Harley Quinn, Halloween Queen

Everything in this post all happened on the Saturday just before Halloween.
It may shock you, please you, make you laugh, or make you cry :P lol

But everything that happened is all true and recounted as best and as accurately as I could possibly make it.

So, please, enjoy and let me know what you think of it :)

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My boss broke the news to us in the salon, that he was moving his wedding day forward...

He and his fiance was going to have a traditional Christmas wedding.
But after thinking about it, they came to the conclusion that Christmas weddings have been done to death.

They wanted something a lot more unique, that stands out from the crowd.

They were going to have a Halloween wedding!

Quite a few girls reacted with a "Halloween wedding? Seriously?"

I, on the other hand, totally lost my shit over it! lol

"Oh my god! OH MY GOD!! YES! YES! Do it! That'd be so fucking cool!!"
I screamed with excitement at him.

He gave us our invites, which strictly stated on them, "Turn up in costume, or be refused entry!" lol

There was only one idea for a costume I had in mind...
Harley Quinn! >:)


Skipping over some details.
The big day came round.

I had based my Harley look on the "Harley in Mourning" outfit from the DLC, "Harley Quinn's Revenge" from Batman: Arkham City.
Quite appropriate seeing as I only just 200% that game a mere week before Halloween (and the wedding) lol

I had a black leather corset on over a skimpy bust-popping red bra.
I had put on a pair of fancy black silk sleeves on my arms (they were gloves but I cut the hands off them), and then I put on a pair of finger-less red leather biker gloves on.

I was going to wear tight black leather trousers, but figuring it's a wedding, I wanted to look a little more sexier, so I instead wore a black pleated skirt, which I had ironed on some red Harley Quinn diamond-logos onto.

To complete the look I had worn one black knee-high leather zip-up boot on my right leg, and a red one (same style) on my left leg.

With my outfit complete, all that remained was to put my hair in large straight pigtails, the tips of the tails I had bleached and then dyed red. Well, I say I did that, but I have to thank Anastasia for being the one who dyed my hair for me in the salon :)

I had dusted my face in a white powder paint, leaving only the very edges around my face in my natural skin tone. I put on very thick, heavy black eye shadow completely around my eyes, and applied a very generous helping of thick black eye-liner on my eyelids.

I tried to "paint" tear tracks under my eyes with makeup, but it wasn't coming out so good.
So in the end, I just simply thought about the heartbreaking soul-crushing story to "Gone Home", broke down into genuine real tears, and hey presto!

Perfect tear-tracks on my eye-makeup! :D lol

I applied black lipstick, and I was all set!

To really help get myself into character, just before my cab arrived, I had been playing/raging out to "Insane in the Brain" by Factory 81 >:)


I arrived by cab at the very big, and very posh place where the wedding was taking place.
It was like a country club, pretty much, in all it's decadent finery. With a large, perfectly manicured golf-course to boot.

It was beautiful. And everything was set-up for Halloween.
All the decorations were up, including carved pumpkins, ghosts, spider-webs, etc, etc.

All the guests were dressed up in some way or another.
Most guys were just wearing nice-looking suits but with like zombie make-up, or vampire make-up on their face.

Same with the women, most were just dressed nicely in skirts and dresses, only with a witch's hat on, or some "scary" yet very neatly applied minimal horror make-up on.

There were a few though, like me, who went all out and completely dressed up for the occasion.

My boss was dressed up like Dracula, complete with a fancy early-19th century coat and tails, a stereotypical Dracula wig covering his bald head lol and a small trickle of "blood" on his lip/chin.

His fiance was just wearing a modern tuxedo with a plain black tie, along with a pair of his fancy black eye-glasses.
The only thing that made him look different from what he usually does, is that he was clean-shaven, and had his black hair gelled into a very fancy side-parting, with just a few strands of hair at the front of his hairline curled in an S-shape.

Everyone was very puzzled by the lack of effort in dressing up on his part, considering that he was more excited about the Halloween wedding than my boss was lol

It wasn't until some time later, after they officially got married, and everyone was having the dinner, that it all came to light...

It was during the dinner speeches (which was extremely funny by everyone involved!), when my boss' husband finally got his turn to give a speech.

"I see a lot of good people here, who really took the effort to dress-up for this occasion,"
He started out, and then he stared harshly at a bloke at a table who only put a couple of stuck-on bolts to his neck,
"Some putting more effort into their costumes than others, it seems...!"

That catty remark got a big chuckle for the crowd lol

"However, I hear you've all been wondering why I myself am not in costume?"
He twisted his lip,
"But I am in costume. See? Look, I came as a journalist!"
He declared and stared out at the sea of faces with a big grin.

Aside from a couple of polite (awkward) giggles, everyone just sort of stared vacantly at him.

"...Suit yourself, I thought it was a good costume anyway..."
The deadpan delivery of that line as he dejectedly looked down at his speech-notes did make a few us of laugh lol

"Swiftly moving on..."
He cleared his throat and started shuffling his notes.

Suddenly, music started blaring out in the dinner hall.
Quite a few people jumped in their seats at the sudden loudness of the instrumental song being played at full-volume.

It was the oh so familiar, legendarily heroic score of Superman.

Just as it hit, my boss' husband stood up straight, puffed his chest out, took his glasses off, grabbed for the buttons on his white shirt, placed a foot onto the table and stood up on his chair as he did so, and pulled the shirt open to reveal the iconic blue spandex top and the bright yellow and red shield of Superman underneath.

He just posed heroically like that as the music blared, while everyone was either laughing, cheering or applauding him lol

What made it so funny for me, was the look of absolute shock and surprise on my boss' face.
He literally had no idea that his husband was going to do that lol

When the music abruptly stopped, "Clark Kent" stepped down, started doing his buttons back up and cleared his throat and awkwardly shuffled his notes again.

He then looked up at the crowd and said with perfect comedic timing, "Wow! Did anyone see that blue streak fly by then?!" lol
Like as if he was trying to protect his secret identity haha

Of course, me being in the mindset of Harley, and at this point already 3 big glasses of champagne into the day, I just had to pipe up from my table and very loudly declare, "Oh great, the Boy Scout's here! Just what I need!" which actually got a couple of chuckles in the room :D lol


After the meal, I was ready to party!
I was now 4 glasses of champagne in, and totally buzzing with the drink :P

I switched to my most favourite drink of all, Smirnoff Ice, for the rest of the day/night.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the wedding had the most rarest yet most beautiful added-function ever to it...

An open bar!! O_O

Sweeeeeeet! :P

When I went over to the bar to get my first Smirnoff of the day, I saw something that just made me shit*!
(*figuratively speaking here, I was drunk but not that drunk :P lol)

There, stood behind the bar, was none other than Mister J... O_O

Yes, one of the male members of the bar staff was dressed up as a very handsome looking Joker - he even had a perfect Roman nose, just like Joker's :P lol

I just shrieked super-loudly like a total fan-girl, "PUDDIN'!!!" and ran straight over for him! lol

Everyone stopped to look at me, but I didn't care, in my mind, that's not a random member of staff, that's my one and only Joker serving drinks behind the bar :P

He looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
He didn't know whether to run and hide, or call for help lol

He stood no chance >:)

Upon reaching the bar, I just lept forward, jumping half-way over the bar with my boobs knocking over some empty glasses, and grabbed the toxic-green tie of his black buttoned shirt, under his purple blazer, and with my other hand I grabbed a chunk of his dyed-green hair and pushed his face in close to mine.

He was able to turn his head just in time before his red "Chelsea-smile cut" lips touched mine and I gave him a great big smacker of a kiss on his painted white cheek!

It left a big black lip-print on his cheek by the time I finished my really long and extremely loud smack of a kiss :P lol

"Oh my god, Mister J!! What are you doing here?! How did you escape Arkham this time?!"
I rapid-fired the questions at him in my best New Joisey Harley accent.

He was a little too freaked for a moment, but then he finally spoke in a put-on, gravelly Joker-voice.

"Harley! You know better than to question my methods!"
He growled at me.

"Oh my god! I love you!"
I shrieked at him in wide-eyed hysterics haha
Still clutching his tie real tightly in my clenched fist.

"Of course you do! Everybody loves me! Now let me go so I can serve these good people their drinks..."
He continued speaking in his Joker-voice.

"Oh, sorry Mister J..."
I let go of his tie.

I climbed down off the bar, suddenly aware that my little stunt had made my skirt rise up and reveal my red cotton-knickers to the whole room! :s

Good job my arse is a real peach, or else that would have been an unpleasant sight for some :P haha

He poured one of the generic male-zombies a cocktail.

"Enjoy."
He said as the zom-zom walked off with the drink.

"Gee, boss, it's weird seeing you being so subservient."
I spoke in my perfected Harley voice which I had been practising a lot weeks prior to this event :P

He just looked at me, giving me his best "shark-stare" kind of creepy clown look.

"...The jokes on them, Harls..."
He suddenly replied to me,
"They haven't seen what I've been putting in their drinks!"
He then did his best Joker-like cackle.

A couple of the people still waiting to be served suddenly seemed less in a hurry to get their drinks from him...
hahaha :P

"Oh my god, I fucking love you!"
I just gushed at him in my normal voice lol

He chuckled his normal, natural chuckle. And then added on a more Joker-like cackle at the end of it, trying to stay in character.

He served another person a drink, then came back over to me.

"Would my Puddin' do his bestest moll a favour, and get her a Smirnoff Ice?"
I asked in a real girlish, sappy kind of tone to my Harley voice, as I stroked his tie.

"Oh, very well,"
He sighed, doing his best to sound completely uninterested and put-upon by my request.
"You owe a Joker's favour though."
He grinned cheekily at me.

He popped the lid off a bottle of my tasty drink and slid it to me.

"Thanks, Puddin',"
I took the ice-cold bottle in my hand,
"Maybe my favour could be letting you take a ride on your Harley later...!"
I seductively (outrageously) remarked and winked at him :P

He just bit his blood-red lip as he glanced me up and down and then just spread his lips into a big grin.

Even with the white face paint on, and the bold black circles around his eyes, he did actually look like one of the most sexiest Jokers I've ever seen :P

He was certainly revving his Harley up, whether he fully knew it or not lol

He wasn't the only Joker there.
There was a couple others at the wedding, but they was all dressed as Suicide Squad's Joker.

When one of those wannabes demanded that I come over and sit with him, I just looked at him unimpressed with my hand on my hip, and replied, "Pfft! You ain't my Puddin'. You're just a cheap imitation..." And walked off.

There was also a few Suicide Squad Harley's in the room too.
When I interacted with one of them, who had giggled "Hey, another Harley!" at me, I gave her a similar reply:

"Bitch, please! I'm the realest Harley in this room!"
Along with a real catty snap of my fingers.

She scoffed in offence at my remark and called me a bitch.

"Can't take a joke?"
I grinned devilishly at her.

"Fuck off."
She turned her back to me.

"...Whatever. I'll kick your ass later."
I shrugged my shoulders and carried on enjoying myself >:P



Anyway, where was I? lol
Oh yeah, I walked away from the bar, enjoying my delicious refreshing lemony drink.
I went back over to my table, which mainly consisted of my work-mates, and a couple of randoms who I didn't know.

My boss suddenly walked up, along with his husband, both of whom were so full of mirth and joy.

We all congratulated them.
But when it came to me, I was now completely and fully in character.

"Enjoying yourself, Annie?"
He asked me.

"Oh sure, apart from Mister J..."
I replied.

"Huh?"
He perplexed.

"I'm still waiting for him to pop the question to me! I'm forever the bridesmaid, never the bride!"
I continued to pout.

"Okaay..."
He looked anxiously at my workmates, who were also weirded out by my remarks lol

"See, this is why she's my favourite of your workers!"
His husband remarked with a joyful chuckle, making my head grow big lol

"Hey! Hands of the merchandise! This body is for my Puddin' only!"
I scoffed at him even though he was nowhere near to touching me nor would ever have any interest in doing so lol

He laughed and asked me how I'm enjoying the wedding.

"Would be great, although I'm terrible with big crowds. I'm actually feeling really nervous and shy."
I answered him.

"Really? You don't strike me as a shy person..."

"Oh I'd strike you or anybody, shy or not!"
I sneered an evil grin at him >:)
"It's just... All these eyes in this room... Ah! I just want to take a fork and poke every one of them out!"

Everyone's heads around me suddenly pulled back, with a clear "Woah! Where'd that come from?!" kind of WTF expression on their faces lol

I paused on that awkward quiet around me for a couple of moments, before I then just grinned and laughed, relaxing every body.

"Oops, don't mind me,"
I continued giggling and grinning as I twirled my finger in a circle beside my head,
"That's just the voices talking, ignore 'em."

"Yeeeah... Enjoy the party, Ann."
My boss and his husband couldn't escape my company quick enough hahaha


When the music finally started playing (after the happy couple had their first dance together), I made a bee-line for the dance floor!
Oh my god, do I love to dance at weddings! :P

The only time I stopped dancing was when I went over to the bar to flirt more with Joker, and refresh my drink.
I pretty much spent the rest of the entire wedding dancing.

And this was not just normal regular sexy Annie dancing.
Oh noooo! lol

This was full-on, goofy, shaking my butt like I just can't stop, Harley Quinn-style dancing >:P lol

Like, really shaking my butt off :P

I could totally feel the people who were watching people dancing, sitting near the dance floor, totally talking about me lol

I could feel them saying things about me like, "God, what is she doing? As she no shame? Talk about make a right show off yourself. How embarrassing!" etc.

But you know what, fuck those boring old farts!
They just don't know how to have a good time >:)

I had quite a few people trying it on with me on the dance floor.
Like, drunkingly trying to squeeze in on me to cop-a-feel or try to get me shaking my butt on them.

One guy came up to me who was dressed as Negan from The Walking Dead.

"No Lucille with you, tonight?"
I asked him.

"Ha ha, no, she's at home..."
He answered.

"Shame. I got a favourite baseball bat I like to smash people's heads in with too..."
I replied.

"Ha, really?"

"Yeah,"
I drily replied (jeez, as this guy ever seen a Harley Quinn before?)
"...Mine's more fun to use though - it vibrates!"
I stretched my lips into an evil manic grin

The look on his face when I said that was a picture :P

There was another guy who got a little too fresh with me, I gave him a threatening "Beat it, buster!" as he made a grab for my shaking ass.

"Ooh, you feisty!"
He leered over me as he tried to touch my butt again.

I just grabbed his fingers and sharply bent them backwards against the back of his hand.

"I said, beat it! Or I snap these off first, and then your little dick!"

"Sorry! Sorry!"
He scarpered off as quick as he could >:)

Anastasia (dressed up as, what else, a vampirix - vampire dominatrix :P ) who was dancing near me asked me what that was all about.

"Some people just don't respect other people's property... It's like they don't know that I belong to Mister J!"
I smirked in my Harley voice lol
"Hell, I don't think even Joker knows I'm his... Yet!" :P

"Bitch, please, you belong to me!"
She scoffed.

"Oh..."
I paused, feeling that I just totally made things awkward between us.

Then she laughed,
"Go have your fun."


Speaking of Joker, come the much more later part of the evening.
Having finished off my 12th bottle, and feeling totally buzzed, and totally horny :P
I went to the bar.

There was no sign of my Puddin' anywhere...

I asked a member of bar staff (she had her face painted in a Day of the Dead Mexican skeleton style) where he was.
"Oh, you want John, he's out back having a fag break."

"John? I don't know no John..."
I gave her a quizzical look, which in returned garnered a confused look on her face,
"...Oooh! You call him that 'cos he's a John Doe! ...'Cause, y'know, no one knows his true name or origin..."
I winked knowingly at her, which only garnered more confusion from her lol

"Suuure..."
She raised her eyebrows at me,
"...Freak."
She muttered under her breath >:O

"Ugh, I'll kick your ass later."
I scoffed at her as I walked off to find my Puddin' :P lol


I went out to the back, sneaking through the busy kitchen/staff area just because I've always wanted to do something like that :P

I went outside into the cool breezy night, which had a pleasant chill in the air.

2 staff guys were around the corner, smoking.
One was dressed up like Blofeld. or possibly Dr. Evil, I couldn't tell lol

But the other was unmistakably my Mister J!

Now, usually I can't stand guys who smoke.
Well, not so much can't stand them, more that I don't like doing anything with them because smoking makes their cum taste horrible :s

However, I wasn't looking at just a normal guy here.
I wasn't seeing a regular dude outside having a fag.

I had my Harley Quinn head on.
In my mixed-up crazy warped mind, that was the love of my life.
My one and only.

My Puddin'! :P

He can do no wrong in my eyes...

I walked over to them.

Dr. Blo-evil stopped talking mid-sentence to look at me and suddenly grinned and leered at me.

"You lost, miss?"
He asked.

"Beat it, ya mook, I'm here to see Mister J."
I sneered at him lol

"Wow, she sure told you!"
Joker teasingly laughed at him.

"Cheeky fucking cow...!"
Dr Evil-feld remarked, not knowing whether to laugh or be offended by me.

"You want a smoke?"
Joker asked me, offering me his cigarette.

"Sure, sweety, why not."
I took the half-smoked death-stick between my fingers, and dragged on it.

I immediately choked and spluttered.

"I don't know why I did that!"
I managed to blurt out through my wheezy coughs lol

I flailed my hand with the fag in it as I coughed, accidentally punching the Bond/Austin Powers villain in the arm, who let out a grunt.

"Oops, sorry. They do say smoking's bad for your health!"
I quipped as I finished spluttering.

"You know what, I'm going back inside."
He scoffed, and left in a huff.

Joker was chuckling at the entire scene as I passed him the fag back.

"Egh, that was so disgusting!"
I remarked as he took the foul thing from my fingers.
"Honestly, Puddin', you're such a bad influence on me. You make me do such naughty things!"

"The naughty things are usually the most fun though..."
He flirted.

"You got that right,"
I winked at him as I sat down next to him on the cold stony step.
"And you of all people should know, naughty things are what I do best..."

We just stared at each other, both of us nibbling our lips.

"You still fancy taking a ride on your Harley?"
I asked with a smirk and a chuckle, having grown a little impatience of waiting on him to make the first move.

"Always."
He chuckled back.

"Oh, well, hop on then!"
I immediately got onto my knees, and held my hands out like as if I was holding the handlebars to a motorbike.

"Vroom! Vroom!"
I revved my wrist and sputtered as I shook my butt up and down in the air as though I was riding a bike haha

Luckily, he laughed at my goofy silliness lol

"You're crazy! ....You didn't even put a helmet on first!"
He joked along.

"Oh, that was a slip up on my part. I'm a stickler for using protection..."
I flirted some more with a wink :P

"So tell me,"
I got off my imaginary bike,
"Working here... Do you have access to the places that guests aren't allowed to be?"

"What are you, a spy? After secrets?"
He laughed.

"No, although egg-head back there, he probably deals with a double-O on a regular basis."
I giggled.

"As for me, I always have a lot more than just a double-O on a regular basis..."
I stuck my tongue out at him as I said that and giggled at the clever corniness of my own wit lol :P

"Do you want to see a restricted area, then?"
He asked me with a playful glint in his eye.

"Hell yeah! You show me yours, and I'll show you my restricted area in return!"
I grinned a devilish grin.

He looked around, making sure no other staff were around.
He then stood up and took my hand in his.

"Come with me then."
He smirked as I jumped up to my feet, and nearly stumbled over in my drunkenness.

"Ooh, Mister J! We're going on a naughty crime spree!"
I giggled excitedly as he led us through the large grandiose estate.

"Shhh!"
He shushed me and chuckled as he took me through a number of doors, and corridors.

We found ourselves in a really dark room.
The door had been locked, but he had a set of keys on him, one of which allowed us access into it.
It was so dark in the room, I don't know where it was or what the purpose of the room is.

It could have been a storage closest for all I know.
Hell, I think it was! lol

I didn't mind or care though.
I wanted to have what I needed most, and he was just the man to give it me ;)

Almost immediately, I dropped to my knees as I unbuckled his purple belt, unzipped the fly of his purple trousers, and pulled them down to his thighs.

"Oh shit, wow!"
He couldn't believe his luck at the eagerness to which I acted...

He was already starting to grow stiff behind his boxers.
Even more so when I reached in and pulled his cock out through the opening at the front of his underwear.

I couldn't see them because of the darkness of the room, but I like to imagine that he was wearing Batman boxers lol

He felt just a little bit on the small side...
...At first :P

But after some seductive kisses and licks, his cock soon grew to a very happy size...
Really stiff too ;)

He was a grower, not a show-er.
Which was fine by me, because once he was fully grown, I was very happy with what was being shown! :P

So as you can imagine, I gave his cock a real good sucking :P

This post is getting a little too long, so I won't go into full detail as to how I sucked him (read any of my previous posts to find out how I enjoy sucking cock if you want a really good idea as to what I did with his), but just know he didn't need the smile makeup on to show just how happy he was with my mouth :P

I will say this though, despite him being a smoker, I couldn't actually tell he was by the taste of his cock O_O

And there was a moment of surrealism to it when it suddenly dawned on me in a moment of clarity, that I was essentially sucking The Joker off lol :P

But that was a single moment of clarity in the drunken haze of Harley Quinn madness...
It quickly passed and I just thoroughly enjoyed sucking on his tasty meat - mmmm!

When he did came though, it was so very fulfilling...

I just wrapped my fingers around the "neck" of his cock, held the head inside my lips with it laying heavily on my tongue, and he spewed his delicious cream all over my hungry tongue!

Oh it satisfied my hunger very nicely ;)

Surprisingly enough, despite being a smoker, his cream did have a very nice taste to it.
Salty, yeah, but also very... Homely, I guess?

Just felt and tasted like it was very good for me, is what I'm trying to say.


After hungrily, and happily, gulping down his cream, I just sat there on my knees by his feet.
I was licking any spare drops of his cum off my fingers and lips.

I was behaving more like Catwoman than Harley in doing that, but still, it's a shame to waste a single drop of cum, so I just licked it all up like a good little Harley ;)

I looked up at him with big wide puppy-eyes while I did that.

"Thanks for the puddin', Puddin'."
I thanked him with a final lick of my smiling lips and a wink of my eye.

He just sighed and rested his back against a wall.

As I stood up and brushed my corset, checking for any stray sticky spots of cum I may have missed, he just reached down and pulled his slacks up.

"So, um, how are you planning on getting home tonight?"
He asked me while doing up his belt.

"I don't know, maybe hitch a ride with a friend, or get a cab?"
I replied, still very much enjoying the thrilling high of tasting him in my mouth.

"Well, if you want, I could give you a ride?"
He suggested.

"Yeah? I still owe you a ride on your Harley."
I grinned playfully.

He just chuckled and asked if I'm interested in his offer.

"Ooh yeah, that's a great idea, Mister J! Let's go on a rampage through town! Heist some jewellers, hit up some bookies, oh it'll be a blast!"
I enthusiastically declared.

He chuckled again, and then got back into character himself.

"Hey! Quiet down, Harls! I'm the brains on this operation!"
He scolded me in his gravelly Joker voice.

"Sure thing, Puddin', whatever you say."
My lips immediately puckered together in tense seriousness.

A short time later, leaving out some of the more pedantic details of the arrangements we made, I had said goodbye to my boss and some of my surviving workmates, and walked out with Mister J, who had snagged himself a carrier bag full of booze.

He took me to his car.

"Shotgun!"
I yelled out as I excitedly jumped into the passenger side.

He got in the driver's seat and started the car up.

"Er, Puddin'?"
I bit my lip.

"Yeah?"

"Have you been drinking?"
I was still chewing my lip in a rare show of concern.

"Only about 10 bottles of whisky."
He answered drily.

I just stared at him as he stared at me with a devilish Joker grin on.
He then burst out in a cackle.

"No, Harls, I'm sober."
He still chuckled.

"Good. I may be certifiably insane, but even I'm not stupid enough to be driven around by a drunk-driver."
I held my held up aloft.

"And now that I've done my mandatory Saturday morning kids TV speech, let's paint the town red with blood!"
I slammed my fist down on the dashboard as he peeled away out of the parking spot.


As we drove on our way into town, which was about a 15 - 20 minute drive, I was being very outrageously flirty with him.

"I can't drive for shit, but I'm good with driving stick!"
I declared as I grabbed for his crotch :P

Somehow I didn't cause him to crash lol

But when we finally made it into town, I got him to stop for pizza.

He pulled up, we got out the car and I was the first to rush into the shop.

I stopped in the door, cleared my throat with a "A-eh - A-eh - Ahem!", getting the one customer and the cashier's attention.

"Ladies and germs, please welcome the one, the only, the clown prince of crime himself, Joker!"
I introduced my Puddin' as I stepped aside, curtsying with my arms presenting out to him.

He sheepishly walked in with an embarrassed "A-ha... Harley! ...Thanks for that..!"

"You're welcome, Puddin'."
I grinned and then rushed over to the counter, hitting the novelty desk-bell on the counter.

"One pepperoni pizza please. With extra cheese. And extra pepperoni. And extra pizza!"
I ordered.

"Medium or large?"
The cashier asked.

"Hey! What are you implyin'?!"
I narrowed my eyes, taking offence.

"What size pizza do you want, miss?"
He replied.

"Oh... Large please!"
I grinned.

He went to sort my order out, while I continued playing with the bell.

"Um, you didn't ask what I wanted?"
Joker walked over to tell me as the little bell kept tinging under my playful fingertips.

"Oh, I just assumed you'd be like, you know, normal..."
I stopped ringing the bell to stare at him.

"Well I do prefer a Hawai-"

"No!"
I interrupted,
"Don't say it! Don't you dare even think of mentioning *that* kind of pizza! You're normal! You just want a nice pepperoni pizza!"

"..OK..."
He just stared in shock at me lol

"Good. Glad that's settled."
I closed my eyes with a big grin, and then carried on tinging the bell.

"Please stop hitting the bell, please."
The cashier returned to tell me off.

I stopped and stared hard at him with my eyes narrowed.
He just looked nervously at me.

I raised my hand, my fingers stretched out straight.

"Don't even think about it, miss."
He narrowed his eyes back at me.

We paused in a tense staredown with each other...

...Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting! Ting!

I hit the bell repeatedly, in rapid-fire strikes.

He just grabbed the bell from under my hand and threw it behind the counter.

"Spoilsport!"
I stuck my tongue out.

I noticed Joker putting his face into his hand, and the solitary customer in the corner was laughing his head off with a mouthful of 'za.

"Oh, that's funny to you, mister?!"
I turned to narrow my eyes at him.
"What am I, some kind of clown to you?!"

"Well.. Yeah!"
He laughed in reply.

"Yeah, well, don't choke on your pizza!"
I grinned an evil grin at him.

"Please don't pick on my customers."
The cashier warned me.

"I'm not a picker!"
I turned my attention back onto him.

"Just... Please, miss..."
He sheepishly backed down.

I finally got my pizza box handed to me.
I sniffed the warm delightful air around it.

"Ahhhh!"
I sighed happily as I then opened the box to check it out.

"...Hey! What's the big idea?!"
My happy face turned into a sour one.

"Problem?"
The cashier asked, sighing in exasperation at my manic antics.

"What the hell is that on my pizza?!"
I pointed in horror at it.

He looked into the box.
"What? Is pepperoni, like you asked."

"No! That, right there, what is that?!"
I pointed to the black and grey sliced produce in the slices.

"Is mushroom, miss."
He looked up at me.

"Mushroom?! On my pizza?! ...Well, OK, yeah I like mushrooms, you're off the hook,"
I smiled at him,
"-Hey! What's that, though?!"
I pointed to the red and green pepper slices.

"Can we just leave already?"
Joker sighed.

"Is pepper, miss."
The cashier answered.

"Pepper? Pepper?!?!"
I angrily stared at him.

"If you don't like, you can just pick it off."
He told me.

"Pick it off?! I told you, I'm not a damn picker! I don't even pick my nose! You pick it off!!"
I yelled.

"OK I've had enough of you now, just leave my shop!"
He yelled back.

"Not until you get my pizza right!"
I yelled back.

"Is right! You wanted pepperoni pizza, I gave you pepperoni pizza!"
He yelled in reply.

"I didn't ask for peppers though!!"
I yelled.

"Pick them off!"
He yelled.

"You pick them off! You picking.. Picker of a... Pick-head!!"

"Leave! Leave now! Please leave!"
He demanded as he shooed me with his hands.

"Make me!"
I challenged.

He picked up the phone and dialled 999.

"Oh shit! Quick! Mister J! Grab the loot and leg it!!"
I shouted out in chaotic excitement and grabbed the pizza box.

I turned and ran for the door, but stopped at the customer's table.

"Swapsies!"
I declared as I nicked a pizza slice from off his large plate of pizza.

"Hey!"
He stopped laughing to yell at me.

I just stuck my tongue out at him and blew a raspberry lol

Joker followed behind me, clearly just walking in a normal pace compared to my running.
He looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or apologise lol

To the sound of the cashier yelling at me, I took a bite out of the pizza slice as I rushed to Joker's car.
I ran and jumped, sliding my butt across the hood of the car.

I landed with a thud onto the road with a loud "Oof!" lol

Luckily I had held the pizza box up in a stable level, so as not to ruin it lol

I got up, rubbing my sore butt.

"Now I know why they call it... ASPHALT!"
I joked with a proud grin as I got into the car, awaiting laughter which never came lol

I then realised my mistake as Joker walked around to my car-door side.
I was sitting in the driver's seat.

"Um..."
He shuffled his feet.

"How do you start this thing?"
I looked around at the keyhole, pretending it was totally my plan to sit in the driver's seat all along lol

"These might help."
He jiggled his car key.

"Oh... Get in!"
I ordered as I awkwardly climbed over the steering wheel, with large pizza box in hand and sat myself down on the passenger seat.

Joker got in, and started the car up.

"Quick! Hurry! Before The Bat gets here!"
I was tapping the dashboard in a panic with my hand.

"Settle down, Harley! I can take The Bat!"
He grinned.

"...Sure you can, Puddin'! I always believe in you!"
I grinned back at him.

"Of course you do. Now sit back, relax and enjoy the ride."
He then did his awesome sounding Joker cackle.

I just sat back in my seat, sighing happily, content and relaxed as he pulled away from the curb and drove us off into the night.

When he turned to look at me again, I was halfway through eating my pizza slice, with strings of hot melty cheese stretching from my lips and the pizza slice.
I paused and looked at him like a squirrel with a nut.

I then smiled a really big, lippy smile, closed my eyes and carried on chewing away on the food.

He chuckled to himself, grabbed a slice of pizza for himself out of the box, and then turned his attention back onto the road lol


We arrived at his apartment.
By now, me and Joker had gotten through most of the pizza.

We got inside, and once we did, I pretty much just pounced on top of him :P

I reached down for his belt and zipper, helped myself to pulling his lovely cock out of his boxers, stroked it a few times to turn it from semi-hard to full-on stiffy, and pulled my knickers to the side to slot him up inside of me.

Mmmm it felt so nice to have a cock inside me again... It'd been a while since I last had one in me :P

I just sat on him, rocking on top of him as he grabbed my asscheeks under my skirt.
He had also pulled his trousers/boxers much further down his legs.
He had kicked them off without me knowing though.

I held my hands up like I was holding a lasso, and twirled my imaginary lasso around above my head.

"Ooh yeah, betcha didn't know your Harley is a real rodeo queen!"
I cheered as I rode him lol

"Wish I had a real lasso though, then you'd be in for it!"
I gave him an evil grin as I said that.

"Fuck... Next year, you're dressing up as Wonder Woman!"
He chuckled.

I fucked him like that for a very short while, before he sat up and, rather aggressively, grabbed my shoulders and turned us over, throwing me down onto the carpet on my belly.

He got on top of me, hovering above my thighs which were now close together underneath him.
He pulled my skirt up over my butt, and dragged my knickers down my thighs.

He then pulled my buttcheek apart with one hand, while grabbing his stiff cock in the other.

I anxiously gulped as he pushed himself onto me.
I could feel the very warm moist helmet of his cock slip between my cheeks, nuzzling up against my crack.

I bit my lip, wondering just what I should do if he dare tries to stick it where I don't like it stuck...

But... It's like he instinctively knew what I like and don't like.

He just teased my little butthole with it, kind of tickling it in a really nice kind of way, before he gave me enough space to hold one thigh slightly further apart, spreading myself just enough so as to give him just enough room to slide his cock down my crack, and slot it neatly into the warm wet opening of my pussy.

Mmmmmm!

It felt so amazing the way he pushed his cock into me, stretching my tight wet entrance with his big fat girth.

I submissively offered my arms behind my back to him, which he immediately grabbed hold of, pinning my arms behind my back for full leverage. Really getting in there, he started pounding my pussy hard. His lap was smacking right into my bouncy cheeks with each and every hard thrust.

Fuck, it was so good!

We fucked like that for while.

This post has gotten way too long now, so I'll summarise.
Basically, we fucked in a couple of positions on the floor of his living room.

Then I went into the kitchen with an idea in mind.
There was messy yogurt involved in our crazy fun :P

He fucked me as I sat on the kitchen counter.

We went upstairs to his bedroom.

I was feeling extremely kinky, yearning to be tied up :P

But, alas, he had no handcuffs or restraints for me to play with :(
We tried his belt, my knickers, but nothing was working right with that idea.

I just had to make do with letting him pin my hands down with his hands.
Don't get me wrong, it was still a really awesome fuck in every sense of the word :P

But, knowing I could slip my hands free of his grip anytime I wanted, took away some of the thrill of it for me...

...Still, a damn good fuck is still a damn good fuck :P

I came way too many times to keep track of.
And when he finally came, he straddled my stomach, and aimed for my tits!

...The very first spurt of his orgasm though, had powerfully shot past my tits and streaked across my chin/lips - mmmmm!

I licked the cum off my lips as I giddily watched his cum spraying over my tits and erect nipples mmmmmm..!!
Fuck, his cum was so hot!

Like, literally, it felt like I was having the melted wax of a lit candle poured over my tits, it was that hot!


Long story short, we cleaned each other up (mainly with our tongues, but also with a damp towel), I thanked him for cumming on me, and then we finished off a bottle of wine between us before we passed out together on his bed.


The next morning, I awoke feeling very hungover, but also very happy with myself ;)
And also the fact that I could feel his rock-hard morning-wood nestling up against my bum as we spooned! :P

I just wiggled my butt against him in such a way as to make his cock slot inside my pussy.
He was now awake and very pleased to give me a good morning shag, ahhh...

So, yeah, we fucked again.

Then after the fun, he let me use his shower to clean myself up.
He totally made me feel like such a slut when he tired of me and offered to order me a cab.

And goddamn, do I just love feeling like a really good slut! :P

He also generously gave me some of the booze he had snagged the night before in a bag for me to take home with me.
I may have "accidentally" left my knickers in his apartment, but, oops!

Silly me, guess he'll just have to keep them as a keepsake... :P

I got dressed (in my Harley outfit, which raised a few eyebrows), and with a wave goodbye, I stepped outside and got in the cab.

"Did you have a nice night?"
The taxi driver asked me as I looked out the window.

With a sheepish playful grin, I replied,
"Yeah, was a pretty good night."

If only he knew...

Hehehe >:)