So you want to be a girl? Part II
But I never showed any signs during c***dhood!
While some women may have known they were women from a very early age, it’s also very common to repress one’s own identity. It’s also extraordinarily common for signs to be present, but hidden until some hindsight well into womanhood. Many women never showed any signs until age 20, 40, 60, or even older. Often some seemingly inconsequential event might bring those repressed feelings forward, and that’s totally okay. If you’re a late bloomer, don’t worry! You’re not any lesser than other women, you’re not an outsider, you’re just at the beginning of your path and there’s nothing wrong with that. The best time to plant a tree would have been twenty years ago, but the second best time is today.
But I don’t want to alter my body!
Then don't! Nobody's saying you have to. It’s very common for women not to want to change their bodies, especially at first. It’s also common for some of these feelings to change over time. However, being a woman has absolutely nothing at all to do with your body -- it’s your desire to be a girl that makes you a girl, nothing more and nothing less.
It seems nice, but I’m not completely certain I want to be a woman!
Nothing is permanent until you make it so; there is always a path back. Lots of us start with baby steps. It's okay to try something small, see how it feels, and then step back if it's not right for you.
You’re absolutely valid, even if you don’t quite know what you want yet and even if you choose not to change anything about the way you express yourself. You don’t have to jump in and make huge irreversible changes right away. It’s totally okay to try some small reversible steps. If you later decide that something is not right for you, you can always back out, no matter where you are. As you continue on your path, you’ll begin to form a better idea of what you like and what you don’t.
But I don’t want to lose everything when I come out!
Many women are worried about losing their jobs, their friends, or the support of their family. There is some legitimacy behind this concern: about half of trans people can expect to lose a friend, and about one in four have lost a job due to bias and discrimination. However, most trans women who transition are glad they did and feel much more connected and secure.
Underscoring all of this is the fact that your needs are what’s most important. If you don’t feel safe about telling others, it’s absolutely fine to keep your business to yourself. It’s much easier if you have friends or a supportive partner that can help you process, and you might be surprised by how many people will accept you, but many women get started completely on their own and only come out once they’re confident it’s the right choice for them.
But I still feel weird about this and have no one to talk to!
It’s totally normal to have questions. One of the best ways to understand what life as a woman is like is to sit back and listen to many women’s experiences to get as many perspectives as possible.
While some women may have known they were women from a very early age, it’s also very common to repress one’s own identity. It’s also extraordinarily common for signs to be present, but hidden until some hindsight well into womanhood. Many women never showed any signs until age 20, 40, 60, or even older. Often some seemingly inconsequential event might bring those repressed feelings forward, and that’s totally okay. If you’re a late bloomer, don’t worry! You’re not any lesser than other women, you’re not an outsider, you’re just at the beginning of your path and there’s nothing wrong with that. The best time to plant a tree would have been twenty years ago, but the second best time is today.
But I don’t want to alter my body!
Then don't! Nobody's saying you have to. It’s very common for women not to want to change their bodies, especially at first. It’s also common for some of these feelings to change over time. However, being a woman has absolutely nothing at all to do with your body -- it’s your desire to be a girl that makes you a girl, nothing more and nothing less.
It seems nice, but I’m not completely certain I want to be a woman!
Nothing is permanent until you make it so; there is always a path back. Lots of us start with baby steps. It's okay to try something small, see how it feels, and then step back if it's not right for you.
You’re absolutely valid, even if you don’t quite know what you want yet and even if you choose not to change anything about the way you express yourself. You don’t have to jump in and make huge irreversible changes right away. It’s totally okay to try some small reversible steps. If you later decide that something is not right for you, you can always back out, no matter where you are. As you continue on your path, you’ll begin to form a better idea of what you like and what you don’t.
But I don’t want to lose everything when I come out!
Many women are worried about losing their jobs, their friends, or the support of their family. There is some legitimacy behind this concern: about half of trans people can expect to lose a friend, and about one in four have lost a job due to bias and discrimination. However, most trans women who transition are glad they did and feel much more connected and secure.
Underscoring all of this is the fact that your needs are what’s most important. If you don’t feel safe about telling others, it’s absolutely fine to keep your business to yourself. It’s much easier if you have friends or a supportive partner that can help you process, and you might be surprised by how many people will accept you, but many women get started completely on their own and only come out once they’re confident it’s the right choice for them.
But I still feel weird about this and have no one to talk to!
It’s totally normal to have questions. One of the best ways to understand what life as a woman is like is to sit back and listen to many women’s experiences to get as many perspectives as possible.
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