but there was one small hurdle, we needed to raise about one million rupees to survive etc. So, offered to sneak some from my home, but he said it won’t be enough. He said there was one way though.
With a frown on his face he suggested what if I was ready to auction my Virginity. Kolkata is hot bed for brothels and there is a thriving black market where such things happen. He assured me that given he was to marry me in the long run, my losing virginity to some one if furthers our cause didn’t bother him. So, it was all on me, If I agreed and I was eighteen so he could make the arrangements.
I know how dumb one has to be to not see though that, well when you are eighteen and just lived in one town all your life in bubble of goodness by caring parents at times you turn out dumb and gullible.
So, I run off with this guy and got myself auctioned. Pose naked like a wildling, men check your skin for scars and moles, check the teeth, and most important the hymen and all intact ,bidding begins. Money changes hands.


It was late in evening sitting in that brothel, seeing the condition of the workers their look of despair causes a churn in my stomach. When someone says from tomorrow, I start, I say it’s just for a night. They laugh, “your man’s gone” says one. You see he was their old customer and benefactor of the brothel, trafficking gullible women by selling them dreams was a trick that always worked like a charm.

As I was being bathed and made ready for my first night, I realized I needed to act fast else I would just be a lost girl. I needed a moment and my mind was sane and got into a hyper alert. Fight or Flight. I couldn’t fight the bouncers, or the people and fleeing was the only option.
As they say luck favours the brave, and I got lucky. Just a moment I was left alone unguarded, I caught my purse which had few hundred bucks may be and I just dashed, down to street and began walking fast but where do I go. It’s a new town, I don’t even speak their language. Also, if I start asking directions it was bound to raise suspicion. So best was to lose my self in the crowded melee of people.
But in a red-light area a lonely woman walking draws every one’s eyes. Someone jeering and asking “ashbe ki “probably meant come with me, and such many a slang in the native language.
Then I hear a commotion a bunch of men seemed to rushing hurriedly through the people apparently searching for some one that seemed to have got away. I knew I would be in trouble if caught. It was just matter of moment some one alerted them about me.
I kept going trying to escape their view and just about reached a round about when a strong arm grabs me from behind and pulls me to a dark corner and puts covers my mouth.
I realize he was one of the bouncers from the brothel. This is how it ends I thought, in that moment my life flashes before me. I try to fight him, but my attempts were futile.

But Hakim Khan the bouncer brings me back to senses, motions me to keep quiet and stops a taxi and gives directions to Howrah Station.
My captor turned out to be a God send Saviour. I had escaped!

He bought me tickets some food for the journey, he doesn’t say much no lecture, no life lesson. He knew as well as I knew this experience was lesson enough for a lifetime.
Safe in my home I find in my parents two compassionate human beings who forgave all my follies and took me with open arms. I revealed as much as I could. My parents sought help of a local Godfather and let’s say things were taken care as officially as possible.

My Pal and the café owner’s operation was shut down but not before my videos were leaked and circulated around, shared, and enjoyed by young and old alike.
We had no recourse but to leave town and move to my native. This was a crisis brought by me, yet the family stuck together.

In life second chances are rare and I had got one, I vowed to start afresh and the only way to do was to reign in my slutty side.I was successful well mostly barring a couple of incidents my sex life remained un-eventful for next five years. I completed my education and got a job at an IT firm. I did want to break free but my parents sensed it and was married off. This seemed to be welcome relief as I believed now I would have a man for my needs.
Thus the past and its demons could rest in peace.

But then past always catch up and buried demons rise from the ashes.