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When I was in in High School I took a psychology class, one of our assignments was to do an amateur psychology experiment on some people or someone we knew.
There was this girl in the class, lets call her Amy, Amy was a really good friend of mine but she was also fine as hell. At least a 9/10 probably a 10/10, the only problem with her was that she was terrible socially awkward. And I'm not talking about the normal awkward that everyone has, not the awkwardness that everyone on Reddit has and that they think they have it the worst, I mean absolute nightmarish social awkwardness.
It was like Socially Awkward Penguin re-incarnated himself into this High School girl somehow, and then became even more awkward. So for my amateur experiment I devised a little plan, I wanted to out-awkward her in any way, and I decided to not tell her about my plan.
My contest/experiment started a few days later when I was with her at lunch, we were walking down the hall talking and a friend of mine (female) says "Hey, lets go to my house after school and hang out or something!"
Sensing my opportunity I said "Oh, awesome, hang out? You mean.. like, have sex right? I've been waiting for this for a while now."
Everyone in the hall heard. The hall is dead quiet with everyone looking at me and her, waiting for a reaction.. or something, just anything to break the awkwardness of the moment.
I stood there trying to look as eager as possible, maintaining that I was indeed serious, but deep inside I giggled like a little school girl knowing that I was definitely going to top this awkwardness contest.
Suddenly, from the side of me Amy looks me in the eye, serious as can be and says "I thought we were together?"
Wat.
I got out-awkwarded and she isn't even trying.
A few giggles were heard in the halls, undoubtedly people had stopped whatever they were doing to listen to this conversation between the three of us.
The friend who initially had asked to hang out let out a fo***d laugh and told me she meant she wanted to just hang out as in do something.. something non-sexual and that she had no interest in me at all.
At this point, Amy is looking at me bewildered. I decide to get out of this situation and grab Amy by the arm and go into a side hall.
"You thought we were together?!" I said to her. Amy let out a sigh and a little giggle and said "I need to tell you something, I didn't think we were together but what you said to her really hurt, I've had a little crush on you this entire year now."
This sentence made me happier than any other sentence before and I decided to tell her about what my experiment was going to be, and then what my true feelings were about her. She laughed and said that that was a clever experience, then she held my hand.
Without warning she leans in towards me and whispers in my ear, "Lets drive out to my house where we can try a real experiment."
We walk out to her car and drive to her house, all the way to her house I'm thinking "Oh my god, oh my god, this little shy cute girl wants me to bang her." I was a virgin and was excited at the possibility of losing my virginity to this girl.
We got at her house, and went to her bedroom where we just cuddled for the first few minutes, I finally realized we weren't going to have sex and I was ok with that, I pulled her closer to me, skipping school had never felt so great.
Suddenly, she starts kissing me, on the neck, my mouth, nibbling on my ear. This is great.
It slowly escalates into us having sex, me for my first time. After what felt like only a few minutes (It was actually just over 15 minutes) we finally stopped having sex, I felt so great, I've never felt this great again in my life.
We're lying in bed cuddling and she turns to me and says "Wow, are you sure that was your first time? You were great."
I personally thought I did terrible, but I thanked her nonetheless and told her I looked forward to being with her for a long time. Then she looks me in the eye and says "Before we cuddle more, I need something else.." The twinkle in her eye suggests she wants me sex so I eagerly reply "What do you need?"
She says "I need about tree fiddy." It was around this time where I realized that Amy was around 7 stories tall and a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. Damn it, Nessie! That God Damn Loch Ness Monster had tricked me again.
I stood there screaming at her as she swam off into the distance.
As for my psychology project, I never did get it done, and instead dropped the class because of the terrible memories it had given me. To this day I hate reading about Psychology in general.
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