Post #7: Q: Hi. My husband and I are exploring the femdom lifestyle. We are both loving it, but there are a few challenges. Could I humbly please ask you for some suggestions and tips? For example, my husband sometimes feels there is too little domination and that I am not dominant enough. And sometimes I am even too dominant. It is difficult to find the middle way .
First of all, you do not need to humbly ask me anything. You can ask me anything, anytime, without being humble. Your hubby needs to ask humbly, though. Secondly, if there is an FLR we are talking about here, your husband is in no position to have any opinion of how dominant you should be or not.
As I have said before, I am not an expert, but can only share my own experiences. So all I can talk about is my own experiences with hubby. If you want expert advice, ask someone who claims to be an expert (doesn't exist). I can say that I and hubby have experimented for years to make this work. It is like any other relationship. We are all experimenting, vanilla or not.
But I do have an idea of what you are talking about. We have a case of topping from bottom here, sister. He should have no saying of how much you dominate him or not. If he shows any opinion of that, just stop your Mistress role and go back to vanilla. I am not saying this is a right way to do it, I only say that worked for us (it will work, trust me 😉 ). If there is a middle way, that is solely up to you.
He should have no saying what is enough or not enough domination. You decide that. Just stop. Lock him in his cage, if he has one, and monitor what he does. Just release him if he continues his bad behaviour, and tell him it is not acceptable. Then just quit domination and ask what he wants. Just don't be a Mistress who is being dominated. Why not just then stop and live vanilla? That is fine too. 🙂
I think I will divide this into three categories:
1) We are playing bdsm and having fun, but of course it does not go outside the bedroom . How nice. 🙂 Enjoy!
2) We are playing femdom and having fun inside the bedroom and a little outside the bedroom. But outside there are some differences. That is fine. Just agree and not top from bottom.
3) We are not playing femdom, we are living it, consensual from both parts. There is no topping from bottom, because that will backfire.
Most people probably do 1) or 2). That is great. Enjoy folks. 🙂
A few does 3).
I am!