About

I am an organic lifeform, but created genetically to withstand most mind altering substances such as ground nutmeg, the dried stringy bit from banana skins, powdered bleach, LSD, lines of turbo(kenny and mozam, chopped up, pure THC eyedrops and McDonalds meals. This leads me to reveal a quark about the perissodactyla my thoughts currently reside in.

well, i guess i am a quite a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and God-like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I cook jamie olivers thirty-minute meals in twenty minutes. I am an expert in Stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in france. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single handedly defended a small village in Wiltshire from a horde of ferocious army ants.
I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Braves. I am the subject of numerous documentaries.

When i am bored, i build large suspension bridges out of matches and kebab skewers in my back garden. I enjoy city centre hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookmaker. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire.

I have been the one millionth number shopper twice and have thus won free supermarket sweeps. Last summer i toured the home counties with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration,it didnt take very long. I bat 400 in cricket if the light conditions are favorable. My floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, MobyDick, War And Peace and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire sierra cosworth. I know the exact location of every food item in all supermarkets. I have performed several covert operations for MI5 and MI6. I sleep once a week, when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Brixton, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small charity shop. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, i weave, i dodge, i frolic and my bills are paid. On weekends i like to let off steam, by participating in full contact origami.

Years ago i discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only mould and a george foreman grill. I breed prizewinning clams.I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka and spelling competitions at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet. I have performed open heart surgery, and i have spoken with Elvis... but I have never endured the severence of a limb.

I have also worked in the entertainments industry for almost 20 years now. I am good friends with many great entertainers such as sponge bob and square pants.

I am convinced that i have been instrumental in helping many rock acts to achieve megastardom and yet received no credit for my efforts, such as being the cause for the gap in "Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)" by Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel, inadvertently launching the vocal career of Phil Collins at a failed audition for the lead singer of Genesis after the departure of Peter Gabriel and giving Howard Jones the idea for using a mime artist in the hit "New Song" while working opposite him at a Clingfilm factory in High Wycombe.

I eat while standing if I happen to be somewhere eating and unable to sit. My pet hate is gold fish but other pets are ok. I have in the last 20 years been approached at least once by a boy wanting to ask for directions.

The sum of my existence is all that can be divided from life without adding or subtracting the place to which I fry things.

Milk a cow… drink the milk… you will then understand why you are not the tallest person ever to walkman.
I don’t feel that the man is watching me when I walk but am sure that many are when I dance.

Thank you for taking to time to learn about me and my life, I’m sure you now know the route of all evil is held within the bowls of those who find the evil within themselves, my advise to you is never to trust such people with your rubix cube… they will pull the stickers off

I learned last night that my recently-purchased memory foam pillow is suffering from Alzheimer's. I returned from a late night trip to the bathroom and found an indentation in my pillow in the shape of a mantle clock.

im here to meet someone, but break out of the tired old traditional male/female roles. I'll be the baby seagull and you feed me regurgitated raw fish like a nurturing mother bird. I'll provide the raw herring and vomit inducer, you bring the strap-on beak. No weirdos, please.

alternatevly i Want a double jointed supermodel who owns her own microbrewery and grows her own weed. If you have a twin you will get extra points.

P.S. I've just finished re-editing this profile. Does anyone know the best way to remove Tipex from a computer screen?

Disclaimer: WARNING: Sydney University and all other institutions, including local, state, federal, and international law enforcement agencies using this or any Adult Friend Finder site or its associated sites for projects and investigations. - You have permission from me to use any of my genitalia, provided you are female, aged 16 to 40, and half way attractive after 6 pints. If you do, it will be considered a viagralation of my privates and will be subject to hardcore action. (I suggest the rest of you post this notice).

Albert Einstein
I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.”

Catherine the Great
I am one of the people who love the why of things.

George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man?living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Buddha's teachings:

Life as we know it ultimately is or leads to suffering/uneasiness (dukkha) in one way or another.
Suffering is caused by craving. This is often expressed as a deluded clinging to a certain sense of existence, to selfhood, or to the things or phenomena that we consider the cause of happiness or unhappiness. Craving also has its negative aspect, i.e. one craves that a certain state of affairs not exist.
Suffering ends when craving ends. This is achieved by eliminating delusion, thereby reaching a liberated state of Enlightenment (bodhi);
Reaching this liberated state is achieved by following the path laid out by the Buddha.

I am an old man now, and when I die and go to Heaven there are two matters on which I hope for enlightement. One is quantum electrodynamics and the other is the turbulent motion of fluids. And about the former I am rather more optimistic.
- Sir Horace Lamb -

One for the ladies...

Men build bridges and throw railroads across deserts, and yet they contend successfully that the job of sewing on a button is beyond them. Accordingly, they don't have to sew buttons.
- Heywood Broun -