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I'm not at xHamster much these days. If you want to find me try at Pornh-- (it won't let me specify), username dmc001 (TWO zeroes!). I'm not uploading but you can always browse my favorites list.

Howdy, Pervs! :)

Porn Stuff I Like:

Lesbians: Sexy, enthusiastic, free of toys and dicks, and with well-shot 69's.

Natural women: No implants or tattoos preferred. I love pubic hair and sometimes don't even mind armpit hair.

100% nudity: Just bare from head to toe.

Sexy girl hands & feet: These can be really sexy. I don't like hardcore foot porn, and most of it turns me off. I like the aesthetics, and don't get gross with it.

Straight sex: Hot, passionate, and respectful. I like to see real chemistry between people who have fun in their scenes.

Vintage: Natural women, no tattoos and interesting, fun movies.

(Some) Favorite Performers:

PORN (Naturals): Bambi Woods, Alicia Monet, Draghixa, Nikki Dial, Roxanne Blaze, Heather Sinclair, Angela Baron, Jennifer Stewart, Rebecca Lord, Kethrine Brut, Laura Palmer, Sophie Moone, Stella Stevens/Dorina, Eufrat, Ashley Fires, Avy Scott, Blue Angel, Lily Labeau, Kety Pearl, Nesty, Melisa Mendini, Anjelica/Krystal Boyd, Lena Nicole, Kennedy Leigh, Lexi Dona, Aika May/Aiko Bell, Jillian Janson, Nicole Ray, Uma Jolie, Alecia Fox, Riley Anne, AJ Applegate, Sybil (Kailena), Callie Calypso, Josephine Jackson, Zazie Skymm, Vanna Bardot, Anastasia/Emerald Ocean, Veronica Leal, Rebel Lynn, Lyra Law, Melody Marks, Jazmin Luv, Lola Foxx...

PORN (Implants): Celeste, Jessica Wylde, PJ Sparxx*, Alicia Rio*, Shayla LaVeaux*, Juli Ashton, Angela Summers*, Tiffany Million, Madison Stone*, Kelly O'Dell*, Deidre Holland*, Asia Carrera*, Debi Diamond*, Tara Monroe, Cytherea*, Vera/Dana Kelly*, Sandy*, Kayla Paige, Madison Ivy*, Cali Sparks/Zoey Taylor*, Nathaly Cherie*, Kimmy Granger*, Kiara Lord*, Ivy Wolfe*, Kenzie Taylor...

* Received implants later in career... :(

SOFT PORN: Melissa Leigh, Dee Carter/Suzy, Jacqueline Lovell/Sara St. James, Erica Campbell, Jenny McCarthy, Kelly Monaco, Daniela Rosch/Corinna...

NON-PORN**: Grace Kelly, Lynda Carter, Heather Thomas, Sheena Easton, Madonna, Mädchen Amick, Stacy Haiduk, Courtney Cox, Jennifer Connelly, Elizabeth Hurley, Carla Gugino, Naomi Watts, Natasha Henstridge, Nelly Furtado, Mia Kirshner, Evan Rachel Wood, Michelle Ryan, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Amber Heard, Kristen Bell, Ludivine Sagnier, Alison Brie, Cobie Smulders, Tessa Virtue, Kaitlin Olson, Alexandra Daddario, MacKenzie Porter, Allison Williams, Blake Lively...

** Generally in their primes, and before any major work was done...

Porn Tropes/Cliches I Dislike:

The Voyeur - Showing a dude spying on lesbian action while he jerks off and makes stupid faces.

Dickus Interruptus - Ruining a great lesbian scene when a dude suddenly appears out of nowhere and jumps in.

No Close-Ups For You! - Showing a lesbian 69 from the side ONLY.

The Ed Powers Effect - Ugly filmmakers appearing, saying dumb shit, and pawing at the girl with their hairy sausage fingers.

The Fake Pick-Up - Where a guy immediately "convinces" a smoking hot girl he supposedly just met to go back to his place, where they fuck on camera.

Drool Fools - Spit and any close-ups of it, especially from guys.

Mollygagging - Gagging scenes. The UKUKUKUKUK noises, the caveman roughness, the watery eyes, the dry heaving, the phlegm dangling like an old man's balls... all about as hot as watching a bukkake video starring your grandmother.

Evil Grimace - Cutting away from the lady to zoom in on the dude's grimacing, sweaty face. Instant boner killer!

If It Ain't Broke, Fuck It Up - Gorgeous all-natural models ruining their bodies with implants, tattoos, botox, fucking stupid puffed up lips, etc.

The 40 Year Old Teenager - Referring to (obviously) older women as "teens".

Bored To Fuck - When performers don't act interested, or try to hide their displeasure.

Sniping - Guys aiming their cumshot into the girl's eyeball... or even hotter, up her nostril.

Deja Screw - When parts of scenes get repeated to lengthen a scene (an actual practice in the 80's and 90's).

Old Yeller - Over-acted non-stop moaning and howling.

These Shoes Were Made For Fucking - Footwear, especially high heels, in bed.

Shrek Syndrome - Most of the "older" women in Young/Old lesbian porn being uglier than my avatar.

Insta-Dildo - Sex toys in stupid places (e.g., a scene in a hospital room where dildos or vibrators just happen to be stashed under folded sheets).

Macho Is Larry Fine - The annoying overuse of the acronym "MILF" (and its variants). MILF, GILF, etc...

Crapparazzi - Cameras clicking, whirring and flashing during a sex scene.

Vidiots - Useless cameramen. They zoom in and out, shake the camera, lose focus, and let shadows (or even their own arms) get in the frame.