Cheaters
There was a show in the mid oughts (noughts) called Cheaters which seemed to run exclusively in the 2-4am 'why are you awake now' time slot. Which is just as well. Not so much a guilty pleasure, more like 'I need to bathe in Purell and then have the TV autoclaved' kind of thing. Which should always be viewed under the cover of darkness.
Each episode started with the slimy host talking to someone who had sent in some pitiful story about why they suspected their significant other was cheating. I would have begun each interview with 'Has he/she told you they were cheating?' I bet 75% of the answers would be in the affirmative. 'Well there you go, case solved' I would reply. Which admittedly would not make for compelling viewing. Which is why I wasn't the host. Well, that and the fact that I am sure there is a specific circle of hell populated by people involved with a show like that, even viewers...strike that last comment, got carried away.
Anyway, host talks to person, they set up an action plan which was usually 'we will watch him/her.' Ok, sounds reasonable. Taping the suspect. Eventually the host talks to the soon-to-be-single oh damn spoiler alarm I gave that away. And I don't think it's just my opinion that the host was usually slimier than earlier in the show-like he was using some kind of 'slime helper' product to boost his slimy quotient. One guy was shown footage of his gf going into Wendy's with a guy and bf moaned 'Awww, we always go to Wendy's.' Which seemed to be as poignant as it was ridiculous.
The third scene in the show was the confrontation. Cheaters usually gave unconvincing answers like 'It's not what it seems' while the other guy/girl would be sitting impatiently in a car making it totally obvious that it was EXACTLY what it seemed. Then a camera and a light is pointed at the 'other' person. I think one woman said 'If she don't kill him I will.' While she heard the guy saying 'C'mon, she don't mean nothin' to me' which is like a lose-lose strategy. "Oh, I didn't mean NUTHIN nuthin, heh' nice try Clyde. Sometimes the other woman and the gf got into screaming matches. If it was another guy it was almost like him and the bf were thinking 'Maybe if we wasn't on TV I would kick yer ass' and I don't think I ever heard 2 guys shouting, There would be a quick attempt by the host to say 'Well maybe you 2 could work this out' while all but rolling his eyes and shaking his head.
One episode was extremely different. The other guy was totally cool while the camera is in his face, strolling casually with his hands in his pockets, eventually arrives at his pickup truck and reaches for something...followed by shouts from the crew, mad scramble. The host impressed me with his reflexes because he was half way across the parking lot after the first shout, and with good reason: the guy had pulled out a cattle prod and was demonstrating how it worked. In a voice-over (had to be done later of course, unless he had been shouting from down the street) host mentioned that a couple crew members had gotten zapped. All the while the guy looks totally indifferent, like 'You cause problems, I got the solution.' But I am paraphrasing since he didn't say a thing-just got in the truck and drove off. Cue the Cheaters credits...
Each episode started with the slimy host talking to someone who had sent in some pitiful story about why they suspected their significant other was cheating. I would have begun each interview with 'Has he/she told you they were cheating?' I bet 75% of the answers would be in the affirmative. 'Well there you go, case solved' I would reply. Which admittedly would not make for compelling viewing. Which is why I wasn't the host. Well, that and the fact that I am sure there is a specific circle of hell populated by people involved with a show like that, even viewers...strike that last comment, got carried away.
Anyway, host talks to person, they set up an action plan which was usually 'we will watch him/her.' Ok, sounds reasonable. Taping the suspect. Eventually the host talks to the soon-to-be-single oh damn spoiler alarm I gave that away. And I don't think it's just my opinion that the host was usually slimier than earlier in the show-like he was using some kind of 'slime helper' product to boost his slimy quotient. One guy was shown footage of his gf going into Wendy's with a guy and bf moaned 'Awww, we always go to Wendy's.' Which seemed to be as poignant as it was ridiculous.
The third scene in the show was the confrontation. Cheaters usually gave unconvincing answers like 'It's not what it seems' while the other guy/girl would be sitting impatiently in a car making it totally obvious that it was EXACTLY what it seemed. Then a camera and a light is pointed at the 'other' person. I think one woman said 'If she don't kill him I will.' While she heard the guy saying 'C'mon, she don't mean nothin' to me' which is like a lose-lose strategy. "Oh, I didn't mean NUTHIN nuthin, heh' nice try Clyde. Sometimes the other woman and the gf got into screaming matches. If it was another guy it was almost like him and the bf were thinking 'Maybe if we wasn't on TV I would kick yer ass' and I don't think I ever heard 2 guys shouting, There would be a quick attempt by the host to say 'Well maybe you 2 could work this out' while all but rolling his eyes and shaking his head.
One episode was extremely different. The other guy was totally cool while the camera is in his face, strolling casually with his hands in his pockets, eventually arrives at his pickup truck and reaches for something...followed by shouts from the crew, mad scramble. The host impressed me with his reflexes because he was half way across the parking lot after the first shout, and with good reason: the guy had pulled out a cattle prod and was demonstrating how it worked. In a voice-over (had to be done later of course, unless he had been shouting from down the street) host mentioned that a couple crew members had gotten zapped. All the while the guy looks totally indifferent, like 'You cause problems, I got the solution.' But I am paraphrasing since he didn't say a thing-just got in the truck and drove off. Cue the Cheaters credits...
7 years ago