Gender dysphoria etc.
Gender dysphoria, autogynephilia and transsexualism
Well, here is another installment of my ramblings as I continue to try to articulate my identity to myself. For some reason, after years and decades of internalizing my thoughts, as I tried to read about as many real life experiences of people who have some of my characteristics and propensities, I have hit some critical mass of ideas and digestion of thoughts to attempt to put them into text.
Based on this referenced paper by Ray Blanchard (1989) ... I am gender disphoric--desiring to possess the body of the opposite sex and be regarded as such. It frustrates me that I do not think I could pass very well. I used to think I was a heterosexual and in recent years have drifted more homosexual. I have erotic interest in other individuals so that makes me a gender dysphoric homosexual. Since this has gone on for well in excess of 2 years, transsexual can be added to the description...
So that makes me a gender dysphoric homosexual transsexual.
My desire for hormone effects demonstrate my need for erotic self sufficiency (I do enjoy my soft skin and small breasts, and even wish them to be larger).
To some extent, those hormones seem to have caused part of but not all of my drift toward my homosexual traits. Some were pre-existing
===>> One other parameter of interest is my submissiveness... I have always desired to be submissive and never felt I had the authority to be a dominant person (at least sexually). I like to be told what to do to pleasure a partner. I feel I do not deserve to be pleasured while I am passive, such as being sucked.
This sort of leaves me as a femmed faggot who desires an alpha male to arouse and to serve. I do desire to induce lust in my alpha... and then be open to encourage the alpha to guide me and take what pleasure he desires.
One thing that still interests me is the plasticity of the male brain, if one hovers in the spectrum between homosexual and heterosexual. How much can one be nudged and is it a valid trait even if it is learned to some extent.
http://www.genderpsychology.org/autogynephilia/male_gender_dysphoria/blanchard_typology.html
Well, here is another installment of my ramblings as I continue to try to articulate my identity to myself. For some reason, after years and decades of internalizing my thoughts, as I tried to read about as many real life experiences of people who have some of my characteristics and propensities, I have hit some critical mass of ideas and digestion of thoughts to attempt to put them into text.
Based on this referenced paper by Ray Blanchard (1989) ... I am gender disphoric--desiring to possess the body of the opposite sex and be regarded as such. It frustrates me that I do not think I could pass very well. I used to think I was a heterosexual and in recent years have drifted more homosexual. I have erotic interest in other individuals so that makes me a gender dysphoric homosexual. Since this has gone on for well in excess of 2 years, transsexual can be added to the description...
So that makes me a gender dysphoric homosexual transsexual.
My desire for hormone effects demonstrate my need for erotic self sufficiency (I do enjoy my soft skin and small breasts, and even wish them to be larger).
To some extent, those hormones seem to have caused part of but not all of my drift toward my homosexual traits. Some were pre-existing
===>> One other parameter of interest is my submissiveness... I have always desired to be submissive and never felt I had the authority to be a dominant person (at least sexually). I like to be told what to do to pleasure a partner. I feel I do not deserve to be pleasured while I am passive, such as being sucked.
This sort of leaves me as a femmed faggot who desires an alpha male to arouse and to serve. I do desire to induce lust in my alpha... and then be open to encourage the alpha to guide me and take what pleasure he desires.
One thing that still interests me is the plasticity of the male brain, if one hovers in the spectrum between homosexual and heterosexual. How much can one be nudged and is it a valid trait even if it is learned to some extent.
http://www.genderpsychology.org/autogynephilia/male_gender_dysphoria/blanchard_typology.html
לפני 3 שנים