Let The Journey Begin!
Today, I begin my journey towards feminization.
To be clear, I'm NOT transitioning. I'm not trans , I'm… well, I'm still figuring that out. The term I want to use, which I feel best describes me, is off limits to me. After learning about where it came from and what it means to the people who originated the term, I understand why it would be inappropriate for me to use it.
I wondered about this for a long time. What I finally realized is that I'm not a woman inside; I HAVE a woman inside. I figured this out when I thought about the long term ramifications of transitioning. Transitioning means abandoning who I've been to embrace who I need to be. But I don't want to give up who I am. I don't want to lose that part of me. So… what then? Something isn't right, it's making me sick inside, and it's getting worse.
Oddly enough, my answer came from (as my answers so often do) Star Trek (I'm a nerd and I'm proud of it ?). In this case, an episode of Deep Space 9 in which a character who possess the memories of several past lives falls ill. It is discovered that the reason she's sick is that one of her past lives was repressed and the solution was to acknowledge the repressed life and embrace his existence. Well. Talk about an epiphany! I suddenly understood myself with crystal clarity and the feeling of relief was palpable. I didn't need to destroy the masculine part of me, I needed to acknowledge the feminine side of myself and let her out to be free. That realization by itself has made me feel so much better.
Back to my journey. Outwardly, I look very masculine; frankly, I look like a bear. That needs to change. I'm aiming for a look that's more androgynous than outright feminine. The idea being that when I feel feminine, I can look feminine and when I feel masculine, I look masculine. I would like to grow small, natural breasts and reduce my body hair. I also want to lose weight (but that would be a good idea anyway). I also need to learn how to do makeup, how to wear women's clothes, style my hair, etc. I'll be talking to my healthcare providers about all of this when the opportunity arises. I don't know enough about HRT to know if that's in my future or not but I'm not opposed to it if it's the right thing for me.
So why am I explaining all of this on a hardcore porn site? First, I feel like this I'm less likely to attract *phobes here. Second, I feel like I'm more likely to find acceptance and kindred spirits here. And third, my octogenarian parents will never stumble upon this post accidentally ?. Besides all of that, I'm a kinky slut regardless of which side is in the driver's seat and I always have been and it's good to be among my own people.
If you're interested in following my journey of self actualization, I'll post about it here from time to time. I don't promise any sort of regularity though. ADHD is a bitch, but that's another story. LOL!
Thanks for reading.
Live long and prosper, friends ??
To be clear, I'm NOT transitioning. I'm not trans , I'm… well, I'm still figuring that out. The term I want to use, which I feel best describes me, is off limits to me. After learning about where it came from and what it means to the people who originated the term, I understand why it would be inappropriate for me to use it.
I wondered about this for a long time. What I finally realized is that I'm not a woman inside; I HAVE a woman inside. I figured this out when I thought about the long term ramifications of transitioning. Transitioning means abandoning who I've been to embrace who I need to be. But I don't want to give up who I am. I don't want to lose that part of me. So… what then? Something isn't right, it's making me sick inside, and it's getting worse.
Oddly enough, my answer came from (as my answers so often do) Star Trek (I'm a nerd and I'm proud of it ?). In this case, an episode of Deep Space 9 in which a character who possess the memories of several past lives falls ill. It is discovered that the reason she's sick is that one of her past lives was repressed and the solution was to acknowledge the repressed life and embrace his existence. Well. Talk about an epiphany! I suddenly understood myself with crystal clarity and the feeling of relief was palpable. I didn't need to destroy the masculine part of me, I needed to acknowledge the feminine side of myself and let her out to be free. That realization by itself has made me feel so much better.
Back to my journey. Outwardly, I look very masculine; frankly, I look like a bear. That needs to change. I'm aiming for a look that's more androgynous than outright feminine. The idea being that when I feel feminine, I can look feminine and when I feel masculine, I look masculine. I would like to grow small, natural breasts and reduce my body hair. I also want to lose weight (but that would be a good idea anyway). I also need to learn how to do makeup, how to wear women's clothes, style my hair, etc. I'll be talking to my healthcare providers about all of this when the opportunity arises. I don't know enough about HRT to know if that's in my future or not but I'm not opposed to it if it's the right thing for me.
So why am I explaining all of this on a hardcore porn site? First, I feel like this I'm less likely to attract *phobes here. Second, I feel like I'm more likely to find acceptance and kindred spirits here. And third, my octogenarian parents will never stumble upon this post accidentally ?. Besides all of that, I'm a kinky slut regardless of which side is in the driver's seat and I always have been and it's good to be among my own people.
If you're interested in following my journey of self actualization, I'll post about it here from time to time. I don't promise any sort of regularity though. ADHD is a bitch, but that's another story. LOL!
Thanks for reading.
Live long and prosper, friends ??
2 lata/lat temu
