Shaving

So, I've got terribly sensitive skin when shaving & the fella says try that Veet stuff, you'll stay smooth for weeks......Last Friday he's away fishing, so I thought right I'll give this a shot, starts on lower legs, working upwards....wondering how I'm guna reach underneath, gets a towel, lays on floor whilst trying to spread said hair removing paste into the under regions. Fuk me - you have to be a contortionist to get it down there.....had me left tit tucked under me arm and me right one in me mouth just so I could see down there.......
Leaves for said amount of time, stands in shower & begins scra-ping. Starts to come off legs like a fucking dream. I'm thinking "hallelujah" I'm guna be hairless'....the bottom of the bath resembles a swamp but it's all good.....UNTIL me arsehole & crack start burning and I'm looking like I'm doing the fucking twist - abandons upper legs to get to me burning twitching ring piece and a clit that feels like it's been scolded with a hot iron BUT at least I'll be hair free for weeks yeah????
NO! Me muff looked like a badly singed Micheal Jackson do, me clit was doing the moonwalk and me arse hole still stings 5 days later AND get this.....it all needs doing again!!!
Well fuck you Veet you lying torcherous bastard...It's back to legs in the air with a good old razor and me fanny making Chewbacca noises in the bath.....