Paris Hilton

Why is it that we are such a celebrity-obsessed culture, and why do we love seeing our precious celebrities in the raunchiest, most compromising of acts? Maybe it’s because we need to know that, at some basic level, even the richest and hottest celebrity is just as horny as the rest of us. There’s no celebrity who’s been dragged through the smut media as much as Paris Hilton, and we’re glad to keep up with this tradition. Paris got rich by being the daughter of a guy who owns like a billion hotels. We bet growing up surrounded by room service, bed stains, and the constant in-and-out of strangers is what triggered Paris’s scandalous appetites. Nobody was shocked, then, when in 2003, Paris turned the cameras on herself and her celebutante boyfriend Rick Salomon. Well, that precious piece of footage was so damn hot, it could have melted the internet. Who wouldn’t want to watch such a spoiled daddy’s girl choke on some dick and get railed until her eyes roll back? Her sweet and shaved pussy looks so delectable, you’d eat it if it were served up on a plate of liver and lima beans. You just want to pick up that skinny body and insert it right on your boner and make it spin. Her tits are such little mounds of bliss, and her ass is so tight, you couldn’t pull a needle out of it with a forklift. Every horny wanker should spend at least one night in Paris.