Insulting a girl with no shoes

When I got back to the party I started drinking hard. It was the uncomfortable tension from brent’s brother. All I could do was look at his cum stain and feel defeated. When a boy you really like snarls at you after cumming in his pants you feel busted. One thing all those boys can agree on is that I’m damn good fun at a party. I don’t know why we went in my friend’s parent’s room. Someone pointed at this thing on the dresser and said ‘what is that?’ I picked it up and started playing with it. I assumed it was some Tupperware device. I was the only chick at this party. Some dude had to tell me it was a diaphragm. I probably had it on my head like a plastic hat.

My next encounter I already discussed. My boyfriend was good friends with this girl named sherry and her longtime boyfriend tony. We had parties as two couples. I loved sherry immediately. I love to party. I love chicks on my level. We partied in an orange grove and learning to piss outside was a female problem. It happens at so many of our parties. I remember teaching sherry which tree was the female restroom. I had to school her on which branch to hold. One of our first encounters I watched her fall and piss her pants. I’ll never forget that she fell in an ant pile and was in agony.

Her boyfriend was special. He was the salutatorian. My boyfriend was smart but tony was smarter. It should’ve been obvious what would happen. Tim and sherry would get belligerently drunk while I talked to tony. I had been planning a marriage with tim for two years. I thought he could do no wrong. I was pretty damn confident. Sherry was cute and special. I was fierce competition. Tim loved us both. I knew shit hit the fan when sherry suddenly broke up with tony when my dad was dying in c***. He couldn’t make up his mind. All I can say is fucking me, leaving me, fucking me and leaving me again was enough to make me punch him in the damn face.

I know when a boy is perfect for me. Tony was the support I needed. Those two years with tim our lives revolved around sex. It’s a coping mechanism for me. I need intimacy. I demand it. When I found out my dad was dying I had my first intense need for sex to cope. Tim could handle it. He could fuck me when I was crying. When I ****d brent’s brother my desire for sex was extreme. Getting drunk pushed it up a notch. I pulled tony in the bathroom. We talked about our situation.

I know I was hilarious. A drunken rant about trying to fuck your best friend’s brother until he came in his pants is classic. He held me. We wanted to touch for months. If I was a smart girl I would’ve confessed feelings and asked him to call me. It would’ve happened. I wanted immediate gratification. After a year of death and d**gs my ability to function despite crying was developed. My rule is usually to make a boy kiss me. Tony was different. I know I was a really hot chick and he wasn’t confident. He was not expecting the situation. Our chemistry was intense. Our kiss was sheer passion. I remember being pushed away while he said no and I asked why.

I know him well. I know he regrets not taking the chance to be with me. He walked away. He married a girl that I can’t stand. Ten years later I was back with tim. Tony and his wife april were good friends. There is nothing wrong with being fat. It’s your personality that matters. She is so damn annoying. Tim built a bench and the huge question involved if it could support her weight. It’s hard to describe the way tony looked at me. I felt like a beloved pet he let escape. Tim hated my ability to charm our old male friends. It is one of the reasons we ended.

To celebrate april wrestled in mud with another jealous wife and the whore tim dated next. They slammed me with pictures through facebook. Revenge is being forced to sit beside me a few years later. The way tony looked at me almost hurt. I went to that dinner with brent. I looked fucking hot. Brent’s inability to see me as anything but a sister is amusing. It was a fancy restaurant. He was ranting about all the hot chicks around him. His type is the tiny blonde barbie.

Tony can look at me and I feel like a goddess. After that kiss we can’t help looking at each other with regret. Brent wasn’t ready to hear about chapter three of that party. It was at a boy named mark’s house. I thought mark was so hot. In drama he was usually a male lead. He was immune to me. He was infatuated with Karen who now owns 80 shoes. They had just broken up. She legitimately stalked the party. You could hear her screaming outside. I was too drunk to drive home yet. I was alone with mark. I always wanted to hook-up with him. We ended up in his bed.

Explaining what happened to brent made him slam me with a huge insult. Mark couldn’t get hard. The whole goal that night was the****utic sex. He couldn’t kiss worth shit. Brent said ‘mark has always had high standards. He has only dated beautiful women I can’t get. Sometimes if a man doesn’t find you attractive he can’t get hard.’ Only a sibling would bust out that statement. I will go to my grave completely adamant he thinks I am too fat to be hot. I was probably a size nine or ten. I could follow his logic if my weight busted benches.

Mark stopped trying to get hard. He told me he couldn’t do it because tim scared him. He was a scary motherfucker. Men didn’t risk the wrath of touching his woman. It still wasn’t clear if we were over. I have no interest in a man who can’t get hard. I went home. I love irony. Tim had been screwing sherry and leaving me for a week. That didn’t stop him from showing up at my door. He was pissed. Karen was best friends with sherry. Karen told him I was alone with mark. He looked like he wanted to hit me and said ‘did you fuck mark?’ It was hilarious. I told him first I planned to fuck brent’s brother. He is taller than you and really hot. I was too much for him and he came in his pants. He acts like I ****d him.

I left out the tony information. I told him I tried to fuck mark but he couldn’t get hard because he was scared of you. I tore into him. I realized if he did get hard and fuck me tim would've beat his ass. I told him to quit scaring off men I want. Brent would’ve been certain mark’s dick broke due to my weight. In college he showed up at the house of syn. I even had a boyfriend. He chased me, taunted me and provoked me for round two. It was my funniest sex situation. All the rooms were occupied.

Our only option was fat laura’s pink bathroom. My friend Jaime won’t let me live it down. We had a pink shag rug in front of a pink toilet. The toilet leaked and the rug was always wet. It was so strange. He did consider me not on his level. He wanted sex with no foreplay or touching. We got naked and it was so awkward. I tried to tell brent about the issue. He was cute in clothes. Standing there naked all I could think was he looks like mr. burns from the simpsons. It was such a lack of muscle tone mixed with bad posture. My boyfriend was this mega sexy boy from Columbia named spike. I instantly wanted to say ‘you look gross naked and it’s not worth losing spike.’

We ended up in a doggy style position with no touch involved. I felt like a cheap whore offering my vagina to a man who couldn’t even play with my huge tits. I’m so glad it happened. Telling brent I said ‘you know what it’s like when a dude tries to fuck you but he isn’t hard?’ He had to say ‘no lynn I don’t let dudes fuck me.’ It will always be a mystery. I never felt him inside me. He had an orgasm or faked one. I was so confused. I was baffled if I actually had sex. No man could be less fulfilling. He was such a cocky dude. I ran out of the bathroom half dressed. I was drunk. You had to know what an attitude he portrayed. I ran to the next bedroom. I laughed so hard I simply pissed my pants.

My story amplified brent’s perception that I was too ugly to fuck. I let him chase me for round three. I was determined to have a good time. He couldn’t get hard. Fixing that problem is an easy situation involving my mouth. I didn’t think he was fully erect. He busted a nut so fast it was startling. He looked content like early release was not an issue. I don’t understand why he didn’t masturbate instead of calling me. He told me it was great and asked for a ride home.

I didn’t even think about having him as a friend on facebook. I was just starting to blog. All my friends read the post and seemed confused. It was a harmless description of the fact I was just diagnosed bi-polar. It was short, innocent and non-inflammatory. He left me this comment that was a tirade ‘he was sick of my shit and he needed me to never write again.’ I don’t remember holding a gun to his head and asking him to read my blog. I had people defend me. I was speechless. I got messages from people dying to know what I did to make him so mean. We finished that blog with a shitload of stories declaring him a douchebag with problems.

It still changed my world. That comment made me declare war. In two seconds I changed my name to linda marris. I sent a friends request to my closest friends only. It was time to blog with no ramifications. My first linda marris blog is about a broke dick and a pink toilet. Over the years old friends found me. I wrote an epic goodbye letter for that blog. I summarized it. I adore mark’s little brother. Not many people cared to say goodbye. He sent me a letter thanking me for slamming his brother because he is truly a cocksucker. He made one girl so mad she really truly tried to stab him to death.

Brent considers mark a very attractive, smart and witty man with high standards. Brent’s opinion that I was not sexy enough to get mark’s dick hard ended any sexual attraction I had for him. It was the way he said it. I saw a man with road rash on his forehead inform me I don’t meet quality standards for an erection. He emphasized that mark could get beautiful women out of his league. We discussed brent’s league. I told him how beautiful women would chase him for his wealth. He informed me he would find a really hot stable woman. The word stable hurts. It hasn’t been a week since I wrote him a letter explaining that without medicine I may go insane. He mentioned waiting to see if I remain sane without medicine so I could be his maid. I laughed about my future battle to stay lucid when I run out of medicine. I really wanted to cry.

He was very proud he could tell his wife you don’t have to get a job because I earn enough money to support you. It is ironic because he plans to support her for six months. I feel sorry for him because he is handing her a free ride. Pause: Brent just skype cam called me. I was kind of afraid he read my blog. I can’t help loving him despite some of his remarks. He offered me a chance to sell chargers he doesn’t need on ebay. When I had an ebay business the work was divided. Fat laura handled all the data entry and financial issues. I decided which clothes to buy. My skill involved my mannequins. People don’t realize trickery is involved. We learned to buy massive size vintage dresses. With clothespins I can make a sack look like a cocktail gown. Fat woman saw the dress look sexy on a mannequin yet it fit their measurements. They would buy paisley monstrosities and feel as sexy as the pic I took on the mannequin.

Taking the time to deal with the hassle of selling power cables is not an option. My computer overheats when I skype. I get really tired of hearing things that hurt. He said ‘I would sell you my old laptop but you couldn’t afford it because it’s high quality.’ I will not tell you what his wife has done to him. He could easily squirm out of any financial requirements. It almost makes me smile. She has stayed with him for money a long time. For six months he plans to pay for so many things he is a fool. Her car insurance will be paid. Her phone bill will be paid. I really hate when people use d**gs they don’t need. We discussed the topic. He will pay her shrink bill. He will pay for her Xanax and her Ritalin. When I hung out with her she preached about not needing either d**g.

She hasn’t been working. She gets a Ritalin rush in the morning and pops Xanax all day. I tried to tell him he was supporting her d**g habit. He knows she could cope without either option. I was furious he would give her a hundred dollars a month towards her student loans. I can’t even keep track of her other expenses. Yesterday she was tracking the mileage to tampa in case she finds a job. It equals at least 700 a month. I lectured him that paying student loans is a luxury. Mild ADHD and anger issues can be tolerated without medicine. A cell phone is a luxury. Gas money all the way to tampa is a luxury. He can brag about what a small amount that is from his check. He can brag about being able to rent his own place until his valuable house and land is sold.

Telling me I couldn’t afford to buy his used laptop was wrong. He is right that I am not in his league. When I got life insurance money I started a relationship with a boy so damn cute, smart and funny. I fell in love. I wasn’t good enough to be given the title girlfriend. His manipulation was stellar. I gave him two months in rent. His computer screen was cracked. He was a technical writer. He pretended to have a writing job. I am so easy. I gave him my card and permission to buy any computer he wanted. It hurts to know my best friend wouldn’t give me a fair price on a computer he no longer needs. The cute boy hurt me so bad. I refused to check bank records. He stole at least ten grand.

I caught him scrolling the dating site we met on my computer when he was sitting beside me. It was a good thing. I launched ‘operation warfare.’ I get a lot of compliments on my profile pic. After he got caught scrolling for new pussy I immediately snapped that pic. When I looked for local boys that picture got me laid. The cute boy ended up hearing about my adventures. I made him delete hundreds of dick pics one night. We started as lovers. Just like brent he lectured me about the merits of being lifelong friends with no sexuality. I know my revenge was a total transformation. I went super healthy and dropped so much weight it disturbed him. I wrote daily. He refused to read one word.

I felt sorry for him. I encouraged him to date. I ridiculed him for not writing. I turned into this bubbly woman with an abundance of new friendships. He came over the last day I had Adderall and money. He used my card to buy beer and overdraft the account pulling out a twenty. I gave him my last thirty dollars just to make him happy. I never saw him again. He refused to let me come to his apartment. He used my phone to take a picture of his driver’s license and it was on my computer. When I wrote him a letter about being a con-artist I warned him I had his license on file. Something made me check after I sent the message. That final night he covered his tracks and deleted it.

He was my contact to get disability. I have an address but I don’t know if it is real. When I think about what he did I have this incredible urge to mail him a pile of my dog’s shit. I consider using his phone number as contact information on craig’s list to sell things at a ridiculously low price. If I had GPS nothing could stop me from constantly spray painting obscene messages on his door and slashing his tires. I learned a huge lesson about giving men money they don’t deserve.

I don’t regret the relationship. Brent isn’t ugly. The experience taught me I could date the cutest man I ever saw. Internet dating taught me I could do even better. If I was superficial collecting trophy boys would be a problem. One of my favorites was a 21 year old man in spain. He spoke six languages. He was so damn sexy he got women to pay him 20 euros for 15 minutes of cam sex. We didn’t have cam sex on purpose. He got tired of doing it. I was burnt out on it. He wanted to learn about me. I changed when I began this blog. He contacted me sporadically. When I changed skype ID’s I ditched him.

Brent telling me that mark couldn’t get hard because he has high standards is delusional. Mark delivered pizzas. A drop dead gorgeous man who was ten years younger than me with the intelligence to master six languages was hard all damn night. After getting robbed by the cute boy I developed a fear of relationships. That is why I am single. It is a decision. I did not need to hear an average looking man brag that his money would allow him to date beautiful women. I love him. I shower him with adoration. I would do all house work for free. I am a simple woman. I do not need a cell phone. I sold my car. I sold priceless diamond from my aunt for food. No one pays my student loans. When money runs out I lose my shrink and all medicine. I won’t take his money. I don’t drink. I smoke pot once in a blue moon. I am constantly writing. My art is getting printed.

I have no problem wearing my mom’s shoes. Men don’t notice my feet. I get hit on anytime I go in public. I dress sexy to flaunt my body. In the red wig the attention is too much. I talk sexy. I walk sexy. I could be barefoot and men wouldn’t notice. Being a loser boy I loved gave him a chance to get in a bed with me. I would love to show him how I ****d his brother. I have a brutal dedication when I decide sexual decisions. Just like the cute boy he will not read this blog. I don’t care if I am truly in danger of starvation. Some dude with road rash on his head blaming a man’s broken dick problem on my appearance fucked up.

I will suck dick for money before I become his fucking maid. He can pay the thin whore who verbally and physically abused him non-stop for seven years seven hundred dollars a month. I have been around way before she used him as a sugar daddy and cheated non-stop. The last straw was watching my computer die for two days. It was the casual statement he couldn’t sell me his used laptop because I can’t afford it. I didn’t ask him for it. He doesn’t know me very well.

I had two families. My parents were so poor we lived on bologna. Then I had aunt jonell. My computer died when I was typing a report for school. I was crying. She had me in the car in three minutes. We went to best buy. She did not buy cheap things. She raised me to be pretty damn haughty. We didn’t even look at options. She found an employee and told him I need the most expensive high quality computer you sell and the extended warranty. We were home in thirty minutes. I am way too sensitive about some issues. I bought a man I love a new computer because his was damaged. I act like aunt jonell. I insisted he buy a good one.

A man who claims to love me and flaunts wealth won’t let me buy something he doesn’t need. He tells me some men can’t get hard because they only date beautiful women. He acts as though I am a fat ragamuffin pity fuck. I hope he reads this blog. I will be his friend. I will not be a fucking maid for a man like him. I lost all notion of him as a sibling. I will keep my distance. He warned me this blog would piss off a lot of people. I hope he reads it and never contacts me again.

My first blog tonight will be my new writing style. A good friend let me know he loved it because it was a real blog that was also erotic. It was tame compared to some adventures. That was G-rated and I get X-rated. This blog is about ending fifteen years of friendship. No man insinuates I’m good enough to clean his toilet but I’m out of his league to date. I don’t have shoes. Soon I won’t have medicine. He bragged so much about his wealth I wanted to bust open his ball sack. I can’t handle the fact he taunted me that he doesn’t need his laptop. I can’t believe he said he won’t let me buy it because I can’t afford it. His wife ranted about wanting c***dren and insisted he wouldn’t be a good father.

For six months he will buy her d**gs. Pay her bills. Feed her. Pay her student loans. Pay for gas. Keep her insured. Not charge her rent and more. I can’t even tell you how many ways I told him he would be a wonderful father. I am the lifelong friend who declares him better than the pope. Finding new friends isn’t difficult. Those boys gave themselves the name ‘losers.’ Telling those stories will be fun. I found out the hard way they epitomize the word loser in profound ways.