Feeling sexy - evolution of the breasts

I remember vividly the first time I put on a pair of panties. Perhaps a story for another time. But suffice to say I was hooked. The feeling I got from those little silky delights was like nothing I had ever felt. I remember thinking to myself that I couldnt wait until I was old enough to have my own apartment and I could get my own closet full of pretty things.

I was not, and am not feminine in my daily life. But being a high energy person that gets easily consumed with work and tasks and goals, taking some "me" time and dressing up and pleasuring myself has always provided an escape for me. Though I am not really entirely comfortable with being a crossdresser...I kind of wish I were not...it sure beats being a d**g addict or an alcoholic or something else. It is fairly harmless after all. The only thing I live with is the fear of people finding out that probably would not accept me. But if that happened, I could live with it.

So I continue with my secret hobby. Through the years, it has evolved slowly of course. At first I just wore panties and masturbated in them. I think it was more the silky feeling of the fabric and the forbidden nature of wearing them. But then came a bra, and of course stuffing it with socks! That was fine for the first few times of course, but I soon looked for ways to fill in the pretty cups more realistically. I fashion some foam falsies out of one of the couch cushions in the family room. I cut out peices in two cushions and filled them in with paper towels. It was funny hearing my mom talk about how weird that was a few years later when she went to reuphoster the couch and saw a round cutout in each cushion. Of course she had no idea.

In college, I never had a chance to dress up, but I thought about it all the time. Then, I got my own place. The first thing I did was order a cute teddy and I wore it to bed every night. Then came a cute matching bra and panty set, and I went back to the foam falsies. Before long, I tried using thick balloons and filling them with warm water. I liked the weight and feeling of them, but the shape wasn't quite right of course, and they would tend to fall out. But that was all I could come up with for a few years. My wardrobe grew little by little. Before long I had about a half dozen bras and panties, and I had graduated to garter belts and stockings, and a sexy bustier. It was just lingerie though. The bras were all padded too, because I needed the padding to smooth out my bustline of course.

It was about this time that Victorias Secret started showing up in every mall, and their catalogue came to every mailbox. This was a special experience for me, going into the lingerie store and being able to touch everything and sort through all the bras and panties and pretty things. Of course, I was always "buying for my girlfriend"

I also realized that my feminine and submissive side, and how much I enjoyed my own cock, that I began to experiment a bit with men. My first experience, I was in a booth in an adult shop. There was a hole in the wall and I put my cock in there and the guy on the other side gave mea blowjob like I never knew a blowjob to be. He swallowed my cum too. It was very nice. A couple of awkward experiences soon led to some really hot ones. I liked it. As it turned out, I was quite a good cock sucker too. Then, I got a dildo, and started to learn how good it felt to have something resembling a cock in my ass. Of course, before long, I had moved up to real cock, and now, I enjoy a good occasional fucking with the most well hung man I can find. I love big cocks.

But I still have never been able to be with a guy while dressed up. I really want to do that. I really envy the gurls on here that have that. I am sure it will happen soon, as now I am really looking for it. But in order for that to happen, I knew I would have to get my look a bit more put together and complete.

Anyway...one day, I saw a commercial for some silicone breast petals. I had to get some. They were shaped like a half-breast, but I bought two sets and put them together to fill out my bra cups. The first time I put them in and placed my hands on the satin cups of my pushup bra, I almost climaxed instantly. They seemed so real.

My wardrobe continued to evolve. I bought my first dress, and that was an experience too. Again, slipping it on over my pretty undies, almost made my head explode.

Shortly after my dress purchase, I took a bigger leap. I bought a wig and some makeup. I put on a little makeup when I was teenager, sneaking some of my moms makeup. It was interesting, but didnt especially turn me on. I like the smell of it though.

Well I bought a wig and some makeup and once again, when I got all dolled up and looked at myself in the mirror, it would send me into a state of arousal and a mind blowing climax.

Then came some sexy heels, and perfume. I started shaving my legs and body smooth too. I remember feeling my smooth legs in my stockings...and you guessed it. I came a load of bullets.

But now that you have read this much, I come to the part were I really had an almost spiritual experience. I bought a pair of prosthetic breast forms. I used medical adhesive to attach them to my chest. I was amazzed at how real they felt. The weight and the movement of them inside my bra was itense. With them attached to me, and my nipples, I felt so girly. Then it occurred to me that I could probably go braless now. I unclipped my bra and slipped the straps down off my shoulders and as my bra slipped off my new breasts. They sagged just a bit and they jiggled and moved with my body. Wow. My head almost exploded. My pulse raced and my breath was heavy. This was amazing. It opened up a whole new range of wardrobe for me, because now I could wear soft cup bras or just go braless, which was an amazing feeling.

I had a pretty silk top and a frilly skirt. I put them on and some stockings and shoes and my hair and makeup, and I sat on my biggest fattest dildo and rode it into the sunset. I bounced up and down and felt my tits bouncing with every motion I made on that big cock.

I do this about once a week now, and I have the most amazing orgasm everytime. It never gets old for me.

But I do want to meet a guy who will fuck me. Ultimately, I would like to be able to go bareback and feel the full experience of being a woman and having a man cum inside me. I know that would be amazing.

I have no desire to transition or live as a woman. Its just a fetish for me, and I like it that way. I like visiting my gurly side once in while. Its my special place. Won't you come with me? Drop me a line if you think you could be the one...