About

When I was a little boy, I thought the definition of sex was to kiss while you were naked.

So one night, I got out of the bath and kissed my cat on the nose...

...then I remembered I was naked, and I ran downstairs, crying “I had sex with the cat!”

You should have seen my mom’s face.

So… you probably wanna know more about me now, and whether or not you should message me about grabbing drinks and possibly having the most fun ever together.

To help you decide, here are some testimonials:

“Sex was great, but he’s kind of an ***hole.” - My Ex

“Always shared his cookies with me.” - Kelly from Kindergarten

“If you break his heart, I will cut you.” - Sister

“Yeah, you’re kind of attractive I guess” - a complete stranger

Oh yeah, and before you send me the best message ever, you should know one thing:

If all you wanna do is “netflix and chill” (i.e. booty-call me when you get drunk)… you should make like a rubber ball and BOUNCE!

(there’s a lot of crazies on here, yikes)

But you know what?

There’s also some really interesting, passionate and attractive women…

So let’s see what happen.

Just don’t treat me like your latest “fuckboi” or your personal ATM machine… that’s the biggest turn off in the world.

Intrigue me.

Send me a message that will make a tiny little smile crawl across my face when I read it.

Challenge me. Seduce me. If you can ;)

Anyways, if you’re cute, FUN and have a slightly dorky side… then let’s be BFFN’s (best friends for now).

Miss you already,

- Rod

P.S. Girls who message first are sexy AF

P.P.S. Seriously tho, just say hi and let me take it from there - I’m not on this site much, so if you’re interested, message me and I’ll get an email notification.

You should message me if:

‣ You can dance.
‣ You can afford to support my expensive Pokemon habit.
‣ You need someone to kill bugs or open jars.
‣ You want to come over and make spaghetti sandwiches.
‣ You like to laugh, you don’t take yourself too seriously, and you think you can actually keep up with me.

Now if interested, then you should please provide:

‣ A selfie
‣ Your best pickup line