So You Want To Date A Stripper?
I did a post on this on my blog, Meninity, where I essentially give a laundry list of reasons for why men should not aim to date a stripper. My experiences from dating a few, as well as listening to others, seem to end in one common denominator: disappointment. However, because strippers are typically hot, I can understand if that doesn't deter you.
Rather than continue to chronicle why dating a stripper isn't the best idea, I will give you some advice for making a date with a stripper a reality:
• Treat her like a normal person: It sounds so simple, yet customers rarely ever do this. If you were interested in a girl you met at the library, you wouldn't cop a feel of her ass or continually bring up how hot she is the first time you meet her. Keep in mind, her life story is one of being mistreated by men. Aim to be different!
• Don't become her regular: You want to spend money on her outside of the club, not in it. 9 out of 10 times, a stripper will request your number just so she can constantly ask you to see her at the club. That would make you a regular, not a potential boyfriend.
• Show up on a weeknight: Weeknights are generally quieter and don't generate as much income. Showing up early in the evening (like 7PM) presents a great environment to sit down and talk to the girls before customers begin to file in. Every relationship begins with conversation. This presents the only period of time where substantial conversation is possible.
• Dress nicely: No shit! Don't show up in a suit, but do show up in a stylish casual outfit. If you want examples, check out casual dress for men on The Art of Manliness blog. Most of their stuff can be found at your nearby Target store.
• Tipping her is okay in the following situations: Make sure you tip her while she is on stage. $5-$10 should suffice. Buy her drinks while the two of you talk. Even better, tip her just to show that you appreciate her time. She is technically bypassing opportunities to make money just so she can talk to you. Do not request a lap dance. If she wants to give you a lap dance, just accept one (definitely no more than two). DO NOT do a VIP, because...
• ...VIPs make you a regular: The minute she knows you have over $100 to spare on a random weeknight is the minute she will want you to do that all the time. Why would she waste her time getting to know you and going out to dinner when she can lure you into the club and make a guaranteed $100?
• Discuss anything other than work: She already hates working as a stripper and letting creepy men grab her ass. It's a demeaning profession, and they don't need to be reminded of it.
• She already knows that she is beautiful: Don't waste your time constantly complimenting her on how gorgeous she is. She knows this. That's the primary reason why she chose to strip as opposed to building her resume and career as a receptionist.
• Give her the benefit of the doubt, but don't trust everything you hear: Look, don't make any assumptions on a girl simply because she strips. At the same time, understand that selling you on a fantasy is a part of her job. She will tell you things that sound great but are not true. Be able to weed through the moments when she is talking "in character," and the moments when she is talking from the heart.
• Leave once the place gets busy: Better yet, just don't hang around too long. It makes it look as though you have nothing better to do with your night. When the place gets busy, make your exit so that she can make her money. Even if it isn't busy, make sure you leave your conversation on a high note. Don't stay so long that she has practically learned everything about you.
• Let her give you her number: Don't ask for it. If she has some interest in you, she will readily give it to you. Guys ask for her number all of the time. Allow her to make the choice. Don't ask for her real name either. She'll give it to you when she is ready.
• If she isn't willing to meet you outside the club... you are probably being played. Strippers typically prefer texting over calling. If her text messages primarily involve asking you to see her at the club, that's a red flag. If you actually try to make plans, and she either declines it or continually backs out, it's time for you to back out as well.
• If she is willing to meet you outside the club... do something sweet, romantic, and/or fun. She is probably used to guys flashing their riches. Here's a novel idea: focus on getting to know her and make sure she has a nice time, derp! Don't think she will automatically get in bed with you. Remember the part about her being mistreated? She will need some time to be comfortable with you.
• Once you are dating her, don’t show up to her job: This has disaster written all over it. You won’t enjoy watching other men fondle her. Any time she does a VIP with a guy, your heart rate will shoot through the roof. Other girls will try to test you, and you will more than likely fail. They will also be jealous, and do things to make life a bit miserable for the both of you.
• Accommodate to her needs: She has a weird work schedule. By the time she gets home, you’re already in bad. By the time you wake up for work, she is passed out on her bed. Don’t call or text her in the morning, and understand that most of your dates will be on a Sunday or whatever weeknight she doesn’t work. She also has no plans on quitting because she makes good money. Get used to it.
Rather than continue to chronicle why dating a stripper isn't the best idea, I will give you some advice for making a date with a stripper a reality:
• Treat her like a normal person: It sounds so simple, yet customers rarely ever do this. If you were interested in a girl you met at the library, you wouldn't cop a feel of her ass or continually bring up how hot she is the first time you meet her. Keep in mind, her life story is one of being mistreated by men. Aim to be different!
• Don't become her regular: You want to spend money on her outside of the club, not in it. 9 out of 10 times, a stripper will request your number just so she can constantly ask you to see her at the club. That would make you a regular, not a potential boyfriend.
• Show up on a weeknight: Weeknights are generally quieter and don't generate as much income. Showing up early in the evening (like 7PM) presents a great environment to sit down and talk to the girls before customers begin to file in. Every relationship begins with conversation. This presents the only period of time where substantial conversation is possible.
• Dress nicely: No shit! Don't show up in a suit, but do show up in a stylish casual outfit. If you want examples, check out casual dress for men on The Art of Manliness blog. Most of their stuff can be found at your nearby Target store.
• Tipping her is okay in the following situations: Make sure you tip her while she is on stage. $5-$10 should suffice. Buy her drinks while the two of you talk. Even better, tip her just to show that you appreciate her time. She is technically bypassing opportunities to make money just so she can talk to you. Do not request a lap dance. If she wants to give you a lap dance, just accept one (definitely no more than two). DO NOT do a VIP, because...
• ...VIPs make you a regular: The minute she knows you have over $100 to spare on a random weeknight is the minute she will want you to do that all the time. Why would she waste her time getting to know you and going out to dinner when she can lure you into the club and make a guaranteed $100?
• Discuss anything other than work: She already hates working as a stripper and letting creepy men grab her ass. It's a demeaning profession, and they don't need to be reminded of it.
• She already knows that she is beautiful: Don't waste your time constantly complimenting her on how gorgeous she is. She knows this. That's the primary reason why she chose to strip as opposed to building her resume and career as a receptionist.
• Give her the benefit of the doubt, but don't trust everything you hear: Look, don't make any assumptions on a girl simply because she strips. At the same time, understand that selling you on a fantasy is a part of her job. She will tell you things that sound great but are not true. Be able to weed through the moments when she is talking "in character," and the moments when she is talking from the heart.
• Leave once the place gets busy: Better yet, just don't hang around too long. It makes it look as though you have nothing better to do with your night. When the place gets busy, make your exit so that she can make her money. Even if it isn't busy, make sure you leave your conversation on a high note. Don't stay so long that she has practically learned everything about you.
• Let her give you her number: Don't ask for it. If she has some interest in you, she will readily give it to you. Guys ask for her number all of the time. Allow her to make the choice. Don't ask for her real name either. She'll give it to you when she is ready.
• If she isn't willing to meet you outside the club... you are probably being played. Strippers typically prefer texting over calling. If her text messages primarily involve asking you to see her at the club, that's a red flag. If you actually try to make plans, and she either declines it or continually backs out, it's time for you to back out as well.
• If she is willing to meet you outside the club... do something sweet, romantic, and/or fun. She is probably used to guys flashing their riches. Here's a novel idea: focus on getting to know her and make sure she has a nice time, derp! Don't think she will automatically get in bed with you. Remember the part about her being mistreated? She will need some time to be comfortable with you.
• Once you are dating her, don’t show up to her job: This has disaster written all over it. You won’t enjoy watching other men fondle her. Any time she does a VIP with a guy, your heart rate will shoot through the roof. Other girls will try to test you, and you will more than likely fail. They will also be jealous, and do things to make life a bit miserable for the both of you.
• Accommodate to her needs: She has a weird work schedule. By the time she gets home, you’re already in bad. By the time you wake up for work, she is passed out on her bed. Don’t call or text her in the morning, and understand that most of your dates will be on a Sunday or whatever weeknight she doesn’t work. She also has no plans on quitting because she makes good money. Get used to it.
10 años atrás
