Plague 2020

Thanks to the British Army, I've had my shoes stuck to the stickiest carpets in any nightclub the world has to offer. I've scrubbed floors, toilets, baths and showers on my hands and knees without gloves. I've eaten food cooked by chefs that took a cooking course so hard none of them has ever passed it. I've drunk whatever hooch the locals have had to offer and still got up and done a run at daft o'clock the following morning. Showered and shaved in freezing cold water, done press ups in the mud, eaten with oil, diesel and grease covered fingers, lived in a tiny space for months on end with some of the most disgusting toe picking, arse scratching, fart mongers the world has ever seen without fresh air or natural light. This coronavirus hasn't got a fucking chance with any of us ex-squaddies! I wonder if that's why I feel so calm about all of this.