Finding a Sense of Self

For me, transitioning was isolating and scary, even with the help of family and friends. Until you are able to “pass” in public, it's very stressful, as you draw unwanted attention and judgement in public. Once you get to the “passing stage”, there is a feeling of acceptance and relief. My first steps were of course wearing makeup and feminine clothes, before hair removal and hormone replacement therapy. However, because how gendered the world was and still is, it's not as easy as just walking into Boots and Next. There is a huge stigma in this, as its still viewed as just for one gender and… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 2 años atrás 28

John

I had split up with Paul some months prior. I meet John, a 6-foot, good looking Canadian, post grad in Manchester, who I had a short relationship with. … … … … I was sitting in the middle of John’s living room. I had gone to the bathroom to freshen up; when I returned, soft Jazz music was coming from the stereo and he’d lit some tall red tapered candles on the coffee table. A typical romantic mood setting cliche. John was trying so hard to get in my pants. We had spent the last few hours at a nightclub. He had convinced me to come back to his place around 2:00 in the morning. Though it did… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 4 años atrás 44

Paul and some Duct Tape

Still at Uni, I had been going out with Paul for over 6 months, when I called round to his bed sit. … … … … I rang the doorbell and Paul greeted me. “Hi” I said, giving him a hug. “Well come on in, strip and get comfortable, and let’s get this party started!” He said chuckling and walking into the kitchen to get some beers. He was always very forward. I took off my t-shirt, jeans and ankle boots and stood there in just my black lacy underwear. “Wellll hello there,” Paul chuckled walking behind me and slapped my ass hard, I simply looked back, with a slight wince. “Like what you see… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 4 años atrás 19

Hannah

At High School and College, I had the odd relationship with either sex, but it wasn’t until University, that I started to to have more lasting and meaningful ones. I wasn't promiscuous by any means. I would class my orientation as Bisexual to a degree. I had started my hormone treatments and my body was undergoing its change. It was just over a year into my treatment, when I met Hannah. … … … … I first met Hannah at a party with some friends. She was Romanian, studying Dentistry. She had the most amazing eyes and delicate hands and I found her accent so alluring. We met on and off at these… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 4 años atrás 16

Paul

Paul and I were fellow Students at Uni. I was attracted to him from the first time I saw him at our first lecture. We started going out for a few social drinks, but as time went by, we ended up at his bed sit, one Saturday afternoon. By this time, I had started to come out of my shell, thanks to my counselling. I had begun to look and dress more feminine. I felt at home in this vibrant Student City and didn’t stand out. My tall, slim figure helped, but before my hormone treatments kicked in, I was flat as board, though my butt was always cute, if I have to blow my own trumpet … ... .… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 4 años atrás 27

Pink

They colored me blue, Once they saw me at Birth. But on the inside i was pink, And the blue filled me with dread. "He", "him, they say, But those labels just didn't feel right. The words echoed in my mind as they replayed, And as i whispered "girl" and held myself tight. The blue shone brightly to others, But all i could see was pink. "You're to masculine to be a girl" And i couldn't help but think it was true.… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 4 años atrás 7

My Early Life

At a very young age, I found myself playing with the other girls and not mixing with the boys. I preferred their activities to the rough and tumble of the boy’s games. At primary school I was starting to get bullied (verbally) by the boys who decided to call me a ‘sissy’ because I wouldn’t join in their games. I remember feeling quite proud that they recognised me as being feminine and girlie. When I was asleep and dreaming, I was always a girl in my dreams. Every night I would pray so hard that I would wake up the following morning without my penis (at that age, the difference to me between g… Leer más

Publicado por Emma1915 4 años atrás 72