Things that make me jack off (as of Feb 28 2018)

Social media pictures and phone calls


I masturbate a lot while looking at popular social media pages. I'm interested in stroking while looking at pictures of women I know, including co-workers, relatives, friends of the family, neighbors, etc. I jack off looking at their pictures and the next time I see them in person I smile knowing that I jacked off to them.

Sometimes while I'm looking at a picture of a friend or neighbor etc, I'll think of some stupid reason to call them, and I will call them while I'm masturbating to their picture. I would never make an obscene phone call or say anything inappropriate to them, but during our conversation I would be masturbating the whole time and depending upon what they say or my level of stimulus, or the length of the phone call, I frequently ejaculate while talking to them on the phone.

One exception to this; my mother-in-law is a flirtatious woman and keeps a good secret. I have called her while looking at her picture online and masturbating. I would say to her "guess what I'm doing right now", and she would say " I wish I could help you with that". At first it was only suggesting what I was doing and her response was only suggesting what she would help with. But over a couple years it became explicit. I called her and would engage her in some stupid conversation, and then I would say something like "the actual reason why I called you is because I was thinking about you." She'd reply "mmmmm. Are you jacking off?". As time passed my responses would be like "I want to cum in your mouth" or something like that. Clearly we never did anything for real but it sure was a great masturbation fantasy


 
Watching myself masturbate


I enjoy masturbating to videos of myself masturbating. Sometimes when I feel like I want to jack off, I'll setup my smartphone on a mini tripod and record my masturbation session. It'll be setup on a computer desk, coffee table, bathroom sink etc, and I'll try to ignore it until after I ejaculate; this gives me a view that someone may have if they were spying on me. I will then watch it next time I jack off.

Some of the videos are close up, showing only the head, some are cock and balls, some are with my legs up showing my butt hole, some are wide view room. I need to be careful of some of them, they may show my face and that would be embarrassing in the wrong hands, but the ones showing my face are also the most exciting while I jack off. In particular, the videos of me with my legs over my head and cumming in my own face would be very embarrassing because my face is the focus of the video. I've posted some of the videos (coworker jack off, thermometer insertion, mother in law, etc) because I get horny knowing others are also watching them.

I'm currently looking for a correlation between what I'm looking at while masturbating, how I'm stimulating my penis, and if the semen shoots far or just rolls out. I know that I'm older, so I know it's not going to shoot as far as it did when I was masturbating daily as a teen. But it's interesting and exciting to playback videos of my ejaculations to study it.

So far, there are no surprises. If I go several days or weeks without ejaculating, there's more cum and more distance. If I masturbate when my wife is not home and not expected to be home anytime soon, I can slow down and edge repeatedly, resulting in more cum volume and distance.

I'm also a little self-conscious of my facial expressions while I'm climaxing. My face looks like I'm either crying or angry when I'm cumming, it does not look like a face of pleasure. It's something that you wouldn't know about yourself unless you video recorded it or watched your face in a mirror. I'm typically not looking at my face in a mirror when I jack off in the bathroom, I'm looking at my cumshot. My wife looks like she's angry when she has an orgasm. Her eyes are closed at the time and even though she is somewhat smiling and enjoying for orgasm, her forehead and her eyes look like she's mad. I would never tell her that because she be self-conscious about it and wouldn't want me to watch her cum anymore.


 

Redhead with tattoos


My wife and I have no tattoos. We never had any interest in them. But that doesn't mean I haven't noticed others and their tattoos.

A have a co-worker, maybe 21 years old, with many tats. They cover her arms, her upper chest, neck, and legs (I saw her in shorts). I figured she may have more but that's all I could see that's not covered by clothes. She's about 5'4" and maybe 120 lbs. She's very average looking. She had a lot of street attitude, a flirty personality and small breasts. She's a redhead but her hair color changes frequently; I think she's a brunette today.

Her tattoos and her attitude make me think that she's a slutty party girl, and the thought of her being a dirty party girl gets me horny. I found her pictures on social media and they confirmed she has many more tats and she does like to party.

I imagine party girls are easy to get in bed. When I masturbate looking at her pictures, I fantasize that she readily sucks cock and fucks etc promiscuously, and I get hard thinking about showing up somewhere and getting her naked quickly because she's a slut. Because she's a slut, I'd like her to do some things to me or with me that I'd never let my wife know I wanted to do. For example, i'd like her to get naked, tease me to get me hard, then kick me in the balls. I'd like her to lube my cock and make me edge, then force her little finger into my urethra. Also, because she's a slut, really don't think about fucking her pussy or ass; I think there's been way too much cum in those holes. I'll stick with her mouth and face.

When I'm getting ready to cum, sometimes I slap my cock and balls, imagining she's doing it. I fantasize about shooting my cum all over her chest, face, up her nose, in her eyes, and getting some in her hair. Sometimes i try to replicate the fantasy cumshot by laying on my back, bringing my legs over my head and ejaculating in my own face. Another way is instead of cumming on a towel or some other easy cleanup method, I purposely make a mess; I'll lay on my back, and when I start ejaculating, I maintain a fast stroke and point my penis in various directions so it shoots everywhere and makes a mess all over. I keep stroking while my penis gets softer and softer because it's sloppier. I fantasize that a dirty girl would like a sloppy cumshot all over her, so I make a mess all over myself when I ejaculate. I also plan to make sure that I do not have any towels or anything near me to clean up afterwards; this forces me to either lick the cum off my hands or go look for a towel or something while trying to keep the semen from dripping everywhere, getting on the carpet, the furniture, etc. All of this being part of my masturbation fantasy.





 
Remodeling and my niece


Many years ago, I was helping my brother-in-law on a major home remodeling project at his house. The room we were working in was adjacent to a bathroom with a shower. We were tearing down walls, putting in new studs, new drywall, wiring, plumbing etc. I got off work from my regular job a couple hours before him each day, and I would go over there and start some work and he would come home to work an hour or two later.

My niece, who was 18 or 19 at the time, was very athletic and trim. She had just started college and played numerous sports. She was beautiful, had long blonde hair, a fit and toned 5'3" body, and rather small breasts.

One day I was there before my brother-in-law and I was working. I heard water running in the adjacent bathroom. I looked over towards the dividing wall and saw some light coming through some small holes in the bathroom wall that were there because we were tying new plumbing into the existing plumbing in that bathroom. My mind began to wander as I was thinking about the possibility that I might see somebody naked in that bathroom through one of the holes. I turned off the lights in the room I was working in and made my way over to the holes.

My heart started pounding and my cock started throbbing when I looked through the holes and saw my niece getting undressed to go in the shower. She must have just got home from one of her sporting events and would shower each time she came home. I clearly saw her perfect young body in the bright light of the bathroom. I started to rub my penis through my pants as I was trying to control myself as she started getting naked. That didn't last long and I pulled my dick out and started feeling the pre-cum on the tip. (I hadn't jacked off in several days and when I pulled my dick out it was already dripping pre-cum.) My niece turned around and I saw that she had brown pubic hair. I had thought that maybe she was shaved because she was athletic, but she wasn't and her pubic hair was trimmed yet thick and beautiful. I suddenly ejaculated without even stroking my penis when I saw her pubic hair.

Knowing that hat she played sports several days a week at a minimum, I made sure that I was at my brother-in-law's house regularly just to see if she would shower in that brief amount of time before my brother-in-law got home. I also brought condoms to catch my semen so I didn't have to try to hide the evidence of my ejaculation.

Over the next month or so as we work through the project and completed it, I was fortunate to see my niece nude three more times. I masturbated and ejaculated all three times. One time she did a self breast exam which was interesting, and two times she peed on the toilet before showering. And each time after she got out of the shower, she put on underpants and nothing else while she combed her wet hair . One additional bonus, I saw my sister-in-law in the bathroom once changing her clothes. Although she is older and heavier, she's a pretty woman and at least I saw her breasts with small nipples. I jacked off that time too. Now, years later, when I'm at as family event and my niece is there, I think about what I saw back then, and I jack off when I get home.

 
Helping my drunk niece


I have a lot of nieces on my wife's side of the family. One of my nieces who is grown now drinks way too much, and I think that she may be an alcoholic. At family events she gets hammered. My wife and I, and others, take turns driving her home because she can't drive and I think she doesn't even have a license anymore. One time at a family event she got hammered and needed a ride home. My wife was not at the event and I offered to drive her home. When we give her a ride home will usually walked in her house and get her on her couch and then we leave. This was very similar; I walked her in the house got her on the couch and got ready to leave and she started undressing and mumbling that she had to get ready for bed. She is about 5 foot 6, brown hair, pretty face, but a little overweight and big tits. Being married and her being my niece there was no way that anything would ever happen between us. None the less I took my time leaving because I might catch a glimpse of her naked. She was stumbling around and had a lot of trouble even getting undressed because she was really drunk. She eventually had her shirt and bra off, but could not negotiate getting her jeans off. Her breasts were like cantaloupes with big nipples, and kind of saggy. She sat down on her couch and struggled with her jeans and couldn't get them off and kind of passed out on the couch topless with her jeans on. I stood stood there watching all this, and started to get a boner. I tried calling her name and I even went over and shook her a little bit to see if she was totally passed out or what. She was out for the night.

As I stared at her tits, I got harder and harder. I pulled out my penis and started masturbating. I walked over and touched one of her breasts. It was very soft and and I bounced it up and down a little bit gently without squeezing it. I continued to masturbate and soon after I ejaculated into my hand. I left the room and washed my hands.

I wish that the story ended there, but as I was about to leave I looked over at her desk and saw that she has a video security camera system. On the split screen monitor I saw that one of the cameras was in the living room. I thought to myself "oh shit" because of what I just did. For the next hour or so I screwed around with that stupid system trying to figure out if it actually recorded and if so how do I delete it. I figured it out and yes, the camera recorded me masturbating standing next to my niece. There was no sound in the recording, but it clearly showed me stroking my cock and my knees look like they were buckling under me during my orgasm. Although the semen shooting out of my penis wasn't easy to see, you can see my face somewhat grimace when I came, and also me looking at the cum in my hand, and trying not to let it drip. I was able to erase the video and then I left. My niece never woke up during all of this. Needless to say,I think I need to masturbate at my own house from now on.
  

Flat-chested co-worker


I pound my cock into submission sometimes because of a thin blonde I work with. She's about 30 - decades younger than me - and she's about 5'5' 110 lbs, wide hips, and little if any tits. She wears her hair in a ponytail and I see her in a t-shirt and jeans most of the time. The t-shirt falls loose down her front somewhat like a thin male; I can hardly tell if she has any tits at all. That's actually what turns me on.

I kinda obsessed with checking her out to see of she's wearing even a sports bra or anything as I've yet seen any bumps that may be tits or nipples. She's friendly, says hello, and occasionally winks at me. I think the winking is just her personality and not coming on to me (I am a whole lot older) but nonetheless the winking adds to my jackoff fantasies.

I jackoff to her picture and my fantasy of finding out how flat she actually is. I'd like to fuck her doggy style just to be in the position to reach under her and feel what tit she may or may not have while I cum in her ass her vagina. I also would like to know if she shaves her pubes, but I'm good either way with this woman.

 
Redhead singer


I volunteer at my church in a support role, meaning I’m not on stage but am typically backstage to assist with mics, amps, etc. My position backstage provides a limited view of the band and singers, but the view I do get is of gyrating butts, in particular , one of the redhead vocalists. She’s about 35 years old, about 5’0’’ and maybe 105 lbs, long red hair and an average body. Her tits may be a 34B. What makes her attractive is she’s outgoing and interesting, she’s hot, she wiggles her body and makes me horny, and maybe most of all she’s a worship leader which makes her more off limits than anyone.

I watch her sing and lead worship and I start getting hard. When we’re on a break I sit near her and look at the way her dress gently but conservatively fits the shape of her little body. On Facebook, she once posted a picture of herself bending over showing cleavage; I was able to save it before she realized she showed cleavage and took it down. She’s beautiful, and I never had sex with a redhead. My wife is little jealous of her young hot appearance (we’re more than 20 years older) and my sexual fantasies about the redhead won’t be anything I’d ever share with my wife.

Anyway, I fantasize having her strip nude in front of me and letting me examine her little body without physical contact. I’m interested to see if she has pubic hair or if she shaves. I’d like to fuck this cute redhead in the ass doggy style and cum deep inside her. I’d like to slap her little titties and jack off on them. I’d also like to her to sit next to me fully dressed and watch me jack off. I’d like to have her suck my cock and then jack me off on her face. She has a beautiful smile and that alone makes me hard.

When I get home from church, I masturbate. Sometimes I just look at her picture and masturbate. Sometimes, while jacking off, I’ll cum in a condom, then suck the cum out while looking at her picture.

 
My cousin

When I was a young teen just learning how to jack off, I started noticing girls in a sexual way. One of the “girls” I noticed was my cousin Cheryl who was at least 10 years older than me. My parents took me to my cousin’s house and we’d swim in their built-in pool. Cheryl and my other cousins were there also swimming in the pool, and although she was my cousin, I couldn’t help noticing how great she looked in a bikini. She was maybe 23-25 years old and had a very womanly figure. Not large but nice firm breasts, thin waist, and slightly wider hips. She was trim and had beautiful thick shoulder-length black hair. Back then – in the late 1960’s to early 1970’s - women weren’t shaving their pubes, so it was a bonus to see a stray pubic hair sticking out between her legs or just above her bikini bottom. I saw cleavage and may have even saw a slight bit of a nipple but nothing more than that. She took no interest in me as I was her cousin and a young boy. I tried many times to spy on her to see if I could see her naked while changing but no such luck. But that didn’t stop me from masturbating when I got home.

Now, 40 years later, my wife and I ran into her at a local store and caught up briefly. Cheryl is now maybe at least 65 years old, and certainly doesn’t look like the cousin I used to fantasize about. But for whatever reason, I couldn’t wait to get home and jack off thinking about how I felt many years ago. When I got home I was lucky enough to find her picture on Facebook, and I took it into the bathroom and watched myself in the mirror jacking off. I edged for maybe 10 minutes then ejaculated on to a towel with a powerful, satisfying orgasm. I’ve jacked off for Cheryl a few times since then. It’s funny how men my age still fantasize about women and get horny. And here I am masturbating and jacking off for a 65 year old woman , my cousin Cheryl. Wow.