...am i a sissy? (and what does that mean?)
Background: a tumblr user asked me if i'd like to become a trans woman, or whether i 'just like being a sissy'... it was something i wanted to talk about for a while, and this is what i said:
I wanted to give this a proper answer, because i needed to express some things that i hadn’t given time to yet.. so: i’m super sorry this is so fucking long! :-x
In short: no, i don’t want to become a trans woman. I’m not sure exactly how to describe myself otherwise tho, as i’ve become a lot more aware and a lot more flexible than when i began down this path!
Like many, i started out just as a cis straight guy, and got perverted by men telling me how great my ass or feet looked on cam.. A few outside influences came too, and it all led to me becoming a crossdresser, still straight..
Over time tho, i pretty obviously became bisexual (not biromantic, if that’s a thing), although my main attraction was and is to dominant sexual characters, especially as it manifests in masculinity. So that means i’m attracted to great looking cocks, to aspects of stereotypical manliness, and to feeling humiliated in the right way..
That cocktail is pretty much a recipe for seeing yourself as a sissy, in a sexual context. That last bit though: *in a sexual context*.
Cos the truth is, if you genuinely believe much of the stuff that sissy fantasists write on forums, tumblr, reddit, kik, captions, etc. then you need to re-examine how you think about the world. Or you need to see a ther****t.
The sissy kink is part of BDSM - it’s a fetish, and not life. Because of that, obvs i couldn’t identify as a sissy, but also, a trans woman could enjoy that fetish too, in a way that would play on male biology and expectations on what it is to be a man.
(I saw Natalie Mars has indulged those themes in some of her shoots, and i think that’s really cool)
The reason i wanna point out that it’s a kink only, is that some of the extremes of the fetish would be way out of order if taken at face value. The main issue i see is how the kink treats the idea of being a woman - it’s portrayed as being weak, submissive, lesser in value, designed only for sex and objectification. Obviously i don’t believe that - far far from it.. and the best way imo to understand this element is to see it as a way to absorb the negative misogynistic shit there is in the world, and as an apparently straight cis male, to own and subvert it in a sexually gratifying way.
A similar issue exists in the way that race plays a part in some expressions of the fetish. The issue is even clearer in cuckolding, but that’d be a whole other post! I think ultimately you gotta look at this as a delicate issue.. Black guys are routinely objectified in the fetish as sexual b**sts, gangbangers with massively massive cocks. Obviously it’s a stereotype and out of context it would be really harmful. It’s even worse in the US context, where Black guys are sometimes desired because seen as in some way beneath White people on a social level - as though then being with them is humiliating in and of itself. How fucked o_o
Where and when is it okay though? The way i see it is this: in a sexual relationship between consenting adults, if they want to bring these gender and race elements into play, with each other, of course that’s fine! Fuck, dress up like Hitler and be fucked by *redacted* if you want, as long as it’s consensual.
The flipside of that is that consent is kinda lost in the porn heavy internet. If you browse NSFW tumblr long enough (edit- and definitely xham!), you’re probably gonna come across captions spouting some questionable ideas. So i think we should be careful what we put out there, and not to normalise misogyny and racism. E.g. i prefer captions that read “wearing panties feels natural, a man’s dick feels great inside you, doesn’t it?” than “you’re a woman now, bend over” or “your friends wouldn’t believe that you suck black dick”.
See the difference?
All that said, if you are sexually attracted to another race because of at least some generic differences, as well as (depending where you live) certain cultural differences and attitudes to sex, that surely has to be fine as well. I’m just really not fond when that’s expressed e.g. on sex apps as “blacks only” or “whites only”. That shit is fucked up and narrow minded. Leave it out!
Wow, so this turned out to be pretty damn long… I imagine it wasn’t the answer you wanted, but it’s what i’ve been wanting to address for a while! One reason is that a very cool CD that i like recently abandoned everything to do with the sissy fetish, and even sort of pushed me away by association with it. But i think there’s a middle path to take between the extreme fantasist and being socially conscious by avoiding it altogether.
So yeah, i’m a sissy. But i’m more than that, and i hope it’s understood what being a sissy actually is, or at least what i mean by it.. i also like playing around with the ideas of femboi and trap. Erotically, they have their own nuances and appeals to me as well..
Sooo that’s what i’m trying to show here! Lemme know if it makes sense… a massive thank you to anyone who actually made it this far tho!! xoxo
p.s. fun fact: when i was typing out “face value”, my phone autocorrected it to “face bukkake”. Yes, i wrote this all out on phone o_0, and yes, “bukkake” is a word in my dictionary :P
I wanted to give this a proper answer, because i needed to express some things that i hadn’t given time to yet.. so: i’m super sorry this is so fucking long! :-x
In short: no, i don’t want to become a trans woman. I’m not sure exactly how to describe myself otherwise tho, as i’ve become a lot more aware and a lot more flexible than when i began down this path!
Like many, i started out just as a cis straight guy, and got perverted by men telling me how great my ass or feet looked on cam.. A few outside influences came too, and it all led to me becoming a crossdresser, still straight..
Over time tho, i pretty obviously became bisexual (not biromantic, if that’s a thing), although my main attraction was and is to dominant sexual characters, especially as it manifests in masculinity. So that means i’m attracted to great looking cocks, to aspects of stereotypical manliness, and to feeling humiliated in the right way..
That cocktail is pretty much a recipe for seeing yourself as a sissy, in a sexual context. That last bit though: *in a sexual context*.
Cos the truth is, if you genuinely believe much of the stuff that sissy fantasists write on forums, tumblr, reddit, kik, captions, etc. then you need to re-examine how you think about the world. Or you need to see a ther****t.
The sissy kink is part of BDSM - it’s a fetish, and not life. Because of that, obvs i couldn’t identify as a sissy, but also, a trans woman could enjoy that fetish too, in a way that would play on male biology and expectations on what it is to be a man.
(I saw Natalie Mars has indulged those themes in some of her shoots, and i think that’s really cool)
The reason i wanna point out that it’s a kink only, is that some of the extremes of the fetish would be way out of order if taken at face value. The main issue i see is how the kink treats the idea of being a woman - it’s portrayed as being weak, submissive, lesser in value, designed only for sex and objectification. Obviously i don’t believe that - far far from it.. and the best way imo to understand this element is to see it as a way to absorb the negative misogynistic shit there is in the world, and as an apparently straight cis male, to own and subvert it in a sexually gratifying way.
A similar issue exists in the way that race plays a part in some expressions of the fetish. The issue is even clearer in cuckolding, but that’d be a whole other post! I think ultimately you gotta look at this as a delicate issue.. Black guys are routinely objectified in the fetish as sexual b**sts, gangbangers with massively massive cocks. Obviously it’s a stereotype and out of context it would be really harmful. It’s even worse in the US context, where Black guys are sometimes desired because seen as in some way beneath White people on a social level - as though then being with them is humiliating in and of itself. How fucked o_o
Where and when is it okay though? The way i see it is this: in a sexual relationship between consenting adults, if they want to bring these gender and race elements into play, with each other, of course that’s fine! Fuck, dress up like Hitler and be fucked by *redacted* if you want, as long as it’s consensual.
The flipside of that is that consent is kinda lost in the porn heavy internet. If you browse NSFW tumblr long enough (edit- and definitely xham!), you’re probably gonna come across captions spouting some questionable ideas. So i think we should be careful what we put out there, and not to normalise misogyny and racism. E.g. i prefer captions that read “wearing panties feels natural, a man’s dick feels great inside you, doesn’t it?” than “you’re a woman now, bend over” or “your friends wouldn’t believe that you suck black dick”.
See the difference?
All that said, if you are sexually attracted to another race because of at least some generic differences, as well as (depending where you live) certain cultural differences and attitudes to sex, that surely has to be fine as well. I’m just really not fond when that’s expressed e.g. on sex apps as “blacks only” or “whites only”. That shit is fucked up and narrow minded. Leave it out!
Wow, so this turned out to be pretty damn long… I imagine it wasn’t the answer you wanted, but it’s what i’ve been wanting to address for a while! One reason is that a very cool CD that i like recently abandoned everything to do with the sissy fetish, and even sort of pushed me away by association with it. But i think there’s a middle path to take between the extreme fantasist and being socially conscious by avoiding it altogether.
So yeah, i’m a sissy. But i’m more than that, and i hope it’s understood what being a sissy actually is, or at least what i mean by it.. i also like playing around with the ideas of femboi and trap. Erotically, they have their own nuances and appeals to me as well..
Sooo that’s what i’m trying to show here! Lemme know if it makes sense… a massive thank you to anyone who actually made it this far tho!! xoxo
p.s. fun fact: when i was typing out “face value”, my phone autocorrected it to “face bukkake”. Yes, i wrote this all out on phone o_0, and yes, “bukkake” is a word in my dictionary :P
Πριν από 6 έτη
For the rest, and here I refer strictly to what is about being a sissy, we know that sex is not something detached from life, so things can get a little complicated when you think that being a sissy can be a dress / attitude that you put on or take off depending on the occasion. For example, for many people dressing in women's clothes does not stop only at the sexual act, but also continues in other moments of life, just as there are men who love to dress as a woman but not for sexual reasons and are absolutely straight sexually. . .