A Sadist, a Masochist, a Murderer, a Necrophile, a
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
Silence took over... then everyone turned to the masochist and asked:
"So, what's it gonna be?"
To which he replies, "Meow."
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A father is giving some advice to his son. He tells him that there are five important qualities you look for in a woman to enjoy a relationship.
firstly you must find a woman who can cook, clean, and look after the k**s.
secondly you must find a woman who is dirty in bed, loves sucking cock and taking it up the ass!!!
thirdly you must find a woman who has a lot in common with you, so you can have a good laugh and talk about life
fourthly you must find a woman who has plenty of money to look after you to the standard you are accustom to.
And finally, this is VERY VERY VERY important son.........Never under any circumstances must these 4 women ever meet!!!!!!
************************************************************************************************************
George W. Bush wanders into the Oval Office for his daily morning briefing.
"Morning' fellas, what's up?" he says as he takes a sip from his coffee cup.
A general replies, "Not much, Mr. President. Been an uneventful night in Iraq.
Oh, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."
With this, the President drops his coffee cup and falls to his knees,
sobbing and wailing uncontrollably.
Everyone is shocked.
When he calms down, an aide asks, "Mr. President, what's wrong?"
Bush looks up at him and asks,
"How many is a Brazilian again?".
"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
Silence took over... then everyone turned to the masochist and asked:
"So, what's it gonna be?"
To which he replies, "Meow."
************************************************************************************************************
A father is giving some advice to his son. He tells him that there are five important qualities you look for in a woman to enjoy a relationship.
firstly you must find a woman who can cook, clean, and look after the k**s.
secondly you must find a woman who is dirty in bed, loves sucking cock and taking it up the ass!!!
thirdly you must find a woman who has a lot in common with you, so you can have a good laugh and talk about life
fourthly you must find a woman who has plenty of money to look after you to the standard you are accustom to.
And finally, this is VERY VERY VERY important son.........Never under any circumstances must these 4 women ever meet!!!!!!
************************************************************************************************************
George W. Bush wanders into the Oval Office for his daily morning briefing.
"Morning' fellas, what's up?" he says as he takes a sip from his coffee cup.
A general replies, "Not much, Mr. President. Been an uneventful night in Iraq.
Oh, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."
With this, the President drops his coffee cup and falls to his knees,
sobbing and wailing uncontrollably.
Everyone is shocked.
When he calms down, an aide asks, "Mr. President, what's wrong?"
Bush looks up at him and asks,
"How many is a Brazilian again?".
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