Thoughts for today
Well, this is basically just some additional information that probably should be in my profile but I'd rather fill in some details this way without worrying about whether I'm being too verbose for a profile.
Although I was "born this way" suits how I feel about being a cross-dresser, TV or 'gurl' or whatever other term best suits me, it's obvious to me that despite the many similarities between me and any other CD, we are all very unique in many ways. I suppose I'd say that generally a CD is a guy who gets some kind of pleasure out of dressing up as, and to varying degrees acting as, a female. These are just my thoughts based on my own personal and limited experience, but most CD's I would say have never experienced any profound emotional anguish about being born the wrong gender. If the right situation and opportunity had ever presented itself to me, I may very well have tried hormone therapy and breast enhancement surgery, but the fact that I didn't sort of tells me that I was not irresistibly pulled towards that goal by my inner self. Some part of me was, and always has been, satisfied with my maleness. I suppose my masculinity is muted in comparison to many guys, but I rather like my penis and don't see it as the wrong thing for me or anything like that. And in spite of having what I think of as a muted masculinity, it's strong enough in it's own way.
I notice some things about CD's and men who seem interested in them that strike me as odd. There are lots of men who have some kind of submissive tendency and want a CD (or transsexual) to fuck them. I don't get it personally. I mean being fucked anally is definitely a turn on but why does a man want a woman to do it to them? Why do they want to suck cock when it's a transsexual or CD but not a man? It's puzzling and confusing to me. In my rich fantasy life, I've always been myself, en femme, with a man who looks like a man and knows I am one too. What he likes about me, or what he see's in me, or what I bring to the situation is that I look good, I feel good, like a woman but not a woman, and I compensate for not being a real woman by how I respond to him. I get excited by his masculinity, I do everything a female does to satisfy his desires which somehow manages to satisfy mine at the same time. There's something exciting about the taboo aspect of it all, both of us male, but I'm the concubine and he's the emperor in the boudoir. We share with each other some knowledge that we are men who know what each other likes and just thinking about what we can do together turns us on - it's like icing on the cake to know that he digs long legs in stockings but not the typical female attitude about sex, or the fact that his wife or girlfriend no longer has any appeal for him, maybe she's overweight or prudish or brings emotional baggage to the relationship, and me - well me - I'm just thinking about how funny it is that I can enjoy spending an hour doing my make-up and wearing hot heels and lingerie, and making him feel like a king in bed. So anyway - just as I don't understand men who want to b e dominated in some way by a woman, or CD or transsexual, I don't understand the CD who seems to enjoy having sexual relations with another CD. If you love being femme, what better way to affirm it than having sex with a masculine male, and how does sex with a man trying to be like a woman do that? After all, as a CD I can see my flaws, and can be discouraged when I look in the mirror noting the absence of real hips, the far from perfect skin and complexion, and various other shortcomings, and it does nothing for me to see a reflection of myself in a sexual partner. I'd rather see a man who looks like a man and acts like one regardless of his flaws. i.e. a big hefty man with a little too much weight, or a big nose, or bald, or whatever ... doesn't seem important to me if he's hot for me and me for him.
Oh well. That's enough rambling and going on about the mixed up world we all live in. Ciao.
Although I was "born this way" suits how I feel about being a cross-dresser, TV or 'gurl' or whatever other term best suits me, it's obvious to me that despite the many similarities between me and any other CD, we are all very unique in many ways. I suppose I'd say that generally a CD is a guy who gets some kind of pleasure out of dressing up as, and to varying degrees acting as, a female. These are just my thoughts based on my own personal and limited experience, but most CD's I would say have never experienced any profound emotional anguish about being born the wrong gender. If the right situation and opportunity had ever presented itself to me, I may very well have tried hormone therapy and breast enhancement surgery, but the fact that I didn't sort of tells me that I was not irresistibly pulled towards that goal by my inner self. Some part of me was, and always has been, satisfied with my maleness. I suppose my masculinity is muted in comparison to many guys, but I rather like my penis and don't see it as the wrong thing for me or anything like that. And in spite of having what I think of as a muted masculinity, it's strong enough in it's own way.
I notice some things about CD's and men who seem interested in them that strike me as odd. There are lots of men who have some kind of submissive tendency and want a CD (or transsexual) to fuck them. I don't get it personally. I mean being fucked anally is definitely a turn on but why does a man want a woman to do it to them? Why do they want to suck cock when it's a transsexual or CD but not a man? It's puzzling and confusing to me. In my rich fantasy life, I've always been myself, en femme, with a man who looks like a man and knows I am one too. What he likes about me, or what he see's in me, or what I bring to the situation is that I look good, I feel good, like a woman but not a woman, and I compensate for not being a real woman by how I respond to him. I get excited by his masculinity, I do everything a female does to satisfy his desires which somehow manages to satisfy mine at the same time. There's something exciting about the taboo aspect of it all, both of us male, but I'm the concubine and he's the emperor in the boudoir. We share with each other some knowledge that we are men who know what each other likes and just thinking about what we can do together turns us on - it's like icing on the cake to know that he digs long legs in stockings but not the typical female attitude about sex, or the fact that his wife or girlfriend no longer has any appeal for him, maybe she's overweight or prudish or brings emotional baggage to the relationship, and me - well me - I'm just thinking about how funny it is that I can enjoy spending an hour doing my make-up and wearing hot heels and lingerie, and making him feel like a king in bed. So anyway - just as I don't understand men who want to b e dominated in some way by a woman, or CD or transsexual, I don't understand the CD who seems to enjoy having sexual relations with another CD. If you love being femme, what better way to affirm it than having sex with a masculine male, and how does sex with a man trying to be like a woman do that? After all, as a CD I can see my flaws, and can be discouraged when I look in the mirror noting the absence of real hips, the far from perfect skin and complexion, and various other shortcomings, and it does nothing for me to see a reflection of myself in a sexual partner. I'd rather see a man who looks like a man and acts like one regardless of his flaws. i.e. a big hefty man with a little too much weight, or a big nose, or bald, or whatever ... doesn't seem important to me if he's hot for me and me for him.
Oh well. That's enough rambling and going on about the mixed up world we all live in. Ciao.
9 anni fa
