How I earn my right to be a Jack of Spade - Part I
From a Normal Heterosexual Whiteboi to a Complete Embracing Jack of Spades. It didn’t happen over night.
Earn is a good word and How the Journey began.
A little background: I grew up in a white working/middle class small town in Rhode Island. My Mother had a black boss and had gone to school with his sister. There were a few black families in town. Most grades (1-8) had about 120 k**s divided into 4 classrooms all the classrooms seem to have 1 or 2 black k**s. The high school served 2 towns. 9-12. The whole high school had maybe 25-30 black k**s. out of 1300 total students.Yes we had our star Black athletes But I remember the lead characters in the Drama Club plays were not always white. Black k**ss could play a lead traditionally played by a white students but of course not a romantic lead) Our class VP was Black. In school me, a Japanese guy and a Mixed race Black guy all hung out with each other. I would say the Japanese guy and me were best friends outside of school. So other races were not foreign to me.
As a whiteboi in my 20s, living in New Hampshire, I didn’t have the right to serve Black Men, I needed to earn it, and acknowledge my weaknesses, and educate myself about the superiority of the Black race. When I started sucking Dick, a Black man was a treat, as there were not too many Black men available in New Hampshire. But Soon I noticed I enjoyed being with Black men more than whitebois. (they were men, but compared to Black men they were little boys with little dicks) It was obvious Black men were better endowed, had a better man scent and often were more confident and definitely more virile. In my early 20s I lived and worked in the Caribbean for 3 years. I looked but didn’t act, but lived in a local Black neighborhood in the country. I did see men and boys swimming nude and it was definitely home of the Big Black Dick. I did fuck a couple Black women. (I hadn’t accepted who I was.) I had never seen dicks so big and beautiful. After 3 years I came back to New Hampshire for a year and then moved to Dallas for 3 years and was able service quite a few Black and also Mexican Men, but I was still servicing mostly white dick. I moved back to New Hampshire for a few years. I didn’t have many opportunities to service dicks and when I did it was white dick. I then took another job in the Caribbean for 3 years and it great. I went down thinking I was going to change and was going to be fucking white tourists but that idea didn’t last long. Always met up with the locals (Black Caribbean Men) and never the white tourists male or female. When I came back to New Hampshire, Black Men were about non existence in the area I lived in. (I lived north of Manchester which had few Black Men.) I went through a dry spell of not servicing anyone and those I did were almost always white. Nice but not very satisfying. Small town living didn't allow me to hook up. Also during this time my folks lived near Providence RI. so on my way back to my house after visiting them, I would stop in the Combat Zone, in Boston, a collection of adult bookstores and the Pilgrim Theater - once a grand theater but not now, and was just showing straight porn. The Combat Zone was a dicksucker paradise. Quite a few Black dicks but mostly white. I should explain these were all Blo n go, that said I did not suck all dicks that were presented or available. I was selective whether Black, white, Chinese or Latino. (Hell I had some standards) It should have been 3 and a half hour trip home, but for me it was a 5 to 7 or 8 hour trip because of my stop in Boston. My biggest fear I would leave something at my folks and they would call me to tell me. lol This would be hard to explain why I wasn’t home. (This was pre cell phone) I would only go to Boston when I made a trip to my folks. Motels/Hotels in Boston were too expensive to make side trips, plus by not going I didn’t have to feel guilty being close to my folks and not seeing them. Lol. Basically living the life of a closeted white gay.
Then my luck changed I went to a conference in Atlanta. The luck didn't change in Atlanta, as you might think. It changed on the trip driving down to Atlanta. I drove down with 3 women. One of the women was driving and I was in the back seat enjoying the ride. Imagine my excitement when driving through Hartford I saw the Luv Bookstore sign. (I can’t remember if it was Luv or something else) I made a Mental Note to Self – I’ll have to check this out) On the way back from Atlanta I paid attention to what exit I would need to take. Well I was familiar with bookstores/video stores had visited quite a few while living in Dallas plus Boston and other places I traveled, and New Hampshire had a couple but not near me.
First chance I got I went to Hartford. I picked up a gay newspaper at a adult bookstore, and noticed an ad for a telephone hook up line. The motels in the area were cheaper, so I could spend a night, go to the bookstores and also use the hook up line. It increased my chances of success in hooking up. I got more dick, but I was still sucking white and Black dick, but definitely Black Dick was my preference and favorite. and I became more selective of the white dicks I would suck. I stopped sucking blond hair blue eyed guys, and pasty skinned whitebois. Whitebois had to be darkhaired and not pale skin. (Certainly was discrimination against whitebois) But this was how it was. And this also started me on weaning myself off white dick and gravitating to all Black and Latino men and other Men of Color. It felt so right.
Continued in: Part II The age of the computer, the Internet and enlightenment
Earn is a good word and How the Journey began.
A little background: I grew up in a white working/middle class small town in Rhode Island. My Mother had a black boss and had gone to school with his sister. There were a few black families in town. Most grades (1-8) had about 120 k**s divided into 4 classrooms all the classrooms seem to have 1 or 2 black k**s. The high school served 2 towns. 9-12. The whole high school had maybe 25-30 black k**s. out of 1300 total students.Yes we had our star Black athletes But I remember the lead characters in the Drama Club plays were not always white. Black k**ss could play a lead traditionally played by a white students but of course not a romantic lead) Our class VP was Black. In school me, a Japanese guy and a Mixed race Black guy all hung out with each other. I would say the Japanese guy and me were best friends outside of school. So other races were not foreign to me.
As a whiteboi in my 20s, living in New Hampshire, I didn’t have the right to serve Black Men, I needed to earn it, and acknowledge my weaknesses, and educate myself about the superiority of the Black race. When I started sucking Dick, a Black man was a treat, as there were not too many Black men available in New Hampshire. But Soon I noticed I enjoyed being with Black men more than whitebois. (they were men, but compared to Black men they were little boys with little dicks) It was obvious Black men were better endowed, had a better man scent and often were more confident and definitely more virile. In my early 20s I lived and worked in the Caribbean for 3 years. I looked but didn’t act, but lived in a local Black neighborhood in the country. I did see men and boys swimming nude and it was definitely home of the Big Black Dick. I did fuck a couple Black women. (I hadn’t accepted who I was.) I had never seen dicks so big and beautiful. After 3 years I came back to New Hampshire for a year and then moved to Dallas for 3 years and was able service quite a few Black and also Mexican Men, but I was still servicing mostly white dick. I moved back to New Hampshire for a few years. I didn’t have many opportunities to service dicks and when I did it was white dick. I then took another job in the Caribbean for 3 years and it great. I went down thinking I was going to change and was going to be fucking white tourists but that idea didn’t last long. Always met up with the locals (Black Caribbean Men) and never the white tourists male or female. When I came back to New Hampshire, Black Men were about non existence in the area I lived in. (I lived north of Manchester which had few Black Men.) I went through a dry spell of not servicing anyone and those I did were almost always white. Nice but not very satisfying. Small town living didn't allow me to hook up. Also during this time my folks lived near Providence RI. so on my way back to my house after visiting them, I would stop in the Combat Zone, in Boston, a collection of adult bookstores and the Pilgrim Theater - once a grand theater but not now, and was just showing straight porn. The Combat Zone was a dicksucker paradise. Quite a few Black dicks but mostly white. I should explain these were all Blo n go, that said I did not suck all dicks that were presented or available. I was selective whether Black, white, Chinese or Latino. (Hell I had some standards) It should have been 3 and a half hour trip home, but for me it was a 5 to 7 or 8 hour trip because of my stop in Boston. My biggest fear I would leave something at my folks and they would call me to tell me. lol This would be hard to explain why I wasn’t home. (This was pre cell phone) I would only go to Boston when I made a trip to my folks. Motels/Hotels in Boston were too expensive to make side trips, plus by not going I didn’t have to feel guilty being close to my folks and not seeing them. Lol. Basically living the life of a closeted white gay.
Then my luck changed I went to a conference in Atlanta. The luck didn't change in Atlanta, as you might think. It changed on the trip driving down to Atlanta. I drove down with 3 women. One of the women was driving and I was in the back seat enjoying the ride. Imagine my excitement when driving through Hartford I saw the Luv Bookstore sign. (I can’t remember if it was Luv or something else) I made a Mental Note to Self – I’ll have to check this out) On the way back from Atlanta I paid attention to what exit I would need to take. Well I was familiar with bookstores/video stores had visited quite a few while living in Dallas plus Boston and other places I traveled, and New Hampshire had a couple but not near me.
First chance I got I went to Hartford. I picked up a gay newspaper at a adult bookstore, and noticed an ad for a telephone hook up line. The motels in the area were cheaper, so I could spend a night, go to the bookstores and also use the hook up line. It increased my chances of success in hooking up. I got more dick, but I was still sucking white and Black dick, but definitely Black Dick was my preference and favorite. and I became more selective of the white dicks I would suck. I stopped sucking blond hair blue eyed guys, and pasty skinned whitebois. Whitebois had to be darkhaired and not pale skin. (Certainly was discrimination against whitebois) But this was how it was. And this also started me on weaning myself off white dick and gravitating to all Black and Latino men and other Men of Color. It felt so right.
Continued in: Part II The age of the computer, the Internet and enlightenment
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