Control
So many themes intertwine with sexuality, one of particular interest to me as a gay man is that of control. How much do we desire control? Do we secretly crave the lack of it? I've always been a borderline control freak, always wanting to feel in command of a situation. I think it even manifests in that I almost always drive when I'm in a car, I'm rarely the passenger. And yet I've occasionally experienced complete surrender. What drives this? I've got some theories. It could be a holdover from some sense of shame. It could be a desire to rest our overtaxed brains, to be able to stop thinking for a moment. It may be something instinctual.
I would say I was mostly a top when I was younger. My performance and confidence was fueled by my very eager and responsive penis. The damn thing would get hard at the drop of a hat. But the fun part is I could cum and cum and cum again. How hot then to top a willing bottom, mouth or ass, feed them some cum, then be ready to go again in a short period of time? I mostly enjoyed the sensation my penis provided. But I also occasionally found it hot to be the aggressive daddy. I sometimes adopt this role with Boy, as can be seen in one of our videos, asserting myself to get my cock sucked or ass eaten, even going so far as to piss on him a bit in this instance. Here's where to see that video: https://xhamster.com/videos/pup-asserts-dominance-over-horny-boy-and-gets-serviced-xhpeHRB.
Oftentimes this behavior may be tied to emphasizing a particular physical trait, like having pretty big nuts or an abundance of natural musk. I love having my hairy ass eaten, enjoying the feeling and the thought of someone with their face buried in my musky hole. I can in these instances feel the urge of the dom, wanting to force a submissive male to lose themselves in my masculine stink, feeling the urge to plant my seed in them, and mark my property when done. If they finish sex with the rank smell of my pits and ripe ass emanating from them, I have done well.
I think mostly I just like servicing. Some fun encounters have included me on my knees, going between cocks, sucking Boy and whomever we are playing with. I've enjoyed eating some hot, hairy asses, but most of the time it is service, not total surrender. However, there have been some occasions where I've tapped into something much more powerful. One occasion was back in the Craigslist days. We got in touch with a married bi guy on the downlow. He was getting off work and wanted to stop by for service. This guy was quite sexy, well-dressed and well-groomed in his business casual outfit right down to his dress socks. He probably had a limited window of time, so as I recall he took off his shoes and dropped his pants and sat down on our rimseat, legs spread. I got under his feet and inhaled the stink of his socks and a switch flipped in my brain. Suddenly I had no will except what this dominant man would have me do. My cock was rock hard and before I knew it, I was calling him "sir" and "daddy". I think i quickly started leaking precum and shot my wad. He definitely owned it as I ate his hairy hole and sucked his beautiful cock. My legs were in the air, my hole suddenly wanting to have this man inside me. I begged him for his piss, and settled for his cum. What's even hotter is while he was completely in control of me, he motioned to Boy that he wanted to suck Boy's cock. Woof!
Mind you, I'm a pretty willful, independent person, but for just a brief moment I was caught up in something primal. I was the inferior male, there only to serve the dominant male. My a****l brain could sense him by the way he looked, the way he moved and carried himself, subtleties of posture, and the way he smelled. He had a bigger cock than I have, he was most likely stronger, could hold me down or overpower me, and he was younger, in his prime. His cock was rock hard throughout our encounter, his balls full of his seed. My cock often needs coaxing now, more inclined to dangle unneeded during sex. Boy watched in disbelief as his Pup, his hairy daddy bear, became a total sub.
What drove me that day? There is something exciting and dangerous about surrendering to another. It could be as simple as a thrill or adrenaline high. I wonder if it is some deep-seated shame we carry inside ourselves. Sexuality is all too often left for us to discover on our own. The few messages we receive as we mature are often ones of shame. "Sex is sinful, it's dirty, don't touch yourself down there." But we eventually find that there's pleasure to be had in so many ways. Our bodies are built for sensation and yet we must reconcile the ecstasy of our orgasm with any sense of guilt we carry for even thinking dirty thoughts. Perhaps at some point we decide we should be punished, that we are not worthy. Our own pleasure doesn't matter, so we serve one more deserving. If we surrender our will then whatever happens is not our fault.
I would say I was mostly a top when I was younger. My performance and confidence was fueled by my very eager and responsive penis. The damn thing would get hard at the drop of a hat. But the fun part is I could cum and cum and cum again. How hot then to top a willing bottom, mouth or ass, feed them some cum, then be ready to go again in a short period of time? I mostly enjoyed the sensation my penis provided. But I also occasionally found it hot to be the aggressive daddy. I sometimes adopt this role with Boy, as can be seen in one of our videos, asserting myself to get my cock sucked or ass eaten, even going so far as to piss on him a bit in this instance. Here's where to see that video: https://xhamster.com/videos/pup-asserts-dominance-over-horny-boy-and-gets-serviced-xhpeHRB.
Oftentimes this behavior may be tied to emphasizing a particular physical trait, like having pretty big nuts or an abundance of natural musk. I love having my hairy ass eaten, enjoying the feeling and the thought of someone with their face buried in my musky hole. I can in these instances feel the urge of the dom, wanting to force a submissive male to lose themselves in my masculine stink, feeling the urge to plant my seed in them, and mark my property when done. If they finish sex with the rank smell of my pits and ripe ass emanating from them, I have done well.
I think mostly I just like servicing. Some fun encounters have included me on my knees, going between cocks, sucking Boy and whomever we are playing with. I've enjoyed eating some hot, hairy asses, but most of the time it is service, not total surrender. However, there have been some occasions where I've tapped into something much more powerful. One occasion was back in the Craigslist days. We got in touch with a married bi guy on the downlow. He was getting off work and wanted to stop by for service. This guy was quite sexy, well-dressed and well-groomed in his business casual outfit right down to his dress socks. He probably had a limited window of time, so as I recall he took off his shoes and dropped his pants and sat down on our rimseat, legs spread. I got under his feet and inhaled the stink of his socks and a switch flipped in my brain. Suddenly I had no will except what this dominant man would have me do. My cock was rock hard and before I knew it, I was calling him "sir" and "daddy". I think i quickly started leaking precum and shot my wad. He definitely owned it as I ate his hairy hole and sucked his beautiful cock. My legs were in the air, my hole suddenly wanting to have this man inside me. I begged him for his piss, and settled for his cum. What's even hotter is while he was completely in control of me, he motioned to Boy that he wanted to suck Boy's cock. Woof!
Mind you, I'm a pretty willful, independent person, but for just a brief moment I was caught up in something primal. I was the inferior male, there only to serve the dominant male. My a****l brain could sense him by the way he looked, the way he moved and carried himself, subtleties of posture, and the way he smelled. He had a bigger cock than I have, he was most likely stronger, could hold me down or overpower me, and he was younger, in his prime. His cock was rock hard throughout our encounter, his balls full of his seed. My cock often needs coaxing now, more inclined to dangle unneeded during sex. Boy watched in disbelief as his Pup, his hairy daddy bear, became a total sub.
What drove me that day? There is something exciting and dangerous about surrendering to another. It could be as simple as a thrill or adrenaline high. I wonder if it is some deep-seated shame we carry inside ourselves. Sexuality is all too often left for us to discover on our own. The few messages we receive as we mature are often ones of shame. "Sex is sinful, it's dirty, don't touch yourself down there." But we eventually find that there's pleasure to be had in so many ways. Our bodies are built for sensation and yet we must reconcile the ecstasy of our orgasm with any sense of guilt we carry for even thinking dirty thoughts. Perhaps at some point we decide we should be punished, that we are not worthy. Our own pleasure doesn't matter, so we serve one more deserving. If we surrender our will then whatever happens is not our fault.
There's also body image, conforming to an ideal. If we aren't beautifully sculpted marble-hard works of perfection, perhaps we are not worthy. If our cocks do not measure longer and thicker than average then we can't possibly satisfy a lover. Those cocks also subject the smallest of our brothers to humiliation and ridicule, SPH. The man with a small cock may be shamed by others to take his proper place at the bottom of the pack. Or his own instincts will kick in and he will submit to the male who appears the most virile, the bull, the dom, the Alpha. As a small-cocked male, your a****l nature will have you on your knees before the Alpha in no time. You may even become the cuck or the sissy, stripped completely of your manhood.
Sexual play can be amazing. The dynamic between an assertive, confident dom and a talented, willing sub can be intense. If the sub and dom trust one another, as the sub surrenders and the dom assumes control they tap into sexual energy, balanced and passionate, they lose themselves in each other. The psychology scares me though. While I may enjoy the SPH submissive cocksucker role and get turned on by servicing hung guys, I am not actually ashamed of my cock. I love my hot, slightly smaller than average dick. I hope that when I see guys getting used in a video that it is consensual. I think it may be too easy in the heat of a moment to start truly believing you are unworthy, inferior. Some doms may take advantage of this, extorting or exploiting a sub to compensate for their own insecurities. These guys seem overly cruel, mindlessly inflicting pain.
Sexual play can be amazing. The dynamic between an assertive, confident dom and a talented, willing sub can be intense. If the sub and dom trust one another, as the sub surrenders and the dom assumes control they tap into sexual energy, balanced and passionate, they lose themselves in each other. The psychology scares me though. While I may enjoy the SPH submissive cocksucker role and get turned on by servicing hung guys, I am not actually ashamed of my cock. I love my hot, slightly smaller than average dick. I hope that when I see guys getting used in a video that it is consensual. I think it may be too easy in the heat of a moment to start truly believing you are unworthy, inferior. Some doms may take advantage of this, extorting or exploiting a sub to compensate for their own insecurities. These guys seem overly cruel, mindlessly inflicting pain.Control should never be completely surrendered. It can be temporarily given to another, in pursuit of mutual sexual pleasure, but we all should always be wary of the predators out there. Don't ever be ashamed of your body or your sexuality. You are as you were created, unique and worthy of love.
-Pup
1 year ago
