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Women love what they hear; men love what they see. This is why women apply cosmetics and why men lie.’… Ler mais

Q: What is so ironic about Atheists? A: They're always talking about God.… Ler mais

A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil greets him, "You may choose which room you wish to enter. Whichever you choose, the person in that room will switch with you. They'll go to heaven and you'll take over until somebody switches with you. So go on, pick a room." The devil leads him to the first room where someone is tied to a wall and is being whipped. The second room has someone being burned by a torch. The third has a man getting blown by a naked woman. "I choose this room!" the man says. "Very well," the devil says. He walks up to the woman and taps her on the shoulder. "You can go now. I… Ler mais

A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in whiskey curled up and died. "All right, son." asked the father, "what does that show you?" "Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."… Ler mais

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded, "I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."… Ler mais

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of d**g use and pursued them to give up d**gs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up d**gs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used… Ler mais

Q: Who makes more money a heroin dealer or a prostitute? A: A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack, and sell it again!… Ler mais

There was a cat by the lake and a sausage came floating by the cat put its paw in and wet its paw. Then a few minutes later a bigger sausage came floating by and the cat fell in. The moral of this story the bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy.… Ler mais

Q: What did the penis say to the vagina? A: Don't make me cum in there.… Ler mais

Q: Why is a vagina just like the weather? A: When it's wet, it's time to go inside… Ler mais

DAUGHTER: Mum! MUM: Whats wrong? DAUGHTER: I am worried. MUM: Why are you? DAUGHTER: Hair is growing here (between my legs). MUM: Wow! that place where hair is growing is "monkey", so be proud of it. DAUGHTER: mmmmmmhhh! smiled. sister, hair is growing on my "monkey" SISTER: Thats nothing, mine is already eating "bananas"… Ler mais

This biker goes into a diner and orders the beef stew. After receiving his order he calls the waitress to his table. He says, "Look at this, there's a hair in my soup, I'm not paying for this." And he gets up and walks out. The waitress, a little suspicious of his behaviour follows him and watches him enter a brothel. She creeps in and opens the door and sees him full face between a prostitutes legs. She bursts into the room and exclaims, "You complained about one little hair in your soup, and look at you now." The biker looks up and says, "I'll tell ya what, if I find a noodle in here, I'm no… Ler mais

A man is having sex with a woman with the largest pussy in the world. He's on top of her when all of a sudden his legs slip inside her pussy. Then he's engulfed all the way up to his shoulders, and then he completely slides into this womans pussy. It's very dark in there so he pulls out a flashlight and starts looking for a way out. Suddenly he trips and falls and the flashlight breaks. He panics and starts running around when he bumps into something and hears a voice say "Excuse me!" There's another man trapped inside this womans pussy. The first man says help me find my flashlight so we can… Ler mais

Q: Where are you from? A: A Vagina… Ler mais

Q: What do pimps and dogs have in common? A: They both ate pussy… Ler mais

If there's more life in cum than there is in blood why does Dracula refuses to suck my dick?… Ler mais

What do you call a group of prostitutes? A Cum Unity… Ler mais

What's another name for cumming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher… Ler mais

Just beyond the Gates of Hell, an alcoholic, a womanizer, and a stoner find themselves standing in front of three identical doors. There to greet them is none other than Satan, who tells them a secret method to getting into Heaven: Each man must spend 1,000 years in a room with their greatest vice. If he does so, he will be allowed to enter Heaven. The catch? At the end of the 1,000 year period, if the man asks to be let out of the room, he instead will be trapped inside forever. The first man, being a lifelong alcoholic, is presented with a room identical to his favorite drinking spot. Some… Ler mais

I really hate double standards When a girl buys a dildo, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, he's called a pervert?… Ler mais