Tentang

Some things about me and what turns me on.

I have a history of vaginismus. For those who are unfamiliar with this, it can be described as an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible. This was a serious problem when I was younger, I couldn't even use tampons. I thought I would never be able to have sex. I had extensive therapy and now I can use tampons. In rare cases I can have sex but more often I masturbate by clitoral stimulation (instead of inserting a finger or a toy).

I have a boyfriend now and we didn't have intercourse for the first year and a half. It simply wasn't possible. Let me describe what intercourse is like between us. It's very important for me to feel comfortable so we usually start with a long foreplay. He treats me like his little girl (the "daddy issues" kind of thing), like I am about to have sex for the very first time. This is something that turns us both on. His cock is quite big, 8.7 inch, so it's always a long and painful exercise to take all of it inside.

I like the "pain" part but not really in a masochistic way. It's a nice struggle to fit him in, he is very careful, and comforts me all the time. "Open your legs for me, just relax, look at me, just breathe, inhale, exhale, I'm here for you, I'll be careful, it's going to hurt but I'll take care for you, just a little bit more, you take it so well baby, I'm so proud of you" and so on. Oh boy this turns me on so much! The painful struggle and the loving care at the same time. Making my boyfriend proud and satisfied.

Because of the way in which my vaginal muscles contract, my pussy feels even tighter for him. Something that he loves! For me the favorite part of our sessions is the pain and comfort at the same time.

Saying no to my boyfriend is something that also turns him on. Like when it's too painful. "Stop, it hurts, slow down, take it out it need a break, don't push deeper" and so on. He hardly ever stops when I ask him because he likes to force me gently over my barriers. "No baby, I can't stop right now. You made me so hard and big there's no way back. But I'm here for you and I'll be careful. Just relax, open your legs a bit more, the more you relax the less pain you'll feel, but either way I have to push it deeper now". And then he forces me more. I sometimes tell him to stop just because of this reaction. I like it so much.

What am I looking for here?
As said, I masturbate a lot. Mainly by clitoral stimulation but I have a few vibrators to "practice" inserting.
1. I like to watch porn like the above description so please send me your favorites in this type of sex if you know any good movies/clips I should watch.
2. I also like to read stories and descriptions of this type of sex. So tell me whatever you have to share on this topic.
3. To those that can arouse me and we built some sexual fantasy together, I would enjoy someone talking me through my practise or masturbation sessions (e.g. via Skype). Don't ask me for my Skype ID, I will initiate this when I feel comfortable enough.

No friend request will be accepted before we have chatted.