Sex Jokes

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold onto your nuts,this is no ordinary blowjob

Sex is like misdemeanour the more I miss da meaner I get

Why do women have sex with the lights off?
They don't like seeing their man having a good time

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex
Call her and tell her

Two potatoes are standing on the corner,which is the prostitute?
The one that says'IDAHO"

A brunette told her blonde friend ' I slept with a Brazilian'
The blonde replied 'OH MY GOD,YOU SLUT,how many is a Brazilian?'

Why does Dr Pepper come(cum) in a bottle?
Because Mrs Pepper died

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front,Poker to the rear

Which sexual position produces the ugliest people?
Ask your parents

What's a sluts favourite drink?
7up in cider

Man: You want to hear a joke about my dick? never mind it's too long
Woman: You want to hear a joke about my pussy? never mind you won't get it

What do you call the useless piece of skin attached to the penis
The man

What's the words you dread most during sex?
Honey i'm home!

What does a midget get if he runs under a woman's legs?
A clit around the ear

What do you call a Arabic stripper?
Yaseen Memuff

What's the difference between a washing machine and women?
A washing machine doesn't moan after you put a load in it

What's the difference between you and a nail?
A nail always gets hammered

How can you tell if your husband's dead?
The sex is the same but you have the remote

What did the slutty chicken squawk at dawn?
ANYCOCKELLDOO!

A forgetful pianist was playing at the pub one night but couldn't remember any song titles he wrote so named them after rude words,after a moment a woman screamed "OH MY GOD DO YOU KNOW YOUR DICK'S HANGING OUT YOUR PANTS YOU NASTY FUCKING PERVERT!" He replied "Know it love? I fucking wrote it"

A man is laying on a nudist beach and puts he's hat over he's dick to stop sunburn ,a ugly transvestite walks past and says 'if you were any kind of gentleman you'd raise your hat to a lady!" He replied 'and if you were a lady it would raise itself'
Diterbitkan oleh LucyLuvhart13
8 tahun lalu
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 8 bulan lalu
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AngelababysDaddy
AngelababysDaddy 8 bulan lalu
what do you have if you have nuts on your chest? chestnuts. Why do you have if you have nuts on your chin? A mouthful of cock
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qbert1952
qbert1952 10 bulan lalu
ke LucyLuvhart13 : Personally I wouldn't mind having mu cock on my chin to suck your clit as I fuck you.  :heart:
LucyLuvhart13
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 10 bulan lalu
ke qbert1952 : Haha good jokes
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 10 bulan lalu
ke ScaryFun69 : Thanks hun lol
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ScaryFun69
ScaryFun69 10 bulan lalu
There are some good ones on there 🤪
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
God is a man.  If God were a woman every man would have his cock on his chin.
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
What's the difference beween a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
Whats the difference between jelly and jam?  I can't jelly my cock up your ass.
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning?  They don't have balls to scratch.
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
What's the difference between picnic and panic?  28 days.
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
Whats the difference from a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?  One snatches your watch.
LucyLuvhart13
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qbert1952
qbert1952 1 tahun lalu
What's the difference between a girls relay team and a band of pigmy's?  One is a bunch of cunning runts.
LucyLuvhart13
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 1 tahun lalu
ke YolandaSnake : Haha
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YolandaSnake
YolandaSnake 1 tahun lalu
I love to read Arthurian legends, especially that Cum-a-lot part.
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hottvcarole
hottvcarole 1 tahun lalu
A man and wife go to the doctor who requested a sperm sample. They returned the next day unfortunately the specimen phial was empty. When asked why the wife replied. He tried with just his hands but no luck, I tried with my hands. Then he tried with his mouth, no luck. I tried with my mouth no luck. We even got out our neighbour to with her hand and then her mouth. But we couldn’t get the damm lid off.
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 1 tahun lalu
Haha
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cock4yruse 5 tahun lalu
an old man&woman go to the doctors.the nurse asks the man"we need asample of yr shit,urine &a sample of yr sperm"..the oldman turns to his wife and says "wot did she say" his wife replied "they want yr underwear":wink:
LucyLuvhart13
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LEFTBEND
lol lame but funny as fuck, got a few chuckles out of me 
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different_light 6 tahun lalu
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? If you're kinky you enjoy getting tickled with feathers but a pervert wants to fuck the chicken
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AngelababysDaddy
AngelababysDaddy 7 tahun lalu
what's the difference between a pair of panties and a police car?
You can only get one cunt in a pair of panties
LucyLuvhart13
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AngelababysDaddy
AngelababysDaddy 7 tahun lalu
I went to a back street doctors to get a cheap circumcision
Turns out it was a rip off
LucyLuvhart13
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anmky
anmky 7 tahun lalu
Bought some flavoured condoms recently : my girlfriend said " hey these are good ! This one tastes just like cheese and pickle ! " I said " I haven't put one on yet !"
LucyLuvhart13
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 7 tahun lalu
Lol Why did the pervert regret fucking the chicken crossing the road? He was disappointed the chicken never had beef curtains
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 7 tahun lalu
ke anmky : Why did the chicken cross the road? He was on the perverts cock
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anmky
anmky 7 tahun lalu
Why did the pervert cross the road : because he was fucking the chicken .
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anmky
anmky 7 tahun lalu
How do you stop your girlfriend from giving you blow jobs :- marry her .
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anmky
anmky 7 tahun lalu
As the prostitute said to the priest , after a paying visit. " you've not got a very big organ " he retorted " well it's never had to play in a cathedral before " .
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666Rhino
666Rhino 7 tahun lalu
Thanks Lucy
I had a real laugh here
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LucyLuvhart13
LucyLuvhart13 Penerbit 8 tahun lalu
ke blade136 : lol
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