Mom, I am totally gay...!.

   Recently, these days, I have edited my profile here on xHamster... I have changed my sexual orientation. I've changed ‘bisexual’ to ‘homosexual’... actually, in these last (almost ten) years I can't remember the last time I was in bed with a woman, since I assumed -then it was the doctors who confirmed it- that I was completely impotent due to diabetes: I was never going to be able to have an erection again, not at least a full and viable erection... let alone maintain that erection to be able to penetrate a vagina.
   From then on, the only thing I could do when I was in bed with a friend was to finger her pussy and rub it til she came, or eat her twat to make her orgasm. Otherwise, my little dick -I always had it very small and now due to complete erectile dysfunction and from years locked inside a chastity device, it is increasingly shrunken and wrinkled- is always pathetically soft. Of course, my last girlfriend ended up cheating on me because I was completely incapable of fucking her and after a few months of fucking other people, she left me...
   So in this last decade (or so), the truth is that the only sexual pleasure I've had has been by via anal... either by milking my prostate, using dildos and kinky sex toys (like my fuckingmachine) or either being fucked by some transsexual, as well as going to bed with and been penetrated by any few men, although fewer than I would have liked...
   The truth is that in my state, I was being a femboy during years, and I have to assume that I am a complete effeminate, a sissy who is only good for put her ass up and satisfy men, real virile males. For the last few years (five, maybe) I have been living like a girl, dressing, making up, perfuming, waxing, gone out and behaving like a girl, wearing a chastity device and an anal plug on a daily basis, leading a completely feminine life... and since all this time I have been doing things I never thought I would ever do with men, like going out with them, kissing them, letting them grope me, sucking their cock and balls with delight, swallowing their cum and of course letting them penetrate me anally, sodomizing me hard... even letting them ejaculate inside me. So, well yes: I have to admit that I am homosexual, I am completely gay.
   Although I also like girls, the truth is that I will never be able to satisfy one of them and the truth is that also I FEEL LIKE ONE OF THEM. Because I am one of them... I am a woman!!.
   I guess that's what awaits me for the rest of my life, giving myself to men and thus, give me pleasure too... It would be the only way for me to have a suitable sexual life. And I am often surprised how I have been changing both my thinking and my feelings during this last years, internalising more and more my femininity and assuming that I am really a girl, even if I was born in a wrong body.
   So yes: I am looking for a man.... In fact I NEED a man in my life, a real virile and strong male, who will subdue me and make me his wife. It's not just a fantasy anymore, like when I used to imagine while masturbating that a man fuck me in the ass... Now, since I have lost my (anal and oral) virginity and fucked by a few men, I realise that it is a necessity, that in reality my appetite for a real man's cock is not a fantasy but is due I am a woman and because of that I need a man by my side.
   And it makes me happy to feel that way, to want to meet a man who could become my husband, to fall madly in love with him, to give myself to him, to snuggle my weak, skinny, effeminate girlish body in his arms every night... to BECOME HIS WIFE. So, I guess a new horizon is opening for me in this 2024, I guess it's a new stage in this long road that has brought me here, that has made me evolve into what I am now...
   Anyway, I'll keep telling you about it here on xHamster... thanks for reading me!!.